soooooooo yahhhhh !!!!!!!!!!!!
THAT close to him and to see him that happpy !!!!!!
and suddenly some guy comes over at the table to talk to him or smthing like you cant see the top part like you just could see someone standing there and you try to move yourself away frm him as he was holding you that close and in that way and as you try to move and the waaay he just pulls you closer with his hand still over your shoulder and then looks at you and nods that one nod of his like when that onenod happens na charlie like agar kuch koi emergency bhi ho gayi samjhoo like aju baju wale ke yaha aag bi lag gayi tum udhar se hilteeee nai bantaaa.... that one nod of his that one look from him and bas you freeze and HOW !!!!!!!!!!!
like cant move dont wanna move wala situation ho jaati thi !!!!!
same ditto in the dream too...
and just be as siad and he just stays there talking to someone and holding you closer and this one strong smell of smthing like the bad kind and you couldnt take it any longer and you sneeze and wake up.... that one feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel it was some bug kinda smell that you could still smell.....
but that one beauuuuuuuuuuuuuty of the moment even after the waking up was like you could stil feeeeel his hand over your shoulder like he had it held that close and strong with his arm over you like you could still feeeel it over your shoulder.... like you clearly remember you were achaa awake like not half sleepy and half awake wala state like poora poora awake state and yet could feeel that feeeeeeeel of his arm over your shoulder.... and that strangely beautiful khushiiiiiii it just fills you p with, feeel your own shoulder only away with that feeeel of he was right here...
in your mind it was that mad strange thing of feeling his touch over your shoulder and in a way whils doing that try to touch his hand arm away...
as weird as it soudns now writing it out for you in that moment it meant the world...
waking up to his dreams charlie - means the world to you !!!!!!!
like after waking up you know you wont feel see him around but that sense of him that feeeel of him still on your mind is smthing you try to make peace with like ignore or atleast try to ignore that bad need to look for him around after every singel dream...
and then there was that first time feeeeeel that you felt a few days back....
when you wake up and first thing see his channel and find a song and play it that complete moment for the first time ever in all these years and dreams for years now felt like you woke up from some dream of his with him still by your side... still there even after waking up !!
smthings as strange weird mad as they maybe but smtimes what and HOW they can make you feeeeeeeeeel in that very moment is beyooooond logics and words i say.....
waaaay beyond !!!!!!
to this dream last nite...
the actual dont go dream....
its this thing like watching his trailer over n over again and everytime ek like marlu kyaa like mare thoo bi pata chalta mein he like mari karke like what if your name pops up and he blocks you there also and then if some day he does upload the actual movie there you wont be able to see that also... and struggle to subside that urge that neeeed to hit a like cause thats how much you loved the trailer......
desite of that one strangely ironic feeel it gives you with the age thing....
the background music the visuals everything and most of all the sight of his khaki jacket that many memories seeing him for the very first time with that full grown beauuuuuuuuuuuuuty of his daaaaaaadi him loooking his messy beauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuutiful best stil in the lift in the khaki jacket....
it was def the most beauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuutiful sight of your life.....
any presence of his and to just live and that one feeeeeeeeeel - BEAUTIFUL !!!!!!!!
not just on the outside but just having known him the most beauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuutiful person of your life !!!!!!!!!!!
including the annoying as fakaaaaaafak habit of his including that too.... yess fak is when its a normal level of fak fakaaaaaaaaaaafak is when it crosses the limit only.... like not the literal sense of it !!!!!!
kidar to kidar sooooooo yahhhhhhhhh !!!!!!!
nonsense !!!!!!!!!
the more you watch it that one heart filled with pride and that wierd feeling too.....
you shouldnt be there wali ajeeb feeeeling....
up the vol of his music and get on with the work and not sure when you sleep and this prolly was the first time when the dream goes back to that very scene right ther eon the bench and you try to move and the way this time he dosnt smile or anything but that face of his like he wanted to say smthing stop you from doing smthing and you try to move and the way this time he grabs your wrist looks at it and now as you write you realize like he was checking if it was same one that was with bruises or the other one..... and as he checks and then holds your wrist that tight that firm and says dont go maybe seeing your confused face says it again with a nod different nod this time like he was requesting you in a different heart felt or hurt sort of way.... not sure how to describe it but just the way he was that firm in his voice and in his touch the way he holds your wrist and says it one more time dont go.....
and you sit down the sec you sit down like you move like you feel the movement upwards like you know feel poooraa you moved upwards and you wake up....
it was as if though he pulled you closer held you firmly and made sure to tel you dont go.....
wake up the very first thing you do is to unblock him.....
as bloooodyfooooolest as you feeeeeeeel doing it every single time but smthings you alone know what and HOW that moment that touch of his that sound of his voice the waaaaay he says it the waaaaaaaaaaay he looks at you saying it, all of it made you feel like in that very moment and you just goo with it.....
it was like he dint want you to leave his side and was making sure he lets you know that like being that firm bout it with that tone of his voice.....
to just be there to just sit there just soo he oculd feeeel that you dint go was the only thing you wake up feeeeeeeeling !!!!!!!!!
and how all of this is conected with you unblociing him on whatsapp is a logic you will enevr understand....
but the sec you do it sort of asnwers it away without any word or logic...
just how and what it makes you feel after is again beyond logics...
smthings that beauuuuuuuuuuutiful no wonder this looooooove to feeel that sense of falling sleepy to just feeeel your eyes go hazy cause in your mind its that one loud ting time to meet him time to see him time to live him feeeeeel him !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
finally !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THAT close to him and to see him that happpy !!!!!!
and suddenly some guy comes over at the table to talk to him or smthing like you cant see the top part like you just could see someone standing there and you try to move yourself away frm him as he was holding you that close and in that way and as you try to move and the waaay he just pulls you closer with his hand still over your shoulder and then looks at you and nods that one nod of his like when that onenod happens na charlie like agar kuch koi emergency bhi ho gayi samjhoo like aju baju wale ke yaha aag bi lag gayi tum udhar se hilteeee nai bantaaa.... that one nod of his that one look from him and bas you freeze and HOW !!!!!!!!!!!
like cant move dont wanna move wala situation ho jaati thi !!!!!
same ditto in the dream too...
and just be as siad and he just stays there talking to someone and holding you closer and this one strong smell of smthing like the bad kind and you couldnt take it any longer and you sneeze and wake up.... that one feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel it was some bug kinda smell that you could still smell.....
but that one beauuuuuuuuuuuuuty of the moment even after the waking up was like you could stil feeeeel his hand over your shoulder like he had it held that close and strong with his arm over you like you could still feeeel it over your shoulder.... like you clearly remember you were achaa awake like not half sleepy and half awake wala state like poora poora awake state and yet could feeel that feeeeeeeel of his arm over your shoulder.... and that strangely beautiful khushiiiiiii it just fills you p with, feeel your own shoulder only away with that feeeel of he was right here...
in your mind it was that mad strange thing of feeling his touch over your shoulder and in a way whils doing that try to touch his hand arm away...
as weird as it soudns now writing it out for you in that moment it meant the world...
waking up to his dreams charlie - means the world to you !!!!!!!
like after waking up you know you wont feel see him around but that sense of him that feeeel of him still on your mind is smthing you try to make peace with like ignore or atleast try to ignore that bad need to look for him around after every singel dream...
and then there was that first time feeeeeel that you felt a few days back....
when you wake up and first thing see his channel and find a song and play it that complete moment for the first time ever in all these years and dreams for years now felt like you woke up from some dream of his with him still by your side... still there even after waking up !!
smthings as strange weird mad as they maybe but smtimes what and HOW they can make you feeeeeeeeeel in that very moment is beyooooond logics and words i say.....
waaaay beyond !!!!!!
to this dream last nite...
the actual dont go dream....
its this thing like watching his trailer over n over again and everytime ek like marlu kyaa like mare thoo bi pata chalta mein he like mari karke like what if your name pops up and he blocks you there also and then if some day he does upload the actual movie there you wont be able to see that also... and struggle to subside that urge that neeeed to hit a like cause thats how much you loved the trailer......
desite of that one strangely ironic feeel it gives you with the age thing....
the background music the visuals everything and most of all the sight of his khaki jacket that many memories seeing him for the very first time with that full grown beauuuuuuuuuuuuuty of his daaaaaaadi him loooking his messy beauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuutiful best stil in the lift in the khaki jacket....
it was def the most beauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuutiful sight of your life.....
any presence of his and to just live and that one feeeeeeeeeel - BEAUTIFUL !!!!!!!!
not just on the outside but just having known him the most beauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuutiful person of your life !!!!!!!!!!!
including the annoying as fakaaaaaafak habit of his including that too.... yess fak is when its a normal level of fak fakaaaaaaaaaaafak is when it crosses the limit only.... like not the literal sense of it !!!!!!
kidar to kidar sooooooo yahhhhhhhhh !!!!!!!
nonsense !!!!!!!!!
the more you watch it that one heart filled with pride and that wierd feeling too.....
you shouldnt be there wali ajeeb feeeeling....
up the vol of his music and get on with the work and not sure when you sleep and this prolly was the first time when the dream goes back to that very scene right ther eon the bench and you try to move and the way this time he dosnt smile or anything but that face of his like he wanted to say smthing stop you from doing smthing and you try to move and the way this time he grabs your wrist looks at it and now as you write you realize like he was checking if it was same one that was with bruises or the other one..... and as he checks and then holds your wrist that tight that firm and says dont go maybe seeing your confused face says it again with a nod different nod this time like he was requesting you in a different heart felt or hurt sort of way.... not sure how to describe it but just the way he was that firm in his voice and in his touch the way he holds your wrist and says it one more time dont go.....
and you sit down the sec you sit down like you move like you feel the movement upwards like you know feel poooraa you moved upwards and you wake up....
it was as if though he pulled you closer held you firmly and made sure to tel you dont go.....
wake up the very first thing you do is to unblock him.....
as bloooodyfooooolest as you feeeeeeeel doing it every single time but smthings you alone know what and HOW that moment that touch of his that sound of his voice the waaaaay he says it the waaaaaaaaaaay he looks at you saying it, all of it made you feel like in that very moment and you just goo with it.....
it was like he dint want you to leave his side and was making sure he lets you know that like being that firm bout it with that tone of his voice.....
to just be there to just sit there just soo he oculd feeeel that you dint go was the only thing you wake up feeeeeeeeling !!!!!!!!!
and how all of this is conected with you unblociing him on whatsapp is a logic you will enevr understand....
but the sec you do it sort of asnwers it away without any word or logic...
just how and what it makes you feel after is again beyond logics...
smthings that beauuuuuuuuuuutiful no wonder this looooooove to feeel that sense of falling sleepy to just feeeel your eyes go hazy cause in your mind its that one loud ting time to meet him time to see him time to live him feeeeeel him !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
finally !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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