being wih him living him loooving him and being that much with him watching him that close this one feeeeeeel i t left you with....
having lived that many versions o fhis love for you for people around him including his lucky...... like you almost touched felt his heart like reached his heart and not the love on the outside outside kinda love.....
like you literally touched felt live dhi sheart !!!!
this one thing bout him if he is hurt with smthing like mostly nothing really hurts him or affect shim that bad.... like most of the things he would just let it away.... like you know not really let it affect him but when he is hurt it take a lotttt for him to get hurt.... and when he is with smthing it stains is heart away....
like he may change or be nice and all but it stains his heart away forever.... like that one thing you cant change no matter what that one stain that one hurt that he felt will stay with him no matter what.....
also why smtimes it makes you wonder aisaaaa mein uskuu kya kari hogi that he did change this bad towards you.... like you know it makes you wonder smtimes knowing him well where orhow did you hurt him or smthing that did make him oush you away hold you away from him... despite of the love of his that you still this strongly feeel like you know for sure he loves you but that thing botu what or how did you hurt him that dint make him stay or want t ohave you in his life does make you wonder.....
to his mom thing things maybe nice and best is what you hope for, but knowing him some corner in his heart it still must be there.....
this one visual of the mom n son is all you can assume of and that hauntingly beautiful voice in the acjground and that feeeeeeeeeel it fills you up with.....
having seen him be that very kid with you like he comes as love of yours looking that beauutifully messy that you wanna jus t chummiiiiii him away but the sec you go closer that one lostness in his eyes and you hold back and the way he just hodls your hand takes you to the corner and just holds your arm keeping it close to his chest and just sleeps tries moving a bit toll he finds that comfy spot on your lap and then just stays that way....
like you that lost in that moment you forget to move or touch his forhead and the waaaaaay he would take your other hand and literally make run your hand through his hair....
just stay with me karely just be like this for me karely..... promise me you wont ever leave me like other people did.....
by that one word you know who he meant and thats when you realize what ws the reason for his lostness then.... it sthat rush of feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeling charlie wnating to hold all o fhim away just the way he was on your lap and there is also that feeel to let him just let it all out without interrupting him... like letting him live his moment just the way he wanted to.....
its a promise you made for the lifetime no matter what when or how to jus tbe there for him no matter what !!!!!!!!!!!!!
its in moments like these especially did he become your life in the true sense of the word.... like waaaaay beyond just love...
holding him living him living that lostness in him make a promise to be there with him for him.... no matter what !!!!!!
today when you see that clip of a few secs the waaaaaay all of those moments lived iwth him rush through you.... when he did make you his mom when you lived that feeeeeling of him being your son..... in every sense of the word......
like you shared that bond lived that bond with him in those moments and after too...
its like he is your responsibility even in his absence this one lil prayer thing before you feeel that sleep hazy mind eyes shutting too much and you jsut say a prayer every nite wishing no matter where he is he should be safe and happy....
to think of it now you were always ALWAYS meant to be his....
right from that very first start of his walk in your life....
the waaaaaaaaay just watching him with that lostness around used to disturb you make you want to wish for that moment when you could see him smile.... like that thing of someone plsssss make him happy make him smile like that one constant hope wish call it whatever was there evrry day....
hoping to see him smile....
to having lived him wanting to be your son wanting you to love him like a mommy to making you lieraly promise him youll always be his mommy no matter what.....
like a sec back you wanted to hold him chummmi him hug himm away like those moments in love rush through you and the sec he holds you and shares that moment shares that bond with you you did become his mommy....... HAPPILY !!!!!!!!
with that feeeeeling of luckiest in the world for having a son like him is ay......
you neeed to see him charlie in moments like those that sound he keeps making holding you closer asking you never to leave him then holding you closer again like he wont let you leave him kinda closer.....
even as you write now this one weird feeeel tear in the eye and that much looooove rushing through you !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
kya haiiiiii kaiseeeee hai kabseee hai nai malooom bas - HIM is all i know, ever known...
having lived that many versions o fhis love for you for people around him including his lucky...... like you almost touched felt his heart like reached his heart and not the love on the outside outside kinda love.....
like you literally touched felt live dhi sheart !!!!
this one thing bout him if he is hurt with smthing like mostly nothing really hurts him or affect shim that bad.... like most of the things he would just let it away.... like you know not really let it affect him but when he is hurt it take a lotttt for him to get hurt.... and when he is with smthing it stains is heart away....
like he may change or be nice and all but it stains his heart away forever.... like that one thing you cant change no matter what that one stain that one hurt that he felt will stay with him no matter what.....
also why smtimes it makes you wonder aisaaaa mein uskuu kya kari hogi that he did change this bad towards you.... like you know it makes you wonder smtimes knowing him well where orhow did you hurt him or smthing that did make him oush you away hold you away from him... despite of the love of his that you still this strongly feeel like you know for sure he loves you but that thing botu what or how did you hurt him that dint make him stay or want t ohave you in his life does make you wonder.....
to his mom thing things maybe nice and best is what you hope for, but knowing him some corner in his heart it still must be there.....
this one visual of the mom n son is all you can assume of and that hauntingly beautiful voice in the acjground and that feeeeeeeeeel it fills you up with.....
having seen him be that very kid with you like he comes as love of yours looking that beauutifully messy that you wanna jus t chummiiiiii him away but the sec you go closer that one lostness in his eyes and you hold back and the way he just hodls your hand takes you to the corner and just holds your arm keeping it close to his chest and just sleeps tries moving a bit toll he finds that comfy spot on your lap and then just stays that way....
like you that lost in that moment you forget to move or touch his forhead and the waaaaaay he would take your other hand and literally make run your hand through his hair....
just stay with me karely just be like this for me karely..... promise me you wont ever leave me like other people did.....
by that one word you know who he meant and thats when you realize what ws the reason for his lostness then.... it sthat rush of feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeling charlie wnating to hold all o fhim away just the way he was on your lap and there is also that feeel to let him just let it all out without interrupting him... like letting him live his moment just the way he wanted to.....
its a promise you made for the lifetime no matter what when or how to jus tbe there for him no matter what !!!!!!!!!!!!!
its in moments like these especially did he become your life in the true sense of the word.... like waaaaay beyond just love...
holding him living him living that lostness in him make a promise to be there with him for him.... no matter what !!!!!!
today when you see that clip of a few secs the waaaaaay all of those moments lived iwth him rush through you.... when he did make you his mom when you lived that feeeeeling of him being your son..... in every sense of the word......
like you shared that bond lived that bond with him in those moments and after too...
its like he is your responsibility even in his absence this one lil prayer thing before you feeel that sleep hazy mind eyes shutting too much and you jsut say a prayer every nite wishing no matter where he is he should be safe and happy....
to think of it now you were always ALWAYS meant to be his....
right from that very first start of his walk in your life....
the waaaaaaaaay just watching him with that lostness around used to disturb you make you want to wish for that moment when you could see him smile.... like that thing of someone plsssss make him happy make him smile like that one constant hope wish call it whatever was there evrry day....
hoping to see him smile....
to having lived him wanting to be your son wanting you to love him like a mommy to making you lieraly promise him youll always be his mommy no matter what.....
like a sec back you wanted to hold him chummmi him hug himm away like those moments in love rush through you and the sec he holds you and shares that moment shares that bond with you you did become his mommy....... HAPPILY !!!!!!!!
with that feeeeeling of luckiest in the world for having a son like him is ay......
you neeed to see him charlie in moments like those that sound he keeps making holding you closer asking you never to leave him then holding you closer again like he wont let you leave him kinda closer.....
even as you write now this one weird feeeel tear in the eye and that much looooove rushing through you !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
kya haiiiiii kaiseeeee hai kabseee hai nai malooom bas - HIM is all i know, ever known...
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