Visuals!!

 Ever since the start of the year there have been a zillion moments where it felt like you were back in 2009 like you wer literally living a day a date from that very MOST loved year of your life also why you add his opera pic of yours crop it best and make it your dp...just so he doesn't realise it's the same one incase if he sees by any slightest chance bhi...

To this very night the track on loop mind on loop playing those list moments his car light blinking to that night of your first psy beedi experience to him bringing the Biryani for you and just living you away...

Some.nights nai feel different just very very different!!!!!!

Tonight your heart your mind your soul feels different andar se donno why or how but this very feeeel right now...

With THIE much kissing rushing yjroufn you right now now!!!!!!!

Sing miyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa you'll always be missed the most loved the most I say!!!!!!!

Nothing but the best to the best ever human ever to exist on the wave of this planet I say!!!!!!!

The one and only human that just simply walked into your life and filled every blood cell in you with nothing but whole Lotta looooooooove the kinda love that doesn't change with time or doesn't change with the change itself...

That just stays queitly stays 0 expectations I say!!!!!

To think of it now now the hitchki hitting you feel to think of it now tyhse few times him messaging much after 2018 him asking what you even want from me how do you answer a question like that one charlie like how...

That too from a person who being the only one you've ever loved in your life what do you even say to that you can't not want one something one part of theirs like what do you want from me it's not just the part just the heart just that one spedicfic thing from something as simple as breathing him to just wake up to smelling their presence even much after the wakingupto too to just living him walking across the road for something to just seeing them wave back at some security guy to just living them having a conversation with some random person and it still makes your heart live that moemnt there in corner that man right there standing talking is all your heart ever wished loved lived for in life...like it makes your heart sigh that feeeeeeling I LOVE him man not when he does something very extraordinary or something very mushy towards you...just their simple existence makes you feel that feeling of falling soaking in love with them all over again doing thw the random.most thing is when you truly love them as a whole...and not just some part of theirs that you derive something out of.....it's just that most selfless form of love that you feel intensely passionately for them doing the most basic thing that still makes your heart skio a beat seatimes or seatimes makes it beat faster in a rush...

Even in those moments of him asking that question it makes you wonder in that moemnt it's not one something that I want from you that it's this or that you want that one person on the whole be it them in their good days best days and most importantly on their worst days you want them too you want to love that too live that too...like it's just not this that you want them for you want them on the whole with their everything and even their nothing's...

And the mind the night the mood feels more different now...!

Singaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!

Magic in a Human Form, the mosttttttt beauuuuuutiful kind I swear!!!!!!!!!

Visuals!!

 Just days back when you think you saw Rohit his cousin and as you get off the car and walking towards the store cafe his cousin checking you out and you realise ayyaaaaa it's his cousin like you just stand there and recall playing with rohit n his sister around the house running as the cousin stops for a sec and calls you vadina vadina.....back then you didn't know what it meant it was only much layer do you realise the meaning of it...

That day to just notice the kid all grown up you suddenly realised how many years have passed by like some moments nai it hits youhard and that day that moment was it all and more and you just live him all in that one second and nod away to the cousin in your head thinking kid if you only knew like the cousin doesn't realise or recognise you but that one strong feeeeeeeel and him high you come home to...

Like that one visual takes you back to all those moments when dropping you back home along with his sister him in Bangalore the kid would actually get down and come along with you till the gate to drop you all the way you keep saying it's fine it's fine and the way the kid would say nai kittu bhayya bole to take care of you in his absence...

Something's nai even as you write now this very feeeeeeeeeeeeeeel of him right now!!!!!!

Like you've been avoiding wrijting all this missing out since his priority post his video post with ringo cuddling away like it's those versions of him that you've lived loooooooooved the mpstest make you miss him the mostest too!!!!!

It always somehow takes you back to the gate of his house standing there with him just bout leaving inhis car his tail light blinking as he looks at you through the side rear view like just stops for that while that feeeeeeeeeeeeeeel nai to hold him right there knowing somehow strangely that gut feeling knowing it could be the last time then...

To when he comes that close to your ear to whisper I don't want to but have to like even when he says that you wanted to just kiss him away in that very moment like it did feeeeel he was walking away and you just wanted to make the most of his presence for yhsow few seconds more for a lil while longer...

Even now working this one his lucky track playing mind him highd still hichki doesn't hit today aaaaj it's been all him so you take the day off and work on the pending designs......

It did change aot of plans tho like you try to hold dissolve your mind into all work but there is music then there is MUSIC that woooooosh bolke brings him along kaiseeeee bhi!!!!!!!

Some moments!!

 This weird feeling and also when the heart always always has only wished nothing but the best for him always...

This story of his of a wedding set up and this feel could be his ever since the waking up...soon as you see the story that first reaction was strangely smile away and wish only the best for him...him nai charlie deserves nothing but the best of everything in the world his heart wishes for, always!!!!!!!

That's how pure soul of a human he is....love LOVE nothing but the most beauuuuuutiful form of LOVE in a human form HIM...

Waking ups!!

 When you literalllllly wake up with all night of him whispering away something that thaaaaaaaaaaaat close to your ears...just the sound of his voice all night last night!!

So much so that you wake up missing that feeeeeeeeeeeeel of his lips on your ear like something that important part of your ear missing kinda vibe...

The waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay that instant feeeeeel still on the bed as you feel your right ear missing that feeeeel of his lips there...it instantly brings back that same missing feeeeeeel soon as you get off his couch in Versova and stand there with that same missing feeeeel and just look at him......him asking you in Ishara what happened cause he could sense that lostness in you and you couldn't tell him how much how baaaaaaaaad you were missing him already...cause earlier in some meet he had strictly mentioned don't talk love or mush to me!!!!!

And you just stand there missing his leg cause all that while for few hours wrapped with him just being living him away and soon as you get up that instant feeeeeel like something that important missijg in your body kinda feel...

That sense of sudden emptiness soon as away from him cause that's how tight he was wrapped all around......not giving too many details but that feeeeeeeeeeeeel and suddenly you get up and miss that in you...looking at his face checking that lostness in you you so badly wanted to scream out and tell him on his face I missssssss you soooooo much already and you just gulp it down and nod saying nothing...

Even walking out and he stands there at the door and you ask him bahar aake chod that feel nai charlie not knowing when you'll see him next that lil walk with him him with you for few more mins you didn't want to miss...as he walks with you for that one second he comes closest like he used to earlier and slowly lifts his arm a lil up just like he used to back then showing you how to hold onto his arm and that evening too slowly lifts his arm up and then moves a lil away then looks at you just smiles away cause you were just bout to hold him that expression on him......cause that's how used to you were holding him and walking along with him...and his body too subconsciously reacts in that same way as your arms did for that one second...

Inside hoping there's no auto close-by so that few more mins with him as he looks around and you waiting for him to tell you stay back na that waiiiiit in you cause you could that clearly read it all across his face but that wait for his words the waaaaaay just the waaaaaaaaaay he keeps looking you in the eye.......finally a min or two later auto comes over getting in he takes a cigarette as he walks across the road too see his legs through the auto window...

Some visuals nai still this STILL this clear!!!!!!!

Like it all was just bout yesterday...!

Sooooooo yahhhhhhhfrom where to where only it went the same that same missing over your ear this morning cause that's how long he was right there whispering something way breathing over your ear...

Not a word you remember but now that one feeeeeeeeel of Versova takes over your mind, from his lips to his leg back from Versova!!!!!!!!

This morning already !!!!!!!! From a waking up to his Lucky Ali new track every single word of this track all HIM!!!!!!! Beh jaooooooo sangggg tere, tuuuuuuuuuu jaaaaaane hai kahaaaaa!!!!!!!!!

Sing miyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa how only!!!!!!!!!!!

Priority...!

 

Even after having saved it on your Pinterest board this need to save it here you spend all your day most trying to figure out how to get back posting images...this level of peace right now when you are able to do so...

Some moments nai need visual to tell the complete story and give out the actual vibe of the moment asto how and what was it that you exactly felt like...

This was one of those moments of urgency I say, hichki down or not you just had to!!

Hummmaaaaa!!!!!!

The opera visual story...!

What only!!!!

 And for the whatever of God you are unable to post the image here even after trying all cookies whatever it is unable to post images this one thing about techlogoy why is it this humanly chanellnging to understand !!!!!!

At this kind of hours where pee who bhi utri understanding cookies away ayyyaaaaaaaaaaa him calling you cooookiepie every single time you read cookies somewhere!!!!!

Logics!!!!

 Today hicki hit too high this mind spiralling away right now so.zoom bolke......

Ok another realisation today to work on job you need 2 balls which you already have but to run a business you gotta have 10 or.mpre balls to get through I swear.....

There are days when you literally have that same vibe as a kid trying struggling to get the sock on and then gives up throwing the sock away nah not anymore kinda thing then there are days you take it as your hideout for your mind...

Cause honestly charloe if it wasn't for your work consuming you literally howelse would you possibly have survived his absence from your life...

Nai hota tha otherwise I swear never ever anybody in your life did become the ultimaye priority of your heart and soul literally!!!!

Like even on your worst most tiring late nighty work schedules there's that peace that safe hideout of your mind into all things him...

Feomovinf to new studio space to having to fix the entire roof all over again with pant and stuff it's been maddening shoots postponed store setup postponed to looking for new space and then running out of budget to your ac telling you to instead investing in property Insyead.....it's all been too too crazy for your mind to keep pace with to understand to the photographer being an absolute leechad for hiring a bigger crew to changing plans shoot schedules and your ode to the sea collection changing again...

There's only that lil a small mind can possibly work and digest no......there's way too many things it's been feeding on ab hajam nai hora...

As glam as it looks fr the outside it's an absolute 24/7 job ever since having moved here.....too many things working simultaneously you were never used to!!

Then there is the back work for the shoot styling and stuff and tgus another visual ofa woman again and that feeeeeeeeeeeeeeel of him taking that picture of you at opera and falls in love with that picture of yours......as you see and call it ugly and he calls it your most loved picture taken by him...like his ultimate fav picture of yours !!!!!

This image as you were reseacthingon pinterest the second you see it it immmmmmediately reminds you of that pic of yours he had clicked at opera...

After a rush of love post moments he moves a lil away watching you watch him as you were holding yourself away with that intensity of the moemnts and he takes his phone out and takes a picture of you...

Some moemnts nai...!