Soft!!!!

 It still all is this very clear also cause it was the first and only time you got to live that many versions some new some old ones back again that one day...

Where soon as he goes back to his side of the couch and then looks you in the eye and mentions bout him having to leave for a meeting by 4 like that was your deadline with him for that meet kinda announcement it felt like...

That one isntant fataaaaaak pull and you literally go up to him and sit down like there was this coffee table behind you with his laptop and him on the low couch seating thing and you sit down on the floor space close to him on his feet almost ...

And you gently slowly raise your arms and in Ishara asking him permission if you could touch him and the way he shuts his eyes leans a lil forward towards you and you touch his hair and he opens his eyes surprised smiling chuckling away as you set his hairstyle the way he leans a more almost locking you away with his legs in between his legs closer to him...you do that Johnny Bravo hairdo and he lets you the second you are done you try to take a look how gorgeoysssssssss he looked in that knit thing cause you'd never seen him wear anything like that ever before even that color nkevr on him and the waaaaaaaaaay he looked that beauuuuuutiful in that!!!!!

He messes up that hairdo and leans a lil more for you to do it again and you do the same and he again waist for you to check it out and then messes it up again like it goes on for 2-3 times as much as you remember to that final time his face all of him that closest to you and this time he just looks you in the eye as you raise your arms and instead of his hair this time the way he slowly lifts his arms just a lil bit and that rusggggggg in you to just hold him and the second you do the waaaaaaaaaaaaay he holds you back tighter closer to him that second always used to be your melt away point wooooooosh bolke.........

Like he tightly holds you back and this one second you wanted to look at him again and move back a lil and he immeeeediately comes closer nose chummies your face away just like he used to back then after ages that very same feeeeeeeeeeeeelingof his kiss that way even as you write now there are some scents in your life charlie no longer how long it's been since lived that smelled that you can still smell it even after years.......shutting your eyes away one sniff and that scent of him on your nose same beautiful scent of him on your nose!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Moments!!

 That one meet!!!!!!

In a different city seeing him meeting him being with him like you were used to being with him all alone in his previous house to dd house too but this since the very start felt that different that beautifuk that intense somehow...

That soon as you enter is Versova house you look yaha waha and the way u keep asking him random things bout stuff around his apartment on the fridge some Bhagwan there some Beatle thing on the table without looking at him and the waaaaay he could just sense every nerve if you even from a distance like he knew you inside out even from a distance like know understand what exactly you are feeling in that very moment just know ...

And he chuckles away plays some music to ease you on his laptop and asks you to sit first on the couch next to his...

And finally you do and look at him him with that one smiiiiiiiile on him knowing what and how you were feeling on the inside...starts to look for something on his laptop saying let's watch something talks bout his current work project and stuff with when it's going to be telecasted and stuff his then project something by humtum to be on TV soon stuff......and then suddenly moves the laptop away after selecting some song and playing it and then straight away comes to you lays his head over your lap and that sudden feeeeeeel of losing your breath like for that moemntwhen your breath pauses for the most beautiful moemnt out of that sudden lot of happiness like to see him that way with you on your lap after years like he used to back then in Opera....

And you just run your fingers through his hair and the way he pushes his head against your tummy finding that one comfort spot and then holds your by your waist and snugs up a lil more and allthroufb those few mins your heart your soul your mind everything yn you goes numb like all you could sense feel see touch think or move or anything at all was just him...that visual of him in that very moment still this clear like that one creamish oatmeal color almost knit type of softest thing he was wearing with those khaki long chaddi his head on your lap movingagainst your tummy him holding you closest.......

Some visuals nai!!!!!!!!!

Today!!!!

 Right from that start to having to head out for some more interior work and then evening dinner out with mom and a friend and this need to wear this black kurti that you had designed for yourself that was similar to his pathani set that you had done for him but still with you.....

It's that feeeeel of him in your head charlie that again felt like back in time...

His black kurti with silver jewellery the way he liked it on you with lot of Kajal like you used to back then and the second you step out your mom first thing you dressed up today like this after years like u used to back then...

It's that whole himcoming from this morning those glimpses and sounds of him that one big moooood you already were in...

Just outside the restaurant in the car as your driver flashes the light on the car in the front the guy kissing the nose of the girl and bas khalaaas it was like sealed the whole missing him you were already struggling to deal with...

You literally struggled to keep a straight face on cause suddenly all those nose smooches were rushing through you like you could all you could smell sniff feel think imagine miss was him his face in that zoomed up version rushing through you including the scent and feeeel of his daaaadi on your lips it was that much suddenly rushing in you.....

Now coming back home a lil high on the wine on the couch play this one sonh on loop and galti se fall asleep and there you were agaubib that very moment from Versova his face that close to yours his hair in your hand and that one point where you literally sniff your hand to feel that scent of his hair and actually wake up still sniffing your hand away...

This feeeeweeeeeeeel of today to just feel that feel slightest of feel that he does remember you whatever it was even for a second to this morning himcoming in your ultimate favblack to those moments through the day it's been one day........

One full Him highddddddddddaway kinda Youday it's been today...!

Saving it away after very very long time!!

Some days!!!

 Some days you just donno it's like it's in the air and it always happens max on a Sunday Youday like this one today!!!!!

Like right from the start this one night of mix himcomings in different versions and you were up as early as 5-6am just walking around the house with his music playing like a slow start to see bit inside there was this rush of him......THAT level of rush of him cause he was he felt that real him talking him arually talking to you that closeness of him his hands his skin the scent of him every bit of him felt that THAAAAT real like you actually met him it was thaaaaaat level real all of it all of him!!!!

It's that beautiful restlessness you wake up with that rush in you that hiiiiigh on him like you just couldn't handle it all rushing inside of you...it's that feeeeeeel same feeeeel of him standing from a distance and you are on this corner and just one look of him that rush in you that runnnnn in you to just runnnn to him and melt away kinda feel kinda rush this morning you wake up with...

It also had that same moment exact moemnt of you sitting down close to him like him on bed or something it was and you were sitting down on the floor space trying to reach out to him to hold him exact same moemnt from the Versova meet...

Like it was too many of him and that left toooo much rush in you like you were so high on him you couldn't sit stay calm stay in one place stand or sleep back in one place kinda rush......like how could he possibly be that close to you seconds back and now can't find him kinda vibe like you soooooooooooo baaaaaaadly wanted to touch hold feel him again that beautiful ache almost on your fingertips to touch him again in that very moment mixed with a whole Lotta rush to just hold him touch him feel him again........

Waking ups!!

 When you post a C the most LOOOVED alphabte of your life and the C notices it!!

Lil moments of absolute joy like this...

Anywhere you spot anything cloud a bark of a tree the moon a strange curve in the coffee anything at all that forms a C brings a smile on your face...cause he just rushed through you!!

It's things like these you can't possibly define or reason out the why's or the how's it just is...it just does something to you beyond words and logics...

Painting work on at the studio and this granite top against the wall just when you were bout to step out notice it and that instant HIM!!!!!!

Click a pic post the pic and the grass hopper notices the story although he has one proper girl gang going on on that account also why stopped seeing that spy account of his or more like spying on that spy account of his...

But some lil moments of Khushi when you've been missing him that level lately just for him to see it's like you still exist kinda vibe that he still somehow does remember you exist still...something's nai beyond logics!!!!!!

Absolutely BEYOND!!!!!!!!

This morning up early to work early and thus one smile on ayyyaaaa this one different sprakle in the eyes this one smile feels different the playlist feels different...one lil anything him absolutely anything him still does make you glow differently even years after...

HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Words!!

 Some words out of nowhere and this beautifully insync with the mood you already have been in last 2-3 days…

Sound of music...!

 THE one track that sums everything up bout your moments and memories with him at Opera it has HAS to be this one track moments in love and HOWEEEE!!!!!!

Like you intentionally make sure to rarely very rarely give this a listen and right now in this moemnt teary eyed goosebumps on the skin is exactly the reason why you avoid listening to this one mainly...

And tonight just felt the need to after a very long time, THIS feeeeeeeling that you are feeling right now eyes shut lights out this one track playing on loop now and you are back there in Opera in his car and him right there just before turning the car speakers out just so the lights go out that one stare of his that one moemnt of him looking you in the eye and that one smile that one moemnt before living the rush of love that one moment still this clear right now as you relive it now... to relive him to relive his details including his touch scent of him the waaaaaay his arms used to feel around you wrap you all with him any to every lil detail of him right now rushing through you!!!!!!!

HIM just HIM the sound the beat the soul the life and heart of your life I say...!

TBIS NIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!