Visual!!!!!

 The one THAT one thing your absolute LOOOOOOOVE!!!!!

To live him his details every lil detail bout him was like your ultimate drug...

The waaaaaaays it used to slowly transform you inside out to just live him list thing to every detail bout him absolute LOVE!!!!!!!

Like it starts from the eyes to visually live him to the way his sound of voice falls on your ear and slowly moves inside of you...like you shut your eyes for a bit to just hear him even with him on the call just bout to fall asleep or sleeping and the way him breathing on the phone used to make you feel...

It's that feeling charlie like you are not just in love with their presence or absence or their physical attributes but the way their entirety their complete existence absorbs you literally.......

That one aura over n around him even him talking to lucky or ringo now is absolute love to you!!!!!

That one place that one meet did give you another one of tjos most beautiful versions of him...

Like it's been on playing on loop every lil moemnt from Versova meet in your head as you struggle to get over that stranger in city feel this time.......

It just felt weird.....

And then there's that safe space iin your head and heart that sort of covers it away!!

It's one of those nights tonite the sound of his chuckle to the nods of his to that gentle grip of his arm around!!!!!!

This mind with this one song playing on loop!!!!!

Some sounds nai pure HIM all just HIM in everyway possible...!

Sounds & visuals!!

 It's that feeling sudden feeling realisation where you stand dhadaaaam bolke in someone's life...

Less than 5 hours in Bombay to see a place your future store if all goes well in Bombay kala ghoda!!!!

One meeting with the investor and the realtor there to see how to go about it and stuff and it had been raining that need to be at Versova but as the investor was along you couldn't somehow......in your head and heart that one feeling of anyway this is going to be home soon kinda vibe!!

Also that feeeeeel of suddenly a starnger there that one place that you loooooovethe most in life because it gave you the Versova memory of his the Versova version of him that has lasted and stayed with you all this while...

That day there that starnge feeling even though it was raining that weird wierd feel couldn't scream out and tell him you were there wanted to run to him so sooooooo bad......even as you were meeting back to back with meets that one cinstant thing on your mind to just somehow scream away and it reaches him somehow that you were there in Bombay in his Bombay!!!!!

It's a lot of money lot of planning but something's nai you are that sure of that one one place you just have to have to...

Coming back it's been super busy and hectic with going all strict right route of working on the brand with branding and marketing and stuff like learning the actual way of working this out instead of overworking yourself away.....

The first step was marketing content creation and the branding guy talks bout how important it is to create content by the designer themselves instead of just shoots like organic marketing and content creation to the store interior aesthetic and stuff....

Like it's been too much work and planning with brain literally over worked up just understanding the way of running a brand......it's a LOT !!!!!

Today finally somehow try your attempt after long and not comfortable with the photographer clicking the picture you cancel that and instead go back to the mirror thing...

Cover up the neck as much as you could but yours eyes glued on your tattoo that literally stands out the THE C...

Also something that catches enough attention from the clients enquiries as well......something's nai just that bit of extra special nai.......to another late evening back home post work and notice this MOSTTTTTTTTT loved red halo over him ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaa that runnnn to get your mom's phone and check it was bout his work space setup...

This loooooove for his work setup since back then early morning post bup as he wanted to see you first thing in the morning soon as he wakes up and you do from his back gate as he comes to open the gate t his room holds you post some moennts and sleeps away that adooooooorably holding you......as you try to move a lil he makes that same sound holds you closer asking you not to move away from him......

To one turn of his and you get off and sit on the chair a lil away from his bed near his desk and just live him away rubbing his face against the pillow looking gorgeous sleeping too........to just look around another script of something there with the name Ria on it so you dont touch that and just look around with that feeeeeeel of his hands on his work space including a pen too...

There's something that intimate to feel to live where the hands have been especially when it's a craft something they are so passionate bout to just feel it touch it live it absorb soak away in it...

Looking back at him slowly turns to your side of the bed and that sudden expression of his as he looks around and then notices you watching him and that beauuuuuutiful stare of his still sleepy and just nods slow in a way asking you to come close ........some moennts it's been YEARS charlie and yet like his face his expression his gorgeous sleeeoy eyed stare still this very clear....

That THAT one nodddddd of his!!!!!!!!

It was all things LOOOOOVE & MADNESS I SWEAR!!!!!

Bambaiiii!!!!!!

 Bombiiii bambaiiiiii!!!!!!

Some places!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This state of mind right nowwwwwweeeeee baaarish!!!!!!!

Visuals!!!!

 This one day today like the level of dislike and hatefor some days is peak level father's day being one of those...

And this one moment today with this weird feeling of the day today and to make things only worse is everybody wishing it all away on Instagram with posts al around and stay off it.....

For some wood work you had to head out and soon as you were at some lift of the building you just move forward and somebody from beside you says hey watch it and you just freeze there...

Close your eyes there you are there he is post some movie you just walking ahead or bout to enter lift or something and this guy comes too close to you almost bout to touch you or something and he holds you pulls you back to him still holding you the way he that adooooooorably screams at you saying dekke chal ne nai hota karely you couldn't see that big man walking literally into you as you were looking at him and walking ahead face eyes on Him instead...and him being all that mad at you like that was your MOSTTTTTTTTT loooooved and lived thing bout him... Cause that tone of his used to only come out when he was concerned bout you being all protective bout you or was commenting on something that dumb that you just did...

It's that feeeeel charlie when someone makes you feel that safe that cared for that protected like no matter where you are who you are surrounded by with its that one person beside you with you and you know you didn't have to care bout anybody else around......like no need to think or be cautious bout people or place around and to just know you are safe protected guarded....

Him was that place that safest zone of your life prolky the only time in your life you felt the MOST protected cared for...

His arms his presence beside with you the safest you've ever felt in your life...the MOST cared you've ever felt in life....the most feminine you've ever felt in your life literally!!!!!!

Like the father you never had never experienced the way he protected you the love you never knew the care you never felt the safest the most loved you've ever felt in Life...

In that moemnt today that watch it for somebody else not for you but the way that moment that sound holds you makes you live feel that very moment close your eyes and live him there instead was almost magical...cause you could literally hear the sound same sound of his voice in that very moment from that moment...

To just sometime back when you notice him updating his dp on WhatsApp to this previous beauuuuuutiful one of his but no daaadi.......

Him that face that smile it's this feeeeel this beauuuty of seen pictures that missing they come along with.....that feeling of visuals older pictures that you've missed him in ways with to visually live it again brings back the ways of missing him kinda vibe...

Visuals pictures this beauuuuuuty they hold like living breathing form of memories like you see it and you are literally reliving that very version of missing again reliving that very feeling very moment all over again...

A literal Youday again...!

A very literal one today!!

Sing miyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa the waaaaaaays sings to your heart away and howeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The start...!

 The start of this the start of charlie years back was all becaude you couldn't hold the missing him all in you and just had to get it out somewhere cause you couldn't tell him how much you love him miss him want to be with him and this somehow this very habit of writing it all out did become your safe space your lil hideout to write away everything HIM!!!!!

Missing him too much can't tell him write out feeling the loooove for him too much write out dream bout him write out relive a memory of his walking down some random street of him write out anything him slightest of him to rushest of him write out cause you couldn't tell him!!!!!

Lil did you know this one small habit day after day month after month now years will eventually become your solid space to write all out to get this missing out and also end up missing him all the more after writing out and still to just do...this beautiful need to read your mind out high on him missing him living him away with sounds places and visuals and only make it that much more beauuuuuutifully worse post wrijng it out...

Even now as one eye is almost shutting with deep sleep this very need to write this present state of mind and heart right now!!

It's been a very long and tiring day setting up the store from literally and manually working on the racks wit raw rustic wood with your own hands to finally liking what you just created it's been an almost good day as you stood there watching the vision come to life bit by bit...

To coming home very late gin litchi juice with tonssss of ice has become your ultimate fav most combo to chill with rhye playing working on some accents for corners wit sktehxes and notice this one movie title on Netflix new addition voicemail something.....u strictly very hardly strictly stay miles away from mush movies feely movies and tonight just this need to......and the waaaaaay it feels like a bit of your journey with charlie.......where sometimes some nights high on gin it for that very slightest moemnt has indeed felt like you were chatting away with him bout your day or something very random too...is also when you did knowingly decide to quit writing...

Cause it somehow was blurring away recently memories of him and you didn't want that you still want to feel this like right now mind is max sleepy and yet shutting your eyes in this very instant and there he is under your apartment close to his car standing there in his striped wire and blue shirt waving at you a flying kiss just before he gets in the car pouting his lips away as he blows the flying kiss with that one smileeeeeeee!!!!!

That one smile the absolute heart and soul of your life for life...

With his ringo account recently public again his red tee video as he says howleeee your heart every single time as you hear him say it hear him the sound of his voice that visual of him smiliiiiiiiiing that one magical smile of his......

He is a walking form of pure loooooooooove in chaddis I swear the love the heart the sound the life of your life I swear...

Like everytime you see a video of his there goes my heart in chaddis right from the very first time the loooove of your life in chaddis!!!!!!!

It's these lil things that makes your heart smile deeeep I say with Versova pinned away on his profile this very moment from the movie sexy chipmunk like this whole vibe of tonight even wrijfn away with one eye open right now.........

Some movies nai beyond logics though most some few bits were complete non logical but the main story line did bring the charlie along with this need to write this moment of magic today...

Just had to...

It's been one of those days toooootally him highd on him and howwwwweeeeeee!!!!!!

Singaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Running!!

 Some tracks right in the middle of working on rack designs and sketches at home with a glass of white wine in teh day for the first time cause it's that kinda lazy chilled out day after very long at home...

And yet working and this new artist find as you are in the middle of researching and sketching for custom designed racks first few sips first sound beat of the track makes you literally makes you close your eyes in that very moment...

There's him right there emerging from the clouds of smoke around his face amidst the smoke from Versova meet that first second of him giving you that mouth to mouth inhale of his spy beedi and as you move a lil away to look at him that state of mind flying high YOUR ultimate most loved thing human place face on this planet right there amidst the smoke that state that moment PURE LOVE AND ULTIMATE MAX PEAK OF BLISS I say!!!!!

Today this very moment righr there the first sound of this track by this artist and to feeeeeeeeeel him like this right now in this very moment ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa THIS HEART of yours right now!!!!!!!!!

Miyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa how only how oblyyyyyy you are being missed abhiiiii k abhiiiii if he only knew I swear!!!!!!!!

This moment this mind this heart this you right nowwwweeeeee!!!!!!!!

Youdays!!

 Some moments of happiness the red halo over him on a Youday hits different on many different levels I say!!!!!

Too many reasons for this widest smile possible all reasons leading to HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Waking ups like these when you somehow managed to live him even after the waking up too!!!!!!!!

Kittuuuuuu miyaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!

PURE POOOOOOOORA HEART & LOOOOOOOVE!!!!!!!!!