Yuhi!!!!

 There are these moennts lately happened earlier too in places random most and you picture him with youlike at some store browsing through groceries picture him with you beside you with you buying paint the other day picyurehim with you there buying bread this afternoon strangely there too picture him there with you in a chocolate brown shirt strangely along with the dress code too beige pants and brown shirt with his style of unbuttoned to a way down kinda style of his with sleeves folded just right till his elbow not an inch below not an inch above in crisp folds......

It's these random moennts places foods that strangely he comes along with you it's been happening a lot like those moments are your absolute peace cause it's been quite chaotic lately...

It's this feeeeeeeeeel charlie this realisation of a version of you you werebt cut out for......@like this is not what I pictured myself to be.......

There was this absolute delicate almost feminine version of you with him like he did bring out your most feminine version ever and lately with all the responsibilities and work stress it's the almost masculine side of you that has come out lately...that's strong or maybe pretending to be strong strict cause with that many men around work you just have to have a strict demeanour like you just can't be soft anymore...smile or be coy with your presence and being that strict constantly there's that side of that only comes alive in moennts like these!!!!!!

In your head basically with moments of him!!!!!

Like this need to dress like his karely with silver and bangles deep kajal hair half open as he used to love on you and then after studio back to workshop you take the bangles off you tie your hair in a pony and then at workshop with that work face on....

This beauuuuuuty of writing him like this as you are writing now this moment from the gym those first few initial days of feeling something more than just friend vibe for him and doing some arm weight and you stand to the side of that machine pulling that string of weight and him working on his arm set thing and sees you smiliiiiing away that beauuutifully there was just you and him and some guy in some other corner on the treadmill cause weight section was the opposite corner of the treadmill section......and he watches your pony swing in the air as you bend to the side and he comes to feels you pony in his hand and pulls out the hair tie off your hair and then jokingly tries to run away and then stands at the door and watches you just standing there no smile no laugh nothing.....as you try to walk towards him for the hair tie cause you weren't used to leaving your hair that way being long hair back then.....and the way he that beauuuuuutifully takes a step back as you get closer to him and once close to him the way he says wow I love your hair didn't know it's this long......

Like that was your first ever compliment of your life I say......and that too from a guy like the first guy first compliment of your life...and the waaaaay he chuckles away saying look at your face its red and you remember taking the hair tie and running to the changing room cause it all felt very magical very special like the first time you'd felt that way......and seeing your face turn that red was also another first for you!!

From where to whereeeeeee only it went!!!!!!

How I misssssssss that fellow I swear that THAT one face in the world for you!!!!!!!!

THAT ONE FACE!!!!!!!!!!!

Moments!!!!!

 Visuals VISUALS they play such a strong and huge part of your life…

Be it a visual from yearssssss back you see something and suddenly you are pulled away from the present moment and dropped at the same exact location you were at when you lived that moment for the first time ever…

Days back on youur way to the studio texting the manager something and at some jam look up and see this random guy walking out from the store wearing a tee that said your another one of those most looooved words of his psyyyychedelic!!!!

It wasn't same as his one but that very second that one strong feeeeeeewl that strongfffff rush of him through you close your eyes and there he was at his dd space opening the door for you and that face of his it doesn't hit you in that very moment......but that kid adoooooooorable kid face of his that he used to make like there was something he wanted you to notice see the waaaaaay he just holds the door and stands there with that one bighgh adooooorable smile on him and you just stand there adoooring him away just by the way he looks that beauuuuuutiful in that moment....and then tell him andar aaane deta ki idhar kadhe Rehna and he lets you in...

It was only much after do you realise he was wearing his gym tee from back then with you...and wanted you to notice and you don't that very day like all through that meet that wait in him that one adooooorable wait in him for you to notice it...

That day that very moment his ott music playing in your ears that moment of a random guy and the waaaaaay it literally sways you off and away to him with that strong rush.....

It was also the same day when later through the day he posts some story bout his collectibles of his dragon Ball fav !!!!!

It just does something nai charlie when you miss them that strongly from your deepest core and live some any random moemnt it just does something to you!!

Peace!!

 There are very fewest of things that brings you that calm that lil spark of joy n happiness and when that too goes out this weird feeeling all day today……

Like amidst all the stress and hectic routine that which you weren’t prepared for or intended to there are really very few things that makes you still feel that same calm n joy in your heart…waking up to living him first thing in the mornings still in that sleep haze that need that want to seee him the first thing in the morning…

Something’s nai!!!!!!!

Sundays!!

 This very day since how long donno feels felt always extra special missing him a lil extra loving him a lil extra it all feels a lil extra special…….and waking up from that level of him to not seeing him on WhatsApp yet again makes it all very ………

Not sure bout exact word feel to name…

This very feeling somethings nai can never ever get used to and take it to be just another thing!!

Flashback!!

 One flashback morning it's been right from the very start of the day today...

On some days you can just feeeeeeeeeel it in the air only this one feeeeeel of Him!!!!!!

Like you miss him on days everyday then there are days like this one since the waking up you are literally breathing him in... It just feels different lilst of moennts from corners of your mind rushing through you!!

Kinda start...!

Visual!!!!!

 The one THAT one thing your absolute LOOOOOOOVE!!!!!

To live him his details every lil detail bout him was like your ultimate drug...

The waaaaaaays it used to slowly transform you inside out to just live him list thing to every detail bout him absolute LOVE!!!!!!!

Like it starts from the eyes to visually live him to the way his sound of voice falls on your ear and slowly moves inside of you...like you shut your eyes for a bit to just hear him even with him on the call just bout to fall asleep or sleeping and the way him breathing on the phone used to make you feel...

It's that feeling charlie like you are not just in love with their presence or absence or their physical attributes but the way their entirety their complete existence absorbs you literally.......

That one aura over n around him even him talking to lucky or ringo now is absolute love to you!!!!!

That one place that one meet did give you another one of tjos most beautiful versions of him...

Like it's been on playing on loop every lil moemnt from Versova meet in your head as you struggle to get over that stranger in city feel this time.......

It just felt weird.....

And then there's that safe space iin your head and heart that sort of covers it away!!

It's one of those nights tonite the sound of his chuckle to the nods of his to that gentle grip of his arm around!!!!!!

This mind with this one song playing on loop!!!!!

Some sounds nai pure HIM all just HIM in everyway possible...!

Sounds & visuals!!

 It's that feeling sudden feeling realisation where you stand dhadaaaam bolke in someone's life...

Less than 5 hours in Bombay to see a place your future store if all goes well in Bombay kala ghoda!!!!

One meeting with the investor and the realtor there to see how to go about it and stuff and it had been raining that need to be at Versova but as the investor was along you couldn't somehow......in your head and heart that one feeling of anyway this is going to be home soon kinda vibe!!

Also that feeeeeel of suddenly a starnger there that one place that you loooooovethe most in life because it gave you the Versova memory of his the Versova version of him that has lasted and stayed with you all this while...

That day there that starnge feeling even though it was raining that weird wierd feel couldn't scream out and tell him you were there wanted to run to him so sooooooo bad......even as you were meeting back to back with meets that one cinstant thing on your mind to just somehow scream away and it reaches him somehow that you were there in Bombay in his Bombay!!!!!

It's a lot of money lot of planning but something's nai you are that sure of that one one place you just have to have to...

Coming back it's been super busy and hectic with going all strict right route of working on the brand with branding and marketing and stuff like learning the actual way of working this out instead of overworking yourself away.....

The first step was marketing content creation and the branding guy talks bout how important it is to create content by the designer themselves instead of just shoots like organic marketing and content creation to the store interior aesthetic and stuff....

Like it's been too much work and planning with brain literally over worked up just understanding the way of running a brand......it's a LOT !!!!!

Today finally somehow try your attempt after long and not comfortable with the photographer clicking the picture you cancel that and instead go back to the mirror thing...

Cover up the neck as much as you could but yours eyes glued on your tattoo that literally stands out the THE C...

Also something that catches enough attention from the clients enquiries as well......something's nai just that bit of extra special nai.......to another late evening back home post work and notice this MOSTTTTTTTTT loved red halo over him ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaa that runnnn to get your mom's phone and check it was bout his work space setup...

This loooooove for his work setup since back then early morning post bup as he wanted to see you first thing in the morning soon as he wakes up and you do from his back gate as he comes to open the gate t his room holds you post some moennts and sleeps away that adooooooorably holding you......as you try to move a lil he makes that same sound holds you closer asking you not to move away from him......

To one turn of his and you get off and sit on the chair a lil away from his bed near his desk and just live him away rubbing his face against the pillow looking gorgeous sleeping too........to just look around another script of something there with the name Ria on it so you dont touch that and just look around with that feeeeeeel of his hands on his work space including a pen too...

There's something that intimate to feel to live where the hands have been especially when it's a craft something they are so passionate bout to just feel it touch it live it absorb soak away in it...

Looking back at him slowly turns to your side of the bed and that sudden expression of his as he looks around and then notices you watching him and that beauuuuuutiful stare of his still sleepy and just nods slow in a way asking you to come close ........some moennts it's been YEARS charlie and yet like his face his expression his gorgeous sleeeoy eyed stare still this very clear....

That THAT one nodddddd of his!!!!!!!!

It was all things LOOOOOVE & MADNESS I SWEAR!!!!!