It just does things and ever since then can’t think straight I say!!!!!
Waking up with your coffee now looking out shutting your eyes for a bit and him again this very moment some visuals nai stringggggggggg your heart and soul away and HOWWWWEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!
Some visuals nai brings back a zillion more moments!!!!
To see before the screen light in that story of his after YEARS tho it was some Skype call but just him editing and yet the way the screen light lights up his face in that tone him in a navy no daaadi and yet all things LOOOOVE!!!!!!!
The way that one visual transformed this mind of yours in an instant a zillion memories from those Skype calls just living him adooooooring him falling in love all over again every single time to finding these beauties lately on your mail…Skype call screenshots that you’d mailed him years back then with him doing these smoke rings in the pictures just cause the way it amazes you away and makes you happy..
Seeing the same after years same same feeeeeeeel I say him and the things he does AMAZED as always…
Absolute fan girl I say!!!!!!!!!!!!!
For life…!
From lunch being chikudkayi at work that brings back all him from that late lunch at his dd space to evening Bombay wada pav cause you lived him...
It's only when you live such moments do you realise how much how very very much his presence makes you happy and what level!!
Even be it his sideprofile like even that slightest of his presence too how truly inside happy outside happy it did make you in that very second...
Ii t was before lunch or after something this most loved red Hallo over him and the second you check itwas him editing glimpse ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaa that level of khushi too see him even his side profile like you really can't write out how much it made you absolutely happiest I say!!!!!
There's this strange fascination of living his work space too be it back then his writing space on the floor with sheets of script or today just to see him at work even writing out now thisbig wideeeeee smile on I say!!!!!
Singaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa how only you were missed today...!
Like howwweeeeeeeeeeee only!!!!!!
This was definitely the most strangely beauuuuuutiful experiences of a visual and sound of music blended together into a moemnt you've ever had recently...
Sunday's are all him there's missing him every single second of your every day ever since him and his absence from your life...but sundays hit differently donno how or why they just do...
Missing him on a Sunday is another story altogether!!
Even now it's that time of the night watching Lincoln new season with this music playing after his work story of Don music this comes as a youtubemagjc the song play through time and this need to close your eyes...
Just on valentine's day it was or days before something in his car parked in your ghar ki Galli soon as you get in he pulls your face closer to chummi your eyes shut again and the way he pulls back again after that wait him still looking at you this one visual his face that close to your looking you in the eye he looks like he was laughing all that while and suddenly just stops and looks you in the eye tellimguou how intensely your close your eyes living his presence that fully... his presence meaning his chummi!!
And then points out to the street somebody standing there or some uncle in the balcony it was bout watching so he couldn't and you move with that feeeeeel of missing kissing him in that moemnt...cause it was that beautiful shift of him missing you that bad that first thing he wanted to chummi you soon as you get in to that moment of your missing livingthqt moemnt of him looking you in the eye no word no movement nothing at all just that beauuutiful silence him screaming a zillion things away without any movement or words just by looking you in the eye the way he was...
This sound of music from today to that visual of living that beauuuuty of him from that very moment his eyes his facial expression not smiling nothing and yet that beautifully all things LOVE...
Moves the car a lil ahead just checks you out smiling away keeps looking Galli after Galli and some sharp turn in some other Galli stops by and kisses you away...
That one line in between as he does you and your face of missing, he could just that beauuutifully read away your every feel thought wonder rushing through you without you ever having to tell him anything...
He just always would could even thinking bout it now years after it always ALWAYS amazes you...
How beautifully he just like that could...!
Some sounds nai just does something to your soul in inexplicable ways...you can't reason it out why it had to be just that one moment of all moemnts lived with him why it had to be this track thats not even his music...
Ever since the start of the year there have been a zillion moments where it felt like you were back in 2009 like you wer literally living a day a date from that very MOST loved year of your life also why you add his opera pic of yours crop it best and make it your dp...just so he doesn't realise it's the same one incase if he sees by any slightest chance bhi...
To this very night the track on loop mind on loop playing those list moments his car light blinking to that night of your first psy beedi experience to him bringing the Biryani for you and just living you away...
Some.nights nai feel different just very very different!!!!!!
Tonight your heart your mind your soul feels different andar se donno why or how but this very feeeel right now...
With THIE much kissing rushing yjroufn you right now now!!!!!!!
Sing miyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa you'll always be missed the most loved the most I say!!!!!!!
Nothing but the best to the best ever human ever to exist on the wave of this planet I say!!!!!!!
The one and only human that just simply walked into your life and filled every blood cell in you with nothing but whole Lotta looooooooove the kinda love that doesn't change with time or doesn't change with the change itself...
That just stays queitly stays 0 expectations I say!!!!!
To think of it now now the hitchki hitting you feel to think of it now tyhse few times him messaging much after 2018 him asking what you even want from me how do you answer a question like that one charlie like how...
That too from a person who being the only one you've ever loved in your life what do you even say to that you can't not want one something one part of theirs like what do you want from me it's not just the part just the heart just that one spedicfic thing from something as simple as breathing him to just wake up to smelling their presence even much after the wakingupto too to just living him walking across the road for something to just seeing them wave back at some security guy to just living them having a conversation with some random person and it still makes your heart live that moemnt there in corner that man right there standing talking is all your heart ever wished loved lived for in life...like it makes your heart sigh that feeeeeeling I LOVE him man not when he does something very extraordinary or something very mushy towards you...just their simple existence makes you feel that feeling of falling soaking in love with them all over again doing thw the random.most thing is when you truly love them as a whole...and not just some part of theirs that you derive something out of.....it's just that most selfless form of love that you feel intensely passionately for them doing the most basic thing that still makes your heart skio a beat seatimes or seatimes makes it beat faster in a rush...
Even in those moments of him asking that question it makes you wonder in that moemnt it's not one something that I want from you that it's this or that you want that one person on the whole be it them in their good days best days and most importantly on their worst days you want them too you want to love that too live that too...like it's just not this that you want them for you want them on the whole with their everything and even their nothing's...
And the mind the night the mood feels more different now...!
Singaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!
Magic in a Human Form, the mosttttttt beauuuuuutiful kind I swear!!!!!!!!!
Just days back when you think you saw Rohit his cousin and as you get off the car and walking towards the store cafe his cousin checking you out and you realise ayyaaaaa it's his cousin like you just stand there and recall playing with rohit n his sister around the house running as the cousin stops for a sec and calls you vadina vadina.....back then you didn't know what it meant it was only much layer do you realise the meaning of it...
That day to just notice the kid all grown up you suddenly realised how many years have passed by like some moments nai it hits youhard and that day that moment was it all and more and you just live him all in that one second and nod away to the cousin in your head thinking kid if you only knew like the cousin doesn't realise or recognise you but that one strong feeeeeeeel and him high you come home to...
Like that one visual takes you back to all those moments when dropping you back home along with his sister him in Bangalore the kid would actually get down and come along with you till the gate to drop you all the way you keep saying it's fine it's fine and the way the kid would say nai kittu bhayya bole to take care of you in his absence...
Something's nai even as you write now this very feeeeeeeeeeeeeeel of him right now!!!!!!
Like you've been avoiding wrijting all this missing out since his priority post his video post with ringo cuddling away like it's those versions of him that you've lived loooooooooved the mpstest make you miss him the mostest too!!!!!
It always somehow takes you back to the gate of his house standing there with him just bout leaving inhis car his tail light blinking as he looks at you through the side rear view like just stops for that while that feeeeeeeeeeeeeeel nai to hold him right there knowing somehow strangely that gut feeling knowing it could be the last time then...
To when he comes that close to your ear to whisper I don't want to but have to like even when he says that you wanted to just kiss him away in that very moment like it did feeeeel he was walking away and you just wanted to make the most of his presence for yhsow few seconds more for a lil while longer...
Even now working this one his lucky track playing mind him highd still hichki doesn't hit today aaaaj it's been all him so you take the day off and work on the pending designs......
It did change aot of plans tho like you try to hold dissolve your mind into all work but there is music then there is MUSIC that woooooosh bolke brings him along kaiseeeee bhi!!!!!!!
This weird feeling and also when the heart always always has only wished nothing but the best for him always...
This story of his of a wedding set up and this feel could be his ever since the waking up...soon as you see the story that first reaction was strangely smile away and wish only the best for him...him nai charlie deserves nothing but the best of everything in the world his heart wishes for, always!!!!!!!
That's how pure soul of a human he is....love LOVE nothing but the most beauuuuuutiful form of LOVE in a human form HIM...
