October!!!!!
Been suchaaaaa moody whole of a month from the very start itself…
This time felt more painful actually!!!!
It’s that feeling maybe of the reality finally hitting you and howeee!!!!
Which most of the time you try your best to not let your mind wander any closer…this time right from day 1 missing hit a lil more deep to finalllllllu seeeing him on his birthday and ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa this heart of yours on a constant deeeeep diveee mode ever since then…
Every bit of him rushing through you since, like you wake up from him to him through the day it’s been very hectic work wise but you just couldn’t think straight through it all and only made it all more messier work wise cause your head was just not in the present anymore…
Like it’s been on constant almost flight mode like you are not in the present day present year present decade anymore since seeing him…the first visual of him with face down to the first time hearing the sound of his voice saying karely from chipkali it’s every bit small to big ones of him rushing through you since…….
To the last few these signs this one Škoda around one galli to your workshop same exact tone of blue to this one car in basement in the studio with number 2772 any twisty number close to his back then 2727 becomes his number to this new habit of going in the car in the basement in the late evenings and playing his music and picturing him with you there…
It’s like your hideout moment when the missing gets way too much visible across your face like you go there stay there for a bit picturing him with you in the seat beside stay there feel it for the moment cry a lil sometimes and come back home…..to these sudden rains and the sky on 27th becomes too toooo special!!!!
To the Diwali that one waiiiiit in you to see something from him cause it just hurt a lil more that you just did the Pooja to the bowl of Gulaab jamuns him on your lap feeding him away some memories his fav from Diwali…
To today this sudden disappearance of his from the himcoming this morning again had you feeling all weird bout it to this one new track find pure fuel to the mood and howwweeeeee I swear!!!
Hours later some habits checking for some loved red halo over him or some work update of his and this repost of his…
Bout Marredpally and johns church near the gym from then and ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa this one jump your heart feels on the inside it felt strangely beautiful it may not even be the same reason just random history cause he loved topics like those back then on documentary he used to recommend you to watch….u even google for recent picture of gym and there it was……but that one post to you meant him being in the same head space place wise for any reason be it just as you were then being there…one evening post gym he was waiting for mango and there was too much crowd outside the gym so he takes the lane beside the same johns church pretty quiet there and plays his lucky ali music there and asks you to lay your head over his lap and just holds you away……
Few calls from mango he misses and just wanted to stay that way saying I missed holding you like this since morning today……just few hours of not holding you it’s this thing bout some places they bring out the core memory from that very place cause even then it was very special from the gym to being feeling safest in the world surrounded by all him…..that feeeeeling late in the evening lucky ali sound playing him wanting to live that moment with you and in your head eyes closed that one feeeeeeeeeling stayed with you…
Even that day passing by just watching the church to the lane with trees there that one evening the scent of him the sound of that beauuuutiful sigh of him holding you away…
Even writing it now…!
That one repost of maredpally gym being in the same place it was waaaaaaaaaaay too many memories rush again…
And for him to post that in that moment meant the world like that one missing him that baaaaad that day around the very same place felt somehow complete like a moment strangely lived together as crazy as that sounds…
It just did, somehowee…!
