Thursday 2 May 2019

Happiness, love...

even if be it means to keep you off him just sooo he is happy is smthing that youve always felt this bout....

cause him to smilee is how the start of it all was bout.......

that one wait in you every day maybe today you might see him smile like that one lostness on his face was smthing that troubled you the most.... like you yourself were fcaing those struggling days of not being sure bout that step you were botu to take or were made to take actually......

and then there was him every day there and that one smthing in you everytime you saw him or were looked at by him.... like that one wish one hope of seeing him smile.....

like that lostness on him was smthing that was becoming yours already.... like that need to do smthing just so he smiles was always there.....

and when it wasnt even love then and him being happy or smiling to say the least was your most waited or priority in a way, then today when you love him without adding too much cause its just not tooo much its much more than the muchest of all the muches.....

how can you not wish that same for him....

and you choose to keep you off more than you already were....

like deciding to focus more on yourself.....

gettng out n away to somewhere.... maybe like too many plans and yet mind with that weird thing on its own.....

and today as you take the day off and decide to keep the fone off and away and just be in your room this one song....

as you had his mix playlist on and this one name on the side it was from one of the movies you loved for his reasons train song....

its one of those songs that talks bout coming that far of what youve experienced in life... and to take the life head on and keep moving...

whoo hotaa nai charlie some state of mind you are in and its that fulllll push of the song like basss ab thooo going to find my way work and change myself the way you are now.....

bass ab change kar detiii apne aap ku walii feeeeeling !!!!!!!!!!

through the day cleaning the car away cleaning the house away with his music playing loud through the house as you were all by yourself today.... that one sec you come down to write and that weird feeeeling cause youve now goy used to writing at this hour.....

this beauty of this hour....

again love for the nites again did come from him too....

lights out his music playing its just you away frm everything else and closer to his music and all things him rushing through you.....

when not writing its sketching away or even working and reading and yet that feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel of him with every song that plays.....

there is that beauuuuuuuuuuty of the nites like you know you just can beee awaay and out from everything else.....

like you sort of feeel more relive the day and feeeeel him all the more through the moments lived....

its like it all replays through you as relive them and feeeeeel him all the more as you relive the day....

and one moment connects with the other..... smthing bout the nites..... and that sudden rush of misseeeeeing pulling away all the more heading out for a walk and come back feeeeeeeeeeeeeling him all the more.......


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