THE opera!!!!!

 To write or not to write initial dilemma!!!!!

Things like these, but today it's just that need to get it out of you cause evr since that one word concent the subject of the film and the way it hits you on another level!!!!!

Right from the start the way it never was bout the rush that distance always there andbyet you letting you feel away THAT much of his love for you!!!!! 

Only at opera the initial moment when you first experience that fear after that many years that fear of touch fear of intimacy that's when he stops and asks you what's wrong as you start to cry and he just holds you away tightest he ever did that evening it's okay it's okay it's me it's me like he did sense it already without you even saying a word....the way he just holds you away and keeps repeating it's me am right here it's okay it's fine now it's me.....tell me when you want to if you want to it's just me!!!!!

Still holding you makes you lay your head over his lap and let's you just be and you get off again hold him again and that's when you tell him bout it not a word not a question nothing from him.....just that silence holding you tighter with every detail as you cry out and tell him the waaaaaay he was there with you in that moemnt in that feeel it was like going back to your childhood post that moemnt and sharing it with him what you had to go through his reaction post that his face suddenly changes where is he now says something gets off the car for a bit gets back in again holds you again and says it again it's okay am here now you are safe you will always be safe form now on!!!!!

And THAT was just the start of the most beautiful journey of his way of love right from that moment at opera to the many meets after this one day this one moemnt this one Him that you felt experienced lived evry bit of you never felt that way before and it was just the start of it, having lived that HIM kaise charlie how could you even have that space have that feeeeel shared with somebody else!!!!!

It just never happened again it just never felt that way itvwas something else even reliving it as you write now THIS feeeeeeel of that much him that it's filling you up with is beyond words!!!!!!!!