Moments!!!!

 This is exactly what and how you were feeling away last night!!

At a friends friend partner birthday thing just cause you designed the outfit custom for her she wanted you to be there for her…..

Something bout rooftop places this mush late at nights where the lights twinkling around and suddenly there’s no sound what so ever cause he just rushed through you…..where the sound around people around disappear and all you can feeeel right now is Him!!!!!

Cause amidst pretending to talk around there’s this guy just walks past by and this rush in you cause he was wearing a black shirt shoulders just like him walks just like him hands in the pocket talking to somebody over the fone sounds also like him and the waaaaaay like magnet you get pulled drawn towards just to get a glimpse of him…

Walk all across the lobby maintaining distance again just so he doesn’t notice you behind him and as he reached the elevator turns around and it wasn’t him……elevator doors closes you still standing there with that feeeeeel of what you thought THAT close……

The same guy comes up again asking if you were okay or wanted to get in the lift and you just walk away…..

This need to get away cause it’s that realisation of some moments that hits you different charlie that few seconds of a moment was all and more of that!!!!!!

It’s like he has gone beyond reach like you can’t reach him can’t touch him for real can’t see him for real like for him you don’t even exist anymore and this version of his dreams comes along that makes you believe it’s you all that he wants and needs cause both need and want are two completely different things……

You may need a zillion things in life but the most important thing in life is what is it that you really want in life…!

Reliving moments of his journey right from the start with you he always wanted you in his life and needed too like want he was that sure of!!!!!

Now is a completely different thing altogether!!!!!

It’s like suddenly this wave of reality hits you and sways you along when you really realise how strongly he had been wanting to keep you off for the longest time be it meeting you talking to you or the least is your presence even on his phone…….

It’s like his dreams loving you the most and this reality when it hits you shows you otherwise how bad he has all this while kept you off him like the other day there was this random conversation of blocks that you were part of without even wanting to be of……

Cause the manager one of your regular clients over coffee we’re having a talk about it and you were waiting for the model to come over to discuss last bits…..

And they talk bout how much of there’s this other word for hate that you can’t recall now must you have for somebody to block them like there were grateful for the app to keep the annoyance off their life and this feeeeeeeel that was running through you cause you alone know what and how it feels like really feels like being that to this now…

To the way they were talking bout it like in that moment it felt like it’s you in his life that he must be feeling that way to keep you off like this……

To this very moment chasing strangers away only to live that moment of not finding it to be him and that feeeel of suddenly being lost cause that’s how badly you just wanted to see him as it’s been that many years having seen him for real….

Apart from the zillion things that your heart yearns for sometimes it’s just to see him live his details live his presence away like sometime back meant everything to you and then to see it not be him felt something else!!!!

Like right now with this music playing it’s like it’s just you there’s no sound no other visual of people around just this sudden calm breathing in n out hoping this feeeel settles soonest possible!!!!!!!