Himcomings!!

 When he comes like this THIS it’s this absolute beauuuutofully mad state of mind restless helpless and this rushhhhhh ever since that moment!!!!!!

Like writing writing that need to just live him feel him with the sound and in that mode you fall asleep again over the couch!!

To that sudden change in the way you were breathing cause it was cold last night and suddenly the warmth and you knew it’s him and before you even sense him smell his presence away that rush of him like that strong feel over your legs and as you turn slow holding your face and you just had to open your eyes like in that state you think you are not asleep like it’s the awake wali feel…….cause that’s how real the touch felt and you open your eyes there he was over you black shirt again that grogeousllllllllly sexy sleeeeepy look of his hair all messy with lil daaadi but his eyes charlie that one straight looking you in the eye and you actually scream away like you used to when seeing his presence for long like he always knew soon as you get in the car he would take it aside saying ruk tu  aur Tera excitement ek second and then close his ears with his hands and nod giving you a go…..

And you have that same feeeeeel last night cause it was a badddddddddddd missing yesterday too and when he comes in that shirt looking every bit of eatmeuppp vibes shirt full open this time like it was just show you he was wearing the same black shirt naaam ke liye and you scream ayyaaaaaaaaaa and the waaaaay still in your scream he rushes to chummi you away and HOW!!!!!!!!

Maybe cause he knew few seconds more you would wake up with your own scream and that rushhhhhhhh of him in the waaaay he chummis you holding you in a position in a way that was!!!!!!!!  WAS!!!!!!!!!

Mom comes over waking you up cause she heard you scream asking you were ok and all you kept saying was why wake me up why did you wake me up…..

Play tracks again with that wait and rush to fall asleep again!!!!!

With that waittttt haaan tho continue karke but you keep turning waiting turning and more waiting and this one turn and he instead pulls you to the other side of you roughly and the waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay that one chummmmi of his felt like he was actually waiting for you to come back and continued right from where he had left…

It was surreal it was magic charlie like even writing now reliving that moment reliving that rush of him like the second time you didn’t even get a chance to look at him he was in that rush of waiting for you to moments later moment after moment and that feeeeeel like suddenly filling away all of his absences away with THAT much of him in you…!

To this morning you wake up and that feeeel of you not wanting to do the day anymore and that neeeeeeed to go back to sleep and find him again of another round!!!!!!!! 

Some waking ups like you just can’t CANT get over the waaaaaaaaaay waaaaaaaaaaaaaaays it made you He made you feel!!!!!!!

This heart mind body soul right now!!

The very first thing you wanted to rush to was a workout and now waiting for the electricity to be restored looking at the treadmill!!

THIS mind aaaaj tho!!!!!!!!

That THAT sexyyyyyyily gorgeous HOW!!!!!!!!

Sounds!!!!!

 This very comment today saying how quiet you are as a person and that very same thing with him like you’ve known this group for sometime now and there was him right from the very first time as you joke wit him over the stairs…..the way he immediately mentions in the middle of the topic you may not be this soft as a person and you don’t get it then….and you ask him what he meant and the way he says again like you appear quiet and shy types but soon you won’t be I know for sure……it was only after at one time in opera he stops you amidst rush of a moennt and he starts off saying do you remember on the stairs I told you you are not the soft types and I did tell you you’ll know it soon bout yourself…..this is the you I was talking bout!!!!!

It did come out with him and stayed with him exactly that way!!!!!!

Like a part of you that he already knew even before you lived it experienced it yourself he knew that bout you!!

Of all the memories this one sound brings this very specific one along!!

Again there’s that beauty charlie of someone you love alone knows some side of you is aware of it like nobody else is like has seen you experienced you in a way nobody ever knew or would!!!!

This mind right now going where to where again when some sounds intentionally do this to you…!

Breathing!!!!!

 Literally breathing him away today!!!!

It was a very late and intensity one workout so you immediately rush for the shower  cause that’s how badly hungry you were!!!!!

And in the shower that state of mind still feeling him away those moves and this one track playing in shower like it’s your usual habit again some specific tracks as per the mood of the day or of the workout that day play that one song and head to the shower……and this sudden rush over the nape of your neck like it wasn’t the water and the waaaay you could smell him in your waking state that strongly also this very same reason is this habit of yours…..choosing fragrances lien you take a spray close your eyes and live that feel of the scent away and some scents actually bring the scent of him along like the recent one being goddess by Burberry it brings him along and also was the reason it did become your recent most favourite one….that scent of his from the drive that night this scent brings him along like you staying a lil away cause it was a post bup meet and thinking he would get annoyed if you go closer and he instead in ishaara asks you to come over his shoulder and as you fataaaak se that very first habit of yours with him to smell him and this one fragrance brings that smell of him how you donnoooo it just does….everytime you use it now!!!!!

Sooooo yeaaaaaaah back to the shower that sudden feel of him over to that scent of him and these slow nibbles over and around your one right ear and that slow whisper of his voice again n again in that deep sexy tone of his when in opera he used to call you on that tone of his voice……

Like it was that beauuuutofully maddening how were you able to feeeel him that way when you were very much awake and under water so wide awake even writing it now these goosebumps all over cause his orsence today was THAT STRONG!!!!!!!!

Vibe!!!!!

 To coming back home and your mom was back where ideally you should be like sitting with her asking bout the trip and stuff and instead you just go hug her saying a hi and all and tell her you’ll finish a quick workout and come out and rush to your room……

Like that’s how urgently you wanted to feeel him away in your waking state like it’s become aisa charlie now tho ki agar buss chale you could workout the entire day or do the movement almost all day long just so you could live him feel him live his touch away sense him breathe along with his sound of breaths as you move through…

Cause that’s how he did come today with this track playing and you were working on this side plank movement like doing things that you could avoid using your palm over cause of the bruise and this new side plank movement with arm over the bed and as you bend that strong feeeeeeel of him over your waist from behind eyes still closed and the waaaaay it changes away everything on the inside the pace of your heart beat and breathes from slow soft breathing to this sudden rush……..and you still go on with the moves as you do the other one laying over with side bend and that feeeeel of him all over your arm as you move through to these soft nibbles again but for the first time not just over the neck…

Like how even now writing it out it’s absolute madness I know but how can you possibly feeeeeeel him this way in your waking state is something you just can’t make any sense of……cause this is exactly how strongly you feeeeeel him in these movements like with you breathing through moving through touching you away feeling you away to this one time you almost guess even heard him call you cookie slow sexy whisper as you stretch your neck to spine away the final one…..

It’s this beauuuuuuutofully slowly softly initially to this sudden rush as you move to feeeel him away during those movements also made you add few new movements learn more bout inversions that’s supposed to make you better as learning bout your core and breathing and flexibility but the way it’s become all bout feeeeling him away living him away move with you and everytime you finish a session this one wish to live him that way move with him that way for real!!!!!

And now right after you write it out this sudden realisation of something’s!!!!!!!

HIM!!!!!

 Get out of there finally somehow and that smile that rush of him rush for him just doesn’t would t go I say!!!!!

Like from there on to your way home ask the driver to take the longer route home……

The rear view stares with him the getting his car done and he wouldn’t take his eyes off you across the garage where you had to show him in ishaara the mechanic asking for something to him and he was that lost in you and this one time you were actually seeing what the mechanic was doing and he messages you saying don’t look away and that sudden rush in you just by reading his text and you look up and the waaaaaay he still was looking at you…to those standing in the que and he still would be looking at you as you show the other girls or even back in the gym just as friends you trying to show him the hot bong female at the gym saying he should go talk to her instead he would still be with you still be looking at you across the gym…

It wasn’t bout how you looked or what you looked like it was the way he loved you wanted to love you…

It’s not something wrong to look at someone else who could be prettier sexier but it’s the moments that counts as she was talking bout today cause her fiancé mentioned that he was coming over to see her but he was busy seeing everybody else than just her……..

And you alone in that room knew what it meant or how it felt like to lived that way to be loved that way…

It was a real long way home mood wise like literally living him away shuru se living his love for you away right from the very start……to the moments at opera even before coming over to your side of the car the waaaay he would always take that seconds of time to just be a lil away and look at you first live that rush for him rushing through you smiling away to when for not one of those reasons with his family out the way he would just look at you and smile as you ask him in ishaara what was it and he would just nod away that beauuuutifullu!!!!!

Something’s you write now and thus feeeeeeel again now!!!!!!!

HIM!!!!!!

 It’s not like you are the most beautiful one but it’s the love charlie it’s the way you love someone that makes all the difference….

Back then too like he would talk a zillion things away just by looking at you in a room full of people there was this one time first time you go out with his dad and his sister and your sister and you for dinner……him sitting opposite with his sister and dad and his sister comments over some girl passing by saying how pretty she was or something it was and him looking at you saying yeah she is very!!

Like in that moment you too watching the other girl wit his sister and turn look at him him looking you in the eye with that one smile and says it again……uncle even comments something over it like saying he has gone after him kinda thing cause uncle too was very fond of his mom something in same lines!!!!!

Today the second they mention that all those times of him watching you that way at his cousins place in Kachiguda on Sankranthi over the terrace them playing you with his sister and aunts around him still lost in you as he keeps messaging you beech beech mein and that one constant stare it’s that khushi charlie it’s the way he loved you…like it wasn’t something in him that loved you it was all of him the way he loved you!!

That one line does it for you like you were that happy in that moment and at the same time wondering where did he go kinda vibe!!

Like you know one of those moments when you are that full of sudden something and also empty too!!!!!!

And you were done there like beyond that you just needed to be on your own to sort of live that feeeel of him away from everything else!!!!

Like that need to just be with him on your mind…!

HIM!!!!!!

 It’s this thing bout conversations charlie and people watching like you used to with him and how both of you loved doing that like to know what’s on others mind and how they move along when around people…

Today this friend whose getting married and Lavanya’s friend plans out this bridal thing at Hyatt and wity games and stuff and this sudden switch to relationship conversation which you did mention her beforehand not to mention or start any conversation what so ever related to yours……and they were causally talking bout relationships broken marriages lately with one of them heading towards a divorce soon and how it doesn’t last aaj kal…

Like in the middle of conversation and ther was you sitting out watching sunset listening to his music and pretending to work on your phone as you you keep switching between tracks……and this one couple walking out and the guy over his phone and the girl taking selfies akele…

To this other moment when her fiancé comes over for a brief few mins and he talks to jokes with all the others except for her…like you could see it on her face how furious she totally got over that with the unnecessary trying too hard kind of comic thing the guy was trying too hard to put and the others actually enjoying it…

And you finally head out for a walk instead with that need to be on your own for a bit…….looking at the property around it’s not like it used to be before like you didn’t like the vibe now…

After a bit head back in again the guy leaves and it was then again back with the same topic this time the change was the addition of the fiancé too now…..like youbtotallly were expecting that going by her reaction over the entire thing…

And she mentions bout how finding a guy who had eyes just for her in a room full of people is something that doesn’t exist anymore…and that very same second you feeeeeel that rush for him like it was that instant the only line that you actually managed to react over the entire conversation they were at and the way she comments saying look at her face it’s red smiling like they hadn’t seen before on you and immediately ask away who is the guy!!!!!

Some questions moments you just donnoooo how they could be both in that exact same ratio beautiful and ironic too at once!!

Some moments!!!!!

 Can’t define can’t reason out how some moments can make you feel be it even after the moennt you feel it to be your mind but to strongly feel something away like who bhi in your waking state is beyond everything else!!!!!

It’s for moments like these you live for cause the waaaaaaay they bring him along where every lilst part of you longs for every bit of him in every and any way possible!!!!!

And then to feeeeeel him away like THIS is pure magic!!

Like that’s all you know and understand…

First to the moments through the moves also why you wait and love your workouts lately and that much…

That ki after a day out with multiple work things and then showing up for a bit for friends bridal thing and come back home to mom back……and yet like before anything else you rush to your room like first it had to be feeling him away specially with this mornjngs dream…

And then to feeeewwwweel him like this this mind this you right now even writing it out right now like there’s that rush to write it all out and also knowing you can’t obviously out out!!

This beauuuuuuty the way to feeeel his presence that way also brings also the vibe of back then how his presence actually used to feel like what it was like to live him for real breathe him feel him touch him for real!!!!!!

THIS himhighhhhhhh state of mind right now!!

First the happyhimhigh post workout selfie is what you think of these now cause earlier it used to be just workout done proud feel selfie and now it’s become this beauuutoful way to live and feeel him away in your waking state and how!!!

Moments!!!!!!!

 It was a super pumped work out and this rush to eat dinner quick you run for the shower instead of writing out the moemnt and this very moment in the middle of the shower to stop and write out this one spark of maaaagic!!!!!!!

This one sunset track on loop and like the moennt from the inversions continued to the shower the waaaaaaaaay this very feeeewewwwl of him from that movement to the shower now!!!!!!!

This very thing that holds all of you together when some realisations in a way break you down!!!!!!

How’s this even possible to live him feeeel him hear him call you out in your waking stage of mind so much so that it makes you stop the shower now write this magic out!!!!!!!

One of those moments that in a second blows your mind away!!!!!!

Magic for REAL!!!!!!!!!

Vibe!!!!!

A bridal shower thing for a day of a friends and of all places it’s this very same Hyatt that you’d literally breathed him around even in his absence and the very thing you had to wanted to wear is this almost exact same shirt of his from back then white and blue striped thing that you looooooooved on him and his same style of cargo jeans as max baggy with two sizes bigger than your size as it looks on you……on the inside it’s one big heart smile living through!!!!!

Like every chance you get a glimpse of yourself in this very shirt it’s him is all you see and livin away right now also cause it’s a men’s wear shirt you have on!!!!

Some moments are just that beautifully beyond…

Having lived him the MOST in this very same shirt for some of the most special and first moments of yours to literally wearing his same shirt back then at opera…

Like a gazillions of memories in that shirt od his the waaaaaaay he just looked that gorgeous charlie like literally your pooora ka poooora heart right there on him everytime he used to wear that shirt…

Moments like these and this very same place having lived him with music that much cause it’s also one of those places you definitely think he took you back then the restaurant side of it…..like know for sure it was one of those places!!!!!

It’s this complete Him look vibe check today!!

It’s this different level of khushi everytime you wear something of his or that he used to wear and today shirt to jeans it’s all him!!

Sound!!!!!

 That one name in the world and even a far off echo across the room and this feeeeeel fataaaaak se!!!!!!

One of those things you can never get used to!!!!!

Sound of his name…!

Like the waaay the person says it across the room like cheeeetaaaaaannnnnn and that one rush of calling him exaaaaactly like that back in the gym……

When he would keep turning off the treadmill just so you could go downstairs with him for coffee and you calling him that exact same way…

Something’s like this and this feeeel right now just reliving it reliving him from that very moment!!

Moments!!!!

 This is exactly what and how you were feeling away last night!!

At a friends friend partner birthday thing just cause you designed the outfit custom for her she wanted you to be there for her…..

Something bout rooftop places this mush late at nights where the lights twinkling around and suddenly there’s no sound what so ever cause he just rushed through you…..where the sound around people around disappear and all you can feeeel right now is Him!!!!!

Cause amidst pretending to talk around there’s this guy just walks past by and this rush in you cause he was wearing a black shirt shoulders just like him walks just like him hands in the pocket talking to somebody over the fone sounds also like him and the waaaaaay like magnet you get pulled drawn towards just to get a glimpse of him…

Walk all across the lobby maintaining distance again just so he doesn’t notice you behind him and as he reached the elevator turns around and it wasn’t him……elevator doors closes you still standing there with that feeeeeel of what you thought THAT close……

The same guy comes up again asking if you were okay or wanted to get in the lift and you just walk away…..

This need to get away cause it’s that realisation of some moments that hits you different charlie that few seconds of a moment was all and more of that!!!!!!

It’s like he has gone beyond reach like you can’t reach him can’t touch him for real can’t see him for real like for him you don’t even exist anymore and this version of his dreams comes along that makes you believe it’s you all that he wants and needs cause both need and want are two completely different things……

You may need a zillion things in life but the most important thing in life is what is it that you really want in life…!

Reliving moments of his journey right from the start with you he always wanted you in his life and needed too like want he was that sure of!!!!!

Now is a completely different thing altogether!!!!!

It’s like suddenly this wave of reality hits you and sways you along when you really realise how strongly he had been wanting to keep you off for the longest time be it meeting you talking to you or the least is your presence even on his phone…….

It’s like his dreams loving you the most and this reality when it hits you shows you otherwise how bad he has all this while kept you off him like the other day there was this random conversation of blocks that you were part of without even wanting to be of……

Cause the manager one of your regular clients over coffee we’re having a talk about it and you were waiting for the model to come over to discuss last bits…..

And they talk bout how much of there’s this other word for hate that you can’t recall now must you have for somebody to block them like there were grateful for the app to keep the annoyance off their life and this feeeeeeeel that was running through you cause you alone know what and how it feels like really feels like being that to this now…

To the way they were talking bout it like in that moment it felt like it’s you in his life that he must be feeling that way to keep you off like this……

To this very moment chasing strangers away only to live that moment of not finding it to be him and that feeeel of suddenly being lost cause that’s how badly you just wanted to see him as it’s been that many years having seen him for real….

Apart from the zillion things that your heart yearns for sometimes it’s just to see him live his details live his presence away like sometime back meant everything to you and then to see it not be him felt something else!!!!

Like right now with this music playing it’s like it’s just you there’s no sound no other visual of people around just this sudden calm breathing in n out hoping this feeeel settles soonest possible!!!!!!!

Modes!!!!!

 There are these modes of missing sometimes you land in!!!!

Last night was the lost mode and in that state of mind cooking something with this new found music like intentionally making it beautifully worse for you kinda vibe…..

And just cleaning wiping the glass away cause that Sunita the Thor can break it in one swipe so that’s something you sort it yoruself and whilst doing so breaks in your hand leaving a deep cut in one hand!!!!!

Managing a self crisis like this never used to and literally paint your hand all yellow with turmeric and that sudden Khushi even in that painful moennt singing away watching your band it was all yellowwww!!!!!

Cause everytime you listen sing live that one line it’s him all you see cause it’s this habit of his used to habit back then of pouting away whilst singing that sexily and adoooorably at once…..

Same mood vibe fall asleep and wake up again with no dream……

Again that rush to workout knew it would be hard with one hand but sometimes it just is that strong yearning charlie to feeeel him away cause the recent feeel that hits you was the accessibility factor of him!!!!!!

That topic not for now cause this moooood it’s landed you in is beyond!!!!!!!!!!

Post workout through the moves singing away this one song cause it has all and just HIM vibes and HOW!!!!!!

Another one of those wishes your heart makes through the movements today to live him feeel him touch him love him adooooore him away to this very sound!!!!!!

Where one line goes where are you and as you move through the moves balancing and this one moemnt over your waist holding you away and the waaaaay you flow throug the feeeeel of him and the line goes here you are…as you lay over on your back and just be feeeeeeeling him away over!!!!!!

It was surreal cause suddenly there’s this light across the room the vibe changes the moooood transforms away into something beauuuuuuuuuuuuutiful!!!!!!

Like now you’ve felt him today theofjb the moves was just BEYOND!!!!

Like there’s this before and after moennt you capture to save it to see the affects of these moments feeeeling living him away like THIS!!!!!!!

This mind suddenly!!!!!!!!

This one track and that gorgeousness of him to this one beat exactly similar to some track of his you can’t recollect like know for sure it’s from some track of his this one sound in this track!!!!!!

Some sounds this looooove for music that makes you allow you to fly away to all things and feeeeels of him!!!!!!!

If only!!!!!!!!

Heart!!!!

 Lately this feeeel when you’ve been feeling like suchaa chor living his details away but moments like these to miss out!!!!

From having seen him lived with him worked with him on initial scripts to writing translating one for him to living him talk bout his dreams of film making to watching Filmfare as kids growing up to now decade later to see his worked on film achieve a Filmfare award your heart right now overfilled with pride and heaps of happiness for him!!!!!!

It’s like you’ve lived that dream along with him and the way it eventually did become your dream and one of those biggest of wishes too!!!!!!

Something’s nai this very moment as you can’t take your eyes off her phone just so she leaves again and you get a chance to see it again!!!!!!

This Khushi right now it’s beyond everything else!!!!!!!!

Sooooo soooooooooooooooooooo duckingly proud I say!!!!!!

Finally to see some dream n wish atleast of yours to come true for real…!

This feeeeeeeeeeeel right now ayyyaaaaaaaaa kitttuuuuuuu kitttttuuuuuuuuu only I say!!!!!!!!

Wonder of the world!!!!!!!

Another one!!!!!

 From liking loving his music to his recommendations of modern family and others to this another one being car races f1 and anything car related!!!!

Like with time over the years this is another one of those things that you really enjoy…

And this one gt based movie based on a true Nissan race driver you are actually liking it and this one constant thing on mind right now Becoming Him!!

To the way it always goes back to having read this somewhere with time over the years you become someone you are in love with or stayed with over a longer duration of time…

And this one scene where the mechanic goes noob and having discovered this word from his mango calling you that for something and you actually liked the sound of the word and start smiling away happily thinking it’s something good……and mango again laughs more and calls you again by saying she is such a noob and the way he smiles away that adoooooooorably at you and strictly looks at mango with a no nod and it’s only then do you realise it wasn’t a word that was something good……

Only after dropping em all and the second you get a chance and you turn towards him and the waaaaaaay he smiles away that beauuuutofully saying it’ means amateur or a fool like without even you asking him he just knew your level of curiosity like you for sure will ask him first thing……

And you still smile away saying you actually thought it could be worse and he that adoooooooorabky chuckles away to that!!!!

Cause the waaaay he strictly nods looking at mango in a way asking him not to call you that you actually think it must be a foul word or something worse going by how seriously he reacts to it……it’s one of those moments charlie when you suddenly love them all the more again to you this too was one of those moments where you felt that love for him grow and HOW!!!!!

It’s always ALWAYS the lil things that makes you love someone big nai…!

HOW!!!!!!!!

 Maaaagikkkk pure maaaaagikkkkkk!!!!!!!

When you literally LIVE for moments like these!!!!!!!

It’s been a roller coaster of a day from a high hiiiiiiigh like that one to the work madness and this moment of him right in the middle of everything you just can’t stop living that one visual of his from opera on loop with this one track on repeat since morning…….to that rush of a moennt as you literally chorofy her fone and rush to the other room at the studio as she gets busy with the staff……

And there he was with some story the title of some track sunset and the sound of the track based on saxophone sax get it charlie!!!!!!!

Like literally looking for treasure like the treasure hunt movies decoding things away finding clues finding and looking for that moment of magic some connection with the rush you are feeeeling away lately……as nonsensical ir may sound you alone know what it means even writing it out is like pure madness but again some feeeels are beyond everything else!!!!!!

And ways of the heart and ways of magic have always been beyond any sense right!!!!!

Like to live that moment of him as lil as you could see looking adorable with the over shirt style like he used to back then to that picture of his he had shared post bup in some WhatsApp chat wearing his navy blue shirt over shirt style and his white gym shoes croppping somebody out from beside and just sharing his image!!!!!!

This heart right now this face right now this smiiiile stuck on you right now!!!!!!

Oooohhhhh when you go awaaaaay I still see youuuu!!!!!!

Sunlight on your face in my rear viewwwwww!!!!!!!!

Recurring visions of your sweeetnesss!!!!!

Ayyyyaaaaaaaaaaa this heart this mind this all you right now!!!!!!!

That one face in the world for you!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mornings!!!!!!

 It’s this waiiiiiiit just when you are bout to fall asleep to live him sense him touch him feeeel him away……and then after that long wait when you don’t wake up to him this weird feeeel on the inside like you just missed out on meeting him kinda vibe!!!!!

It was a late morning to that need to rush into a workout as with new staff handwork ke appomted it’s already a packed day today and as you rush through the workout that waiiiiit for the post workout time!!!!!

It’s been cigarettes after lately again with mixed feeeeels of missing him living him this way living his love away and the weird after feels after!!!!!!

Just thinking bout it all!!!!!

To today this track as you play through the moves this one strong rush of him today over the back like you could feel him all over to the waaaaaaaay you sense him from the back to your head and the waaaaaaay it moves over to your arms like as beautifully crazy as this sounds right now writing it out the waaaaaaaaays you feel him through the moves is beyond logics any logic what so evrr!!!!!!!

To this new movement try today eyes shut and as you stretch through all you could seee was him from opera soon as he parks the car in your spot the waaaaaay he would fataaak se lean over you and that one second of looking you in the eye with that one specific smile of his and then that rush to literally dive into you away!!!!!!!

Like this one visual with the backdrop of the opera late at nights behind like this clear visual plays on repeat through n through the moves!!!!!!

The waaaaaaaay it felt like he was coming over to you as you move through like literally coming over you and the waaaay it keeps moving you like you felt him over your shoulder neck kinda beauuuutofully surreal vibe today tho!!!!!!

And this post moemnt feeeeels and rush right now!!!!!!

This strong longing to hold him away right away!!!!!!!!!

Like it’s his arms around and over you that you are missing the most right now!!!!!

Even as you write now this feeeeeeeeeeeel of him THIS rush of him like you can feeeel it grow by the second!!!!!

Moments!!!!!!!

 Missing him wayyy tooo much watching this video of his with ringo and this sudden realisation how exaaaactly similar the thumbnail of it looks to this illustration that you’d felt had him vibes……reliving him playing with lucky and you post it on his birthday this year…

The thumbnail of this one with ringo looks that THAT similar to the illustration and the waaaaay it made just happy…

this habit of wishing him on his birthday no matter what and after he asks you not to mail him what so ever you stopped doing that and yet that need to wish him document it save that day cause it’s the most important and specialest day of your life…

And you always find the most relatable images like look for them to make a birthday post for him…

This year it was this image at the beach it had the Versova feeeel of him and also the moments of him with lucky and you lost in him loving him all the more living those moments away!!!!!!

It’s that feeeeel charlie they could just be doing nothing just being themselves and yet you just living it makes you love them all the more be grateful for them in your life for having found them and to you this image connected with those moments of living him with lucky…

And now missing him this BAD seeing that thumbnail tings your mind away with how similar it looks!!!!!!!

Something’s I swear something’s only!!!!!!!

Moments!!!!!!

 Watching this crime series with this playlist and the waaaaaay it softly zones you out of the tension of the series and this landing into almost sleep state and this rush of him!!!!!   

All over your face that instant rush instant beauuuuutoful haste and that scent of him all over your face like smothered with that THAT MUCH sudden chummis and the way it shakes you up the line that very instant giving you all my love giving you all my love when you are far away I still feel it all!!!!!!

What do you even call moments like these!!!!!!!

This sudden need to save this face up cause it was smothered with his chummmiiiiis and HOW moments back as crazy as this sounds writing it out some moments you just can’t deny the maaaaagic of!!!!!!

Of all the things to wear it was this one Psych short of his pssssssychedelic teee from gym days!!!!!!

This beauuuuuuty this rushhhhhhhh right now ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa chippyyy how only you are missed biiiiiii ke abiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!!

If you only knrwwwww howleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee you gorgeous lil big adoooooooooooooorable thing!!!!!!!!!

I swear charlie abiiii ke abiiiiiiu lips pe geeeeli wali feeeeel aaajanaaaa uskuuuu hawa hawa mein that is!!!!!!!

This Khushi right now suddenly!!!!!!!

Lit I say heart is lit right away!!!!!!

Jumping dancing around to this one song on loop!!!!!!

Some moments the waaaaaaaay they can make you feeeo is just beypoooond cause moments back you actually were missing his chummis the most just the way he would kiss you away like literally your complete big face covered with all him kinda kiss!!!!!!!! Like he would literally cover your face away with his mouth again wanting to write out Kaise bhi like the waaaaaaay it would automatically shut your eyes away……..that sense of slowly and rushingly too to lose yourself in someone by someone like feeel that oneness of the person of the moment in that most beauuuuutofully passionate of ways!!!!!!!!!

And that’s exaaaaactly how he did come!!!!!! Himcomings like these!!!!!!! 

Again one of those times the second you open your eyes the track playing that very line and you make another wish…!

Moments n sounds!!!!!

 Some visuals of his just play on loop no matter what!!!!!

Where the sheera was an absolute mess and this feeel yeaaars after too still can’t get it right that one time for him it still almost did……

And now this very moment this one moooooooood it’s landed you in blame it on the bad wine or just that beauuuuuuty of him this sloowwwww him highhhh moood!!!!!

Ironically miss ring him away!!!!!

Moods shifting between cigarettes after and niladri…!

It’s like mind traveling back in time recalling details of him details of his love and this feeeeeel right now just reliving the nuances away!!!!!!!

A love like that one and YET!!!!!!!

Days dazed!!!!!

 Today feeels like suchaaaaaaaa mood with a Himmovir marathon day completely and this moment as you start cooking for sheera not cause you like it just cause it’s this Him state of mind today tho!!!!!!

And this viiiiibe of him around you as you cook it imagining him reliving him from his kitchen that day around you holding you sometimes to sharing these moments of him and his mom cooking in the kitchen and him sitting over the counter…….

And right now just picture him here as you cook with his music playing some nites and moments like these!!!!!!!

This one huge rush of missing aaaj tho of the many versions of him!!!!!!

From being his friend to gf to his mommy vibes too right now as you picture him here beside you in the kitchen reliving his face his that wait and that pride even after taking a good 4-5 hours to make a single sheera for him at his place!!!!!

Some moments!!!!!!!!!!!

Dreams n wishes!!

 One of those dreams and waking ups charlie that makes you wish for it all the more for real mein!!!!!!!!

Like play some series wit coffee and this playlist playing and yet the mind wanders and gets drawn towards these very moments of him visuals of him details of him from the dream and this wish strongly your heart makes to live him this very same way for real!!!!!!!!

Like sometime back you did quit wishing or making these wishes but it’s back the waaaaaay you wish closing your eyes away soon as you wake up from a himcoming like this one or lately with every himcoming you wake up and wish for it to be real!!!!!!

How why still donnoooo somethings are just beyoooooond the beauuuuty they hold cause that’s how strongly they bring him along…!

Mornings!!!!!!!

 Feeeeeels of him last night to waking up to a him coming like this THIS one!!!!!!!!

Like you wake up and didn’t wanna move and go back to him beside you again kinda vibe!!!!!!

Like even now it’s this heart beat to another level of race it’s like every feeeeeel felt with every track almost and to live him exactly or more that very same wayyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!

Felt like that one beauuuuuuuutofully wild continuation to every bit of feeeeeels lived and then to live it away live him away the very same way……..

Even now as you write and relive him from this morning to moments it’s this connection that you don’t seem to understand like how’s that even possible!!!!!!!!

Exact same way exact same words and that very same viiiiiube of him that you longed for…

And the waaaaaaaay he stops in beteeen looking you that way like he knew what and how exactly you’ve missed him and wanted to live him with!!!!!!!

To this moment now as you are still feeeeeling that pace of your heart beat goosebumped and watching the mug this thing your mom even commented bout how recently everything at home is turning into tones of blue from decor accents to crockery to lil knick knacks this tone of blue…

To this new mug addition too blue whale with oceans n the stars over!!!!!!!

Becoming Him and HOW!!!!!!!!!

Not just these but that many more moments of transition!!

Smoooothsail!!!!

 The mind having this smooooooooth himtrip sail of its own n your attempt at slowing it down cause THIS rush of him now living him away with these memories is something else!!!!!!!

Scoooby doo it is n you realise you’ve always been the Scooby or the messy shaggy types!!!

It just took him to realise that with this love for his psy beedi to live n trip over him n his vw!!!!!!!

Toooooo many memories!!!!!!!

To this word magic just as you are watching listening to music n reading words away all at once cause that’s how beauuuuuutifully lost you are this night!!!!!

These words n visual = HIM!!!!!!

Come this far…..

 Some sounds giving visuals away!!!!!!!

It’s this feeeeeling tonight having come this far!!!!!!

With him!!!! 

His presence earlier now witb his absence too there’s that vibe of his dreams of the homecomings at night having come this far in life…together somehow!!

This track playing n this visual f moments like these!!!!

Out in malls n him asking yih to try on things n waiting for you right outside…

And that feeeeeel of him everytime you come out that one smileeee on him to this one time he first time asks you to try on this dress n you’d never worn something like that before or even after!!!   

N the zip at the back doesn’t come up on your own n you open the door a lil n tell him it wasn’t coming up n the wayyyyy he comes closer smiles away saying but I still have to see it on you…..n you open the door turn to him with your back towards him……and the way instead of looking at your back he looks at you through the mirror again one of those first times him zipping the dress up n looking you in the eye wit that one rush in you and in him feeeing it away!!!   

That slightest touch of him at the back one of those first times!!!!!!! 

It was beauuuuuuuutiful charlie the waaaay he just looks at you and as much as you loooooved that there was that wait in you too for him to see you too n the second he does for a second that feeeeeeelfor the fist time!!!!!!

Some moments!!!!!!!!!!

Some sounds like intentionally making it this veauuuutifully worse for you!!!!   

With every track…!

Dumbness!!

 When writing writing you drop your fone on your face n immediately start this other one right now …

Cellphone!!!!!

He has jheloed a zillion of your most dumb moments which is also why dumb blonde was one of the other things he used to call you too….

The first most one definitely has to be this one…..

Initial most chummi rush moments at your staircase space just before he leaves after dropping you n in between the chummi rush something pokes keeps poking n you suddenly start looking what it was over him saying remove your cellphone no it’s poking n he just chuckles away that adoooooorably n letting you look for it over him and as you do for smetine this one time he holds your hands away with that same grip he used to suddenly in between a moment and comes close to your ears karely that’s not cellphone n you go closer ask him then what’s it n the way he looks down looks up at you looks you in the eye like he ncevee did before n stays that way……it’s my and just stops still looking you in the eye!!!!!

And you just hold him away literally hiding away in him and tge wayyyyyyyhe holds you back that night……

Like this momnent is this clear his expressions the way he looks down him chuckling away as you look for it over him him saying that to you the sound vibe of his voice that night…..like it was just yesterday!!!!!!!!

Just before leaving the way he comes holds you again telling you he loves you all the more now!!!!!

Like after that too there were a zillion times he did explain things away tell you things away teach you things awy that beauty of him charlie!!!!!!

Never for even once did he ever tell you otherwise he was always all the more excited over it asking what else can I tell you!!!!!!!

It just feeels like beautifully ajeeb like you’ve almsot grown up with him growing up together kinda feel cause you literally did after him…

Moooood!!!!!

 To think of it now back then toooo he was always the one in more control!!!!

At opera sometimes charlie when you that hiiiigh on him n he keeps telling you beech beech mein it’s getting late chale n you refused to move an inch away from him n the waaaay he would in between the rush too mention again n you finally telling him aaj yahi reg jaaye cause that’s howww baaadly you just wanted to be close to him…..and the second you used to tell him something like that it’s like unleashing this beaaaauuuuuuutiful other side of him out of nowhere n how you loooooooved living away that side of him…

To moments after the waaay he would stroll remember to remind you again…

This beauuuty of some nights n mooood with this sound of music n this thing it’s doing to your mind away right now!!!!!

One thing after the other one rush to the other!!!!!!

Mind wanderings lije these!!!!!

Moments!!!!

 Living your home alone moment laying under the night sky with mum at mathura this veryyyy sudden flying thought now as you live that beauuutyyyyyy of him in the video…. Him with that much self control!!!!!!

Like till THAT level!!!!!!

It’s this sudden thought charlie when you imagine being loved this way wanted this way n yet!!!!!!!!

To be able to feeel him live him still in his absence is not just you alone the things he talks bout the wayyyyy he talks bout in the dreams couldn’t just be you n yet……..

To be able to feeeel his love him making you feeel his love and yet!!!!!!

That level of self control!!!!!!!

Weird nai hits you differently sometimes specially in moments like these…!

Him!!!!!!!! HIM!!!!!!!!

 Slightest of him side profile bhi and this youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu it’s transformed away!!!!!!

Away that visual of him with that sound of your life I say!!!!!!!

Like this moment you come back home to and waiiiiitinf to write out to find this time for yourself!!!!!!

Like aaaaj thoooo after this long saruuuu thooo bantaaaa cause you are just happppppppppppy!!!!!!

Heart I tell you finds the lilst ray of happiness in lilst of light too!!!!!!!

The track could be a reshare thing and yet this feeeeeel now everytime you listen to it your home in him right from the very start!!!!!

Like he could just be walking towards you from the car to the apartment you waiting for him at the lift and that THAT one feeeeeeewwweewl in your heart you still remember this clear that one beautiful sigh every single time with that THAT much khushi for just having found him!!!!!!

A place like no other to that feeeeel of his touch that any to all of you that beauuuuutifully knows even in sleep like yesterday morning!!!!!

That sense of him to living him today looking his beauuuuuuutiful best and your mind keeps going back to that very visual ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaaa your complete heart right there!!!!!!

This rush of him righttttt now like playing these tracks and dancing away with new found rose tower something and this viiiiibe this moooooood of him as you keep dropping yourself only on the m floor and picture him there beside you looking at you down with his hand reaching out wanting to hold your hand ayyyaaaaaaaa I wannaaaaaaaaaa hold your hanaaaaad cause when I touchbbnhhhh youuuu I feeeeeel happppppy ohhhh sooooooooooo very horrnnneeeeeely happpppppy I sayyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!

Singhghvhhhh miyaaaaaaa how onlyyyy you are being missssed away aaaje bhiii!!!!!!

Haaapy him highhhhh saving up thoooo bantaaaaa a night of dancing dancing missssing him away!!!!!! 

Words n moments!!!!!

 Some moments like these!!!!!!!

Standing and waiting for the order to arrive to be collected move away from the counter leaving her there and this need to write out this feeeeeel right away listening to this track again……

Words of your dreams will be there to catch my home making me feel safe prettiest smiles it’s like with every word and line he comes along be it in dreams almost falling off the edge the waaaaaay he is always there holding you away his smiles his prettiest beauuuutofullest face ayyyaaaaaaaa his eyes all of him to any of him the waaaaaaaaay this track brings along every bit of him!!!!!!!

Like you see your reflection in the front and this one smile on you as you write it out right now cause that’s exaaaaactly how it’s feeeeling on the inside right now the waaaaaaay he just looks charloe in any tone of white your pooooooooora heart right there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kitttuuuuuuuuuuu miyaaaaaaa tummmmm aisaaaaaa waisaaaaaaa kaisaaaaaaaa kaisaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa yaaaad aaaare jiiii!!!!!!!!

If you only knewwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The most gorgeous form of magic in hoooman form!!!!!!!!

Home forever!!!!!!!!

 Ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa that one face in the world!!!!!!!!

Soooooooooo soooooooooooooooooo handsomelyyyyyy gorgeous he looks bababaabababaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!

This face this you right can’t stop won’t stop smiling and has never learned the art of hiding away these expressions in moment of rush like this!!!!!!!

Ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa the waaaaaaaay he looks this beauuuuuuutiruo in creamish white tone yet again meraaaa poooooooora ka poioiiooora heart hornet and everything in between right there!!!!!!!

And this one track not sure was a reshare one but the neauuuuty of some words this beauuuuuutifully apt you are my home…

Ever since he walked into the doors of the gym that one place that one face that one hooooman has been your home forever now…

This very moment when you can’t take your eyes off her phone right beside you now and waiiitinf for another excuse for to her to get off just soooo you can live him again now!!!!!!

Ayyyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Singh miyaaaaaaaaaa how only you are being missed away abiiiiiiu ke abiiiiiiuui!!!!!!!!!!

Hichkiiii tohhhh anaaa he anaaaaa tumkooo abiiiich!!!!!!

With that side feeeel along that it’s you who kissed. Again when missed becomes kissed wahtteeee only!!!!!!

This THIS rush right now!!!!!!!

Has the most beauuuutoful nose cutest smileeees my homeeeee and HOW!!!!!!!!

Something’s!!!!!!

 There’s this beauty of some moemnt a as and when you live it it’s the after that leaves the impact on you!!!!!!

These moments of his happening in your waking state to feeeel him away sense him away sense his touch away in waking state too is when post moments makes you question your sanity like how’s that even possible or normal……like do these happen for real or it’s your mind living him away in places moments with this missing growing by the second every day now…

Be it the other day in the shower morning morning and that sense of him that strongly that you rush to take a pic in towel itself cause that’s how strongly you felt him in that moment!!!!!!

To not finding him or waking upto him this morning and this weather since 2 days been raining to hazy and cloudy and it’s that wait this morning as it was very cold morning and you keep turning self talking to him for him to come to just see him and then fir uthjaaati pls come pls come for a second like you were actually sleep talking to him aaj tho and finally wake up as the alarm goes off!!

To this need to workout today even with flo cause you just had tooooo feeeeel him live him kaiseee bhi!!!!!!

And post workout through the moves play this track and as you move and bend through that feeeeeeeel of him over you and in some move you feeeeeeel away that same feeel over your neck and you lose balance and fall bad and as you do laugh away akelee akele commenting on your own madness away……eyes shut again back to the same posture and thus feeeeeel to that sound of him chuckling awaaaay that adoooootably and it was the Dd moment…..

At his place he cracks some joke on you over your dumb blonde moennt for the zilluonthtime and it cracks you up and you laugh away non stop to snorting and laughing again and the way he just looking at you smiiiiiling that adooooorably as you roll over his bed and still couldn’t hold back your laugh and the waaay this one moment he comes over pulls you like straightening you up and holds your face and chummis you away and HOWWWWW!!!!!!!!!

It’s that sudden THAT much of him to live away and you were just LOST!!!!!!!

The waaaay he again stops in between moves a lil away watches you and does it again!!!!!!

And then moves over to the other side and then watches you again smiiiiiilingaway !!!!!!

And you didn’t know what it was bout and smiling away adooooooraly says see that was easy you were almost choking on your own laughter so had to stop…… to moments later and the way he slowly whispers away saying he saw you snort and laugh after a very long time……

Like the only person in the world who used to love seeing you laugh that way and the waaay that day too after that long too he did remember your laugh and the way you used to back then…

It’s this moemnt recall after very long today!!!!!

It’s the waaaaaay he not just knew you also did remember details bout you……..

It’s this feeeeeeel of him lately like feeeels different and this strong like literally living away the part 2 of your love away by feeling him this way missing him this way living him away this way!!!!!!

And to him comings also coming that way!!!!!!

This rush post workout today cause you felt him over that strongly how still donno this rush right now even writing it out and wishing to live feeeeeel away for real like THIS!!!!!!!!

It’s like your skin knows his touch away sense of him away to this extent!!!!!!!

Beautiful absolutely beautiful madness I say!!!!!

Morning usuals!!!!!

 When you wake up with that state of mind and it’s been raining out ayyyaaaaaaaaaaa this heart every single time when you seee a mausaaaam like this one!!!!!!!

Kitttuuuuuuuuu miyaaaaaaaaaaaaa kittteeeeeee armaaaaaaaaan hai!!!!!!

Ab kaiseeeee sabkooo batlaaayereee bolooooo!!!!!!!

When you finally aaaj toh still in that state of mind when he comes hold onto his hand whilst he was saying something and just grab his arm away and that chuckle of his ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaaa him in a navy blue open shirt this time looking smelling his gorgeeeeeeeeously sexy self talking something…….

And you just grab his arm and literally hang over it like you were prepeared to not let him leave from the dream…cause it’s been lately it’s very thing when you wake up uskuuu pakad lenaaa tha even after waking up he still would’ve been here kinda weird madness!!!!!

Redoing up the house bits with minor changes for the first time for the house instead of the studio, post work takes all of you away and you watching this series pass out there’re itself and then this comfort that your mind body soul all of you longs for like there’s this beauuuuuutiful wait inside to feeeeel him any moment and the waaaaaaays he comes!!!!!!

This moment too like you hold onto him and the waaaaaay he gives the other arm tooo for you to grab and you tell him nai ye kaaafi hai naii jaaane deti aaj tho mein and that afoooooooorable nod of his saying tu hill math bas!!!!! To think of it now like he knew it’s a dream you knew it’s a dream in that very moment itself and like he knew you move and you wake up…….

And this one thing he does over your arm leaning over exCccccctly what he used to back then at opera and that rushbhhhh in you same rushhhhhh in you like he does that and still doing it looks yu in the eye and that neeed to just chummmieat his face away and you move towards him and wake up again almost falling off the couch on the edge like that kinda beauuuuutoful electric jhatkaa it gives you …….

This feeeeeeeeel ever since then shouldn’t have moved and now writing it out writing that very state of mind out feeeels beautifully ajeeeeb…to just realise that’s how real he felt that’s how real holding his arm felt that’s how HOW REAL him doing that over your arm felt!!!!!!!

Whyyyy does he have to leave the only inside scream that very moment!!!!!!!!

Seeing the weather out adding that beautiful fuel to what’s already rushing on the inside…

That one face that one presence that one smile that THAT one heart and person for life!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ayyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa it’s like you see everytime and that one feeeeeeeeeeeeel like your insides don’t experience anything like this ever just and only happens with that one presence on the face of this planet!!!!!!!!

Sliiiiiiigtest of him and this you it transforms into!!

Becoming!!!!

 Another one of those zillionth times when your mom converses amidst you waiting to head out……bout how you used to be feminine and over the years just mentions oopar oopar se bout him…..like after someone you have become this masculine version of yourself!!!!!

The epic him conversation starts from this sighting of your masculine sock choices……

Something’s and this very moment as she goes on bout the same still and you feeelinf this andar wali Khushi right now…to just knowwwwwww feeeeeeel this becoming of Him…

From men’s wear t shirts to shirts to socks it’s this beauuuuuty of something’s cause when you spot these things you see them on Him…wishing it on him for him!!!!!

Eventually lands up with you!!

Beauty of some random him moments like these…

Morning rush2!!!!!!

 Just like in movies!!!!

When he comes in sequels!!!!!

Morning waking up to shower awakening one’s!!!!!!!

To being Part 1 yesterday part 2 continuation today this morning!!!!!

More on this coming foon again like he used to mimic then of Kaminey movie back then!!!!!!

How much more missing how much more missing I say!!!!!!!!!!

Magical winter mornings like these even rushing out to attend multiple things this one smile won’t go away I say!!!!!

Like you are in a constant goosebumped mode cause when he comes like this it leaves this all over you….can’t hide can’t be normal for now!!!!!!

This one wild party on the inside and the outside struggling to remain calm…

Sing miyaaaaaaaa how onlyyyyy you were missed I say!!!!!!

I swear charlie if he only had the slightest of idea…….!

Him mornings in his blues!!!!!!!

Ur most fav pink floyd cause it’s multiple him things in one…!

Morning rush…

 People may say a zillion words and more quote the bestest of lines and words but it all comes down to that one moment of the moments in the way they just look at you…without saying a single word…

Like you can say a lot bout them and how they feel for you in just the way they look at you like these are also the moments when the words they may say may seem otherwise but just the way they look at you says it all away…

This morning from a long long deep dream and waking up like that one again one of those that you can’t possibly write out the details of but thaaaaaaat rush of him to allowing you to live your rush away for him and that feeeeeeeeeeeel as after he just stays that way one hand under his head and just looks at you not a word not a movement nothing at all just the waaaaaay he stays that way looking you in the eye……..and there’s this pace of rush and passion like giving a break and then at a distance and just living you away and that’s when all of you on the inside is not ready for that break for that distance like all of you being pulled drawn that strongly like current water currents towards him…..like can’t stand that distance kinda vibe…

To this other moment soon as you were up with that same rush still through you breathing high and weren’t ready to get off the bed as yet and as you turn that one glimpse or moemnt of him like driving and looking at you to the side and that one adoooooooooooooooooooorably beauuuuuuuutiful smile of his and you wake up trying to Lok for him cause again one of those moments that felt THAT real…….like he was actual mein there kinda real!!!!!!

To this morning morning work call and you had to be there at the studio to sort something out and you just couldn’t head back home again after sorting it and that need to feeeeel him more……cause amidst work that one constant rush of him that one face of his playing on loop like you just wanted to feeeel him like you do post workout like you couldn’t get it off your head……

And come back home for the workout and this new attempt to try free hand boxing again with this new hip hop playlist blame it on that but was the best thing you tried!!!!!!!

Super pumped to that one moment of playing that one track and ayyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa on drives with his sister sitting in the front with him and you right behind him and sudeney the way he would seee I can’t see you at the back as it’s too dark……

His sister asking what it was about and him just smiling away switching the topic!!!!!!

Not being able to see you through the rear view and yet he knew you were living him away through it…..

Like you even ask him over the call that night how did he know you were watching him and the waaaaay he that sexily says I somehow could feeel your eyes on me like that feel was that strong in that moment…

To all those dear view moments of him living you away to this one moment as you bend forward and trying to stretch side ways movement one leg out one arm out and that same second that feeeeeel of his leg and arm over your leg and arm like you could that strongly sense and feeeeeel his touch away the way he used to and as you move a lil more stretching upwards that soft feeeel of his nibble over the neck……

Again one of those things you stopped writing out cause it’s just that beautiful state of madness absultre madness to still be able to feeeeel him sense his touch and feeel of his presence in the very much waking state and then to read out your state of mind as you write the moemnt now……

But again today the dream the start of the day this rush you are feeeeeling right now like you just had too!!!!!!!!

This mind right now again wishing hoping away for mornings for dreams like these to be that beautifully really real for real mein too……..

Howleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee you Goregaon again typo and you let it be gorgeoussssss lil big afooooooooiorably sexy thing how only you were missed abiiiiiiu ke abiiiiiiuu!!!!!!!!!!

Ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa this mind from being that lost last night to being found like this this morning!!!!!  

2009

 The very first thing that pops up on your feed the second you are on it!!!!!!!

THE LIFE of your life literally!!!!!!!!!

This year…

2009

Neon irony!!

 Beautiful irony of some sounds and words…!

How it can just like that give words away to the visual of your moment right now!!!!!! 

Like how precise some words can sync like this with the mood!!

Smoked room!!!!!

 Some words!!!!!!

And the waaaaaaaay they bring him along in this stage of mind you are missing him away right now on a crispy cold cold night like this one!!!!!!

Room full of smoke and this one line by him for this band you are lost in him with since over a few days…

I have cigarettes when you suggest him some track from this band……..

That love for the smell of cigarettes and smoke ever since him cause the waaaaaaaaays it brings him along…another one of those things that from not liking it a bit to now loving the scent of cigarettes cause it brings him along and HOW!!!!!!!

To live that beauuuuuuuuuuty of him to experience being that madly cutely passionately wildly being in love with him living him away every detail of his amidst and through the smoke hazy clouded room of his…

This beauuuuuty of some sounds and to live feeeel him away right now to this sound and the waaaays his words his face his details come along!!

Be it from this morning or from that moment in Versova inhaling his pay beedi puffs away with and from his mouth to moving a lil back and enjoying your view to the max mostest!!!!!!!

And he just looks you in the eye smiiilijg away raising his eye brows asking what’s up without saying a word….and you were just that beauuuuutifully high on all his beauty and gorgeousness!!!!!!!

Like some visuals and this strongly they come along with the sound…!!

Used tooo!!!!!

 Some feeeeels you can tooootally get used to!!!!!

Side turning more than half alsoee and seeing him beside you on the pillow and you fataaak se turn back to that side again cause you were almost up and more than asleep stil and still see him looking his beauuuuuuuuuuutiful best with those sleeeep eyes and messiiiest hair!!!!!!!

It’s this feeeeeeeeeel of waking up in winters gets colder sometimes and then there’s this beauuuuuutiful warmth of his closeness around and beside you like seconds back…

It’s the even more beautiful after feeeeels that it fills your heart with with THAT big sigh if only for real tooo!!!! 

Every and any single person place animal or thing living the beauuuty of his presence touch sense feeeeel sound breathing the same air as him luckiest on the face of this world I say!!!!!!!!!!!