It was supposed to be a chill day at home with mom getting better and when this sudden change of plan with manager and few so called friends that went missing lately and suddenly showed up show up at your place for a lil house party kinda thing!!!
Cause you couldn’t stay out or be out for the same reason and also it just was that need to just be home and you be home……
It’s this beauuuuuuty charlie to feeeeel him suddenly even with people around it’s almost like he just came out of nowhere and the beautiful helplessness it lands you with like you can’t sit straight can’t be normal cause that sudden rush of him just literally just ran through you and how!!!!!!
There was this card game you were playing and some movie playing and some scene catches your attention and that same usntance there was him and that sudden rush of goosebumps over you and after a bit of struggle you get off and head to the balcony instead…..and that self nod mode how how to feeeeeel him away like that and you can never get used to it and stay still normal…
It never has been that way be it back then even been used to him on an everyday basis back then every single time the first touch first hug first kiss always always had that impact on you even the first second you see him and that immediate rush of him theofjb you for him……
To these choices of music and she takes out the psy beedi and the brownies which also had it and you skip it all again somethings it’s just been with him and this one being one of those things…because even having it back then was all bout ezpericing him with it like to not to just get high for the sake of it but to live him with it to experience him with it with that mood and state of mind…
Like you loooooooooooved it and how to live his details to feeeeel that passion run through your mind as you live him in that state of mind the way he would move or lean closer to you and ask you to take another inhale like the whole experience ro feeeeel all that away for him with him made having it all the more special……and now to have it just for the sake of it didn’t make any sense like it makes you mind go do that and do what kinda vibe!!
To just zoning out in between conversations and games cause that one moemnt from the dream keeps popping up and the waaaaaay your mind gets drawn on playing it on loop and the waaaay ir was making you that beautifully uncomfortable away!!
To when you had to change into something better instead of lounge wear and that need to feeel him like you felt him from this mornjngs dream just to feel him against and closest to your skin wear this oversized sweatshirt you had got for him last year and again like others just stayed there in that bag with the tags on……it’s a chilly night tonight and you just wanted some reason to feeeel him away and this one the second you’d seen in the window you pictured him there wearing it and just had to get it then…
Today wearing it that shift again immediately and it wasn’t cause it’s soft it’s something that makes your skin feeeeel closer to him in an instance like there’s all of you craving for his touch to just feeeeeel him and the second you put this on with eyes shut it’s like he just held you like wrapped around by him suddenly!!!!!!
And that knock on the door shakes you up like literally you wake up from that zoning out!!!!!
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