Sunday 24 December 2023

Auto mode!!!!!

 It’s like there are days mornings nights and seconds of missing and then there are days of missing him when you’d specially wait for some sign any sign anything at all from him in a way to reason out your own madness of moments of waking up or living some moennt that strongly that felt that real!!!!!

One of those days was the birthday too waiting for something anything at all to just fill up something that felt that strongly missing in you…

To this day some movie mention it’s as a date of 2009 to this other Christmas movie saying something that beautiful!!

Again when Christmas night brings him along too your ultimate magical gift of life for life - HIM!!!!!!

When he shows you a star alignment that happens only on the night of Christmas being aligned as three dots out of which one sparkling the most and this he used to call it as Christmas magic and tonight as it strikes 12 you rush out run downstairs trying to get some trace of these dots around the moon and couldn’t find the moon at all!!!!!

Again one of those things a missing high mind can make you do even on a madness cold night as this one…

This winter felt like the winters back then shivering away on coldest or nights in the balcony having your most loved moments hearing him breathe over the call and falllinf asleep…

Sooooo yaaaa this one thing writing him and the waaaaaay it brings along a moemnt you completely missed out on!!!!!

one night mom on painkillers she couldn’t sleep and you stay beside her trying to put her to sleep and she out of all things asks you which moennt with him do you miss right now if you had to….you were on her shupulder and the very thing that very moment you could think of was hearing him fall asleep……and you in full flow of missing him then too soon as she asks you mention hearing him fall asleep which sounded wrong if she didn’t know it was over the call and you realise and then add over the calls and she doesn’t say a word!!!!!

Pin drop silence mins after she falls asleep and that moemnt left your imagination open and that new want popped up!!!!!

Hearing him fall asleep as you live him sleep next to you some wishes I swear the waaaaaaaaaay it can make you feel after not being prepared to wish for and then suddenly being slammed with a visual with a beauuuuuuty as that one!!!!!!

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