Him!!!!!!

 From that moennt to your mind it was a beautiful mess!!!!!!!

It’s like the complete himness had taken over you and your mind completely!!!!!

To that random moment too where looking for house chappals to go down with them to check out the building ka party you couldn’t find yours and one of them offers her chappals instead that she had in her bag and you just stand there living him walking towards you that adoooooooorably and then stands before you takes his brown and orange chappals off and pushes it towards you…don’t ask a thing and wear it immediately looking at him and him smiling that smile away cause you knew where that came from!!!!!

Him in Bangalore and back then your cousins had come over as the family was still in touch with them and head out to play cricket and bantu watching you field in chappals gives his shoes with socks instead asking you to wear it and then field……and after that or something or in between the game he calls you up from Bangalore and you tel him bout it as a kid you used to play cricket sometimes mostly was made to do fielding only and as you mention bout wearing the big out of size shoes of your cousin the way he goes silent and asks you to give a call once you are home……

Leave it all and head home that very second to call him back and the way he starts off by asking you never wore any chappals also of mine and you were wearing some guys socks that was worn by him…….it’s only after he says it the way he says it do you realise the irony of it!!!!

It’s that feeeeeewl again wearing something of someone you love and then to use something of somebody else’s just feels weirder!!

And him coming back from Bangalore meeting him at his place days after and the second you reach his place he comes walking towards you looking you in the eye takes his chappals off and pushes it towards you and that very feeeeeeeling charlie of feeeelinf most loved in the world rushes theough you with that adoooooravle expression of his kid face expression pouty lips baby eyes smiiiiling away that adoooorably as you wear it without asking why or what!!!!!!

Like that moennt didn’t just stay with you it stayed with him all that while and he was just waiting for that moment to live it with you…to wear something of his!!!!!

And just before leaving dropping you home as you take them off the way he asks you to keep it instead and you actually come back home with and in his chappals!!!!!

In love charlie it’s always bout the lil lilst of things that always ALWAYS makes you love someone big…!

Visuals!!!!!

 Your mind lacks that imagination in other things except for him and work or designs there’s this lack of imagination thing…

But when it comes to him specially it runs and goes all wild!!!!!

There was this instance of gram conversation or gossip rather bout some insta pages and this one they were discussing bout and you were setting up the dinner table and they bring it over showing it to you and was that scene of a girl holding the guy rough from the back and just licks him over the ear and they had it all wrong things to say bout it saying it usually happens the other way round……

Your mind that very instance was that lost that you had to rush to the washroom on your way there take your earplugs along and play this sound again!!!!!

At his dd space just bout to leave and you were wearing your chappals or something it was and he comes and holds you from behind in that rush and just pushes you against the wall before you and stays that way holding you tight kissing smelling your hair away from behind!!!!! Like you could literally hear him smell you and just move over you and that feeeeeeeweeeel cause he never did that before you never experienced something like that before it was different it was rough it was wild and you loooooooved it like you try to move to hold him or something and he doesn’t let you and just stays that way holding you only after a bit after he leaves you that rush in you by then that you turn around and first thing to chummi eat him away it was different!!!!!!!!!

Like that one moment stays with you and how!!!!!

And that wait in you to meet him again and the next time in some mirror moennt or you were brushing your hair or something and see him coming closer to you and you instead hold him from the back trying to do the same thing but him being him more power turns literally flips you over and holds you from the back again!!!!!!

Today watching that video first your mind goes over living that moennt with him to wanting to live this moennt with him and that very instance also wondering him being taller you wouldn’t be able to reach his ears to lick him that way and that whole scenarios playing in your head maybe some heels would held but then you don’t wear heels either it’s like you that bqaaaaaadly wanted to live that moennt with him your mind was doing that thing of picturing him right there and that need that want to do it that way!!!!!!

It was absolute madness be it that moennt your mind was planning it away or after your mind trying to tame itself down and failing every attempt at it!!

Days n moments!!!!!

 It was supposed to be a chill day at home with mom getting better and when this sudden change of plan with manager and few so called friends that went missing lately and suddenly showed up show up at your place for a lil house party kinda thing!!!

Cause you couldn’t stay out or be out for the same reason and also it just was that need to just be home and you be home……

It’s this beauuuuuuty charlie to feeeeel him suddenly even with people around it’s almost like he just came out of nowhere and the beautiful helplessness it lands you with like you can’t sit straight can’t be normal cause that sudden rush of him just literally just ran through you and how!!!!!!

There was this card game you were playing and some movie playing and some scene catches your attention and that same usntance there was him and that sudden rush of goosebumps over you and after a bit of struggle you get off and head to the balcony instead…..and that self nod mode how how to feeeeeel him away like that and you can never get used to it and stay still normal…

It never has been that way be it back then even been used to him on an everyday basis back then every single time the first touch first hug first kiss always always had that impact on you even the first second you see him and that immediate rush of him theofjb you for him……

To these choices of music and she takes out the psy beedi and the brownies which also had it and you skip it all again somethings it’s just been with him and this one being one of those things…because even having it back then was all bout ezpericing him with it like to not to just get high for the sake of it but to live him with it to experience him with it with that mood and state of mind…

Like you loooooooooooved it and how to live his details to feeeeel that passion run through your mind as you live him in that state of mind the way he would move or lean closer to you and ask you to take another inhale like the whole experience ro feeeeel all that away for him with him made having it all the more special……and now to have it just for the sake of it didn’t make any sense like it makes you mind go do that and do what kinda vibe!!

To just zoning out in between conversations and games cause that one moemnt from the dream keeps popping up and the waaaaaay your mind gets drawn on playing it on loop and the waaaay ir was making you that beautifully uncomfortable away!!

To when you had to change into something better instead of lounge wear and that need to feeel him like you felt him from this mornjngs dream just to feel him against and closest to your skin wear this oversized sweatshirt you had got for him last year and again like others just stayed there in that bag with the tags on……it’s a chilly night tonight and you just wanted some reason to feeeel him away and this one the second you’d seen in the window you pictured him there wearing it and just had to get it then…

Today wearing it that shift again immediately and it wasn’t cause it’s soft it’s something that makes your skin feeeeel closer to him in an instance like there’s all of you craving for his touch to just feeeeeel him and the second you put this on with eyes shut it’s like he just held you like wrapped around by him suddenly!!!!!!

And that knock on the door shakes you up like literally you wake up from that zoning out!!!!!

Hzoned!!!!!!

 When you galti se fall asleep writing writing and to be woken up every single time like this leaves you wanting more of him and how HOW!!!!!!

The sound of him breathing rushing over you with eyes shut and then to live him live his touch away in that beautiful rush beautiful haste to these whispers of his sound is beyoooooond!!!!!!

When you are trying to live this usual versions of him cause this you lately it’s been transforming away on a constant high on mode has become a lil difficult to tame down away….

It’s the waaaaaays he moves around and over you and the sound of it touch of it the waaaaay it wakes you up almost speaking out to him…it’s beautiful it’s completely madness and yet this looooove for it every single time!!

Dancin in the dark!!!!!

 When having daru after a very veryyyyyy long time hits you like this and whoooo bhi when you already were trippin turned on already by him!!!!!’nn

Highhhhest chances this post to be deleted but for now just dancin in the dark calluses felt tooooo many things away for him for the first times again!!!!!!

When you also feeeeel this could be you too cause that’s how baaaad you looooved the idea of it!!!!!!

Butvbbdiestttt happppppy newwwwwww heaaaaaar charlieeeeee!!!!!!!!

This year we shall make it the bestest I say!!!!!!!!

Wearing something you got for him long back and todaaaaay with this him highdddddd him tieeeddddddd waking up you just wanted to feeeeeeel him allolll on your skin in waking state too!!!!!!’n

This mind this year tooooo starts with missing him and hiwwwwwwwww that you make the manager stay back as longest as you posisgoeeely could hold informer just to live him away any of him away and doesn’t happy!!!!!!!

This loooooood nowwwwww this youuuuu now could getttt highhhhhhhh himhighhddddddds on looooveeeee!!!!!!

Feeeeelin away the rushhhh from his touch babyyyyeeeee!!dancing in the dark awaaaayeeeeee!!!

Himversion!!!!!!!!

 How does something like this make you feeeeeeeel him away like this THIS!!!!!!!

Every single time he comes like this this you it leaves you with !!!!!!!!

THAT rush this morning sound of him breathing rush of him breathing the way he was moving over and around you the touch sound and scent of him like soooo SO much you wake up with and that first neeed to get the workout done!!

Lil did you know the HIGH Him highd state of mind you were in today like this one set tinliker gets your mind in the waaaaaaaaaaaaaay that one rush of him today tho on the treadmill itself and that need to run speed drive just to run somewhere far off and just live that feeeeeeeeel that rush cause knowing you can’t run to him but it was that strong urge charlie today that strong rush that also was another one of those firsts today….in between the workout kinda first coming literally!!!! Changing words as subtle as you could be bout it!!!!!!!

To the post workout cut short the strength training today cause you just had to live this rush of him rushing through you right now!!!!

Cause all you could smell feeeeeel over and around you was Him!!!!!

To these moves and this loooooove and passion for it as you learn new moves to feeeel him away and the waaaay today this one stroke of his touch under your chin to like you could feeeeeel it that strongly also why you make sure to keep your eyes shut al through to feeeel him as max as you could!!

It’s that one touch and the waaaay it just gets you in that groove mood vibe of that moennt smiling away akele living that rush of him away!!  To this other moment of this track playing anulom vilomas you breathe through and even then all you could live was him being nose touch distance from you looking deep in your eyes just like he used to at his place in his room close to the washroom against the wall…….that same exact vibe this very day today as you breathe through and living that rush of him as you could feeeel his lips nose almost touching your skin away as you switch between one nose to the other…

It was magical it was surreal it was a different experience altogether today even now like you are breathing this high post movements see your face red today like you can geeeel this rush this strong today!!!!!!

Usually movements cool uou down it’s not happening today nope!!!!!

This you right now this rush of him through you right now!!!!!!!

Kyaaaaaa hotaaaaaa ki aaaaj it’s like you are beyond your own control today!!!!!!!

Moments!!!!!

 The issues you were dealing with at work also had a lot to do with how you completely forgot bout something amidst all this at home thing you were dealing with…

Memory concerns and here it’s the same you how something like mom pulling to button up brings him along from that very moment over a decade old more than that actually now…

Like even writing it now the waaaay it brings those deeeep details along the way he was looking at you the way he was feeling away your skin as he buttons up and looks you in the eye the waaaaay it made you shiver slightly the pace of your breath going higher the waaaaaay it all felt that new and yet that beauuuutifully familiar to the moments at opera to the way he just gently touches away your skin and then roughly again buttons up…

And soon as his sister comes back and you had to move away from him like everything in you still wanting needing to be closest to him……and the waaaaay he would just be away and smile away knowing exactly knowing the rush in you for him to everybody around telling you that you should change back to your cothes instead uncle literally indirectly explaining the consequence bout how it would make a girl parent feel and things but in your head that one moment with him you just couldn’t plus it was his kurta charlie it was that feeeeeeel of him with you over you and you just couldn’t…to the way amidst all of this the waaaaaaay it was only making him happier seeing you struggle resisting and yet loving it helplessly away!!!!!!

The second you sit in the car for him to drop you home the waaaaaaaay he just holds your face and chummis you away right there in his car parking lot….kaisi hai tu and chummis you again!!!!!

And you go back to complaining how you wanted to wear something he most wore and stuff and at your place beside galli takes it a lil further chummis again!!!!!

That night after calls and everything he actually comes over again one of those late night golden hour mornings and brings along his other kurta that he did wear and actually gives you saying now sniff and you fataaaak se do and that chuckle of his adoooooorably saying yes it’s not washed khush re and khushhhhhh you were!!!!!!

Thinking of it now recalling those sniffs how only you looooooved the scent of him too!!!!!!

No wonder still can smell his presence away just before feeeeelinf him in the dreams even before he touches sniffing his presence away and HIW!!!!!!!

Him HIM!!!!!!

 It’s that mooood you come out complaining how it wasn’t smelling like him and you wanted something worn out by him not something new and the waaaaaay he comes in that different zone mood walking towards you looking you in the eye and that very feeeeeeeeeeel charlie where you lose sense of what you were talking a second back what’s around what’s happening nothing at all but the way just the waaaaaaay he was walking towards you with that one constant mood smiiiile look in his eyes and as he comes closer the way he roughly pulls you closer by the kurta button…….

And how you looooooooved him being rough with you throwing you over the couch bed playing wrestling pushing pulling you closer and you lioooiooioiived every bit of it!!!!!

To the way he just puts the buttons on and to tease him you unbutton them again just so stays that way living him away that very away and he nods back buttoning it again touching your skin away and looks up again with that nod it was that beauuuuuuuuutoful the waaaaay he was doing it was like hiding away your skin from being on show even with that one single button over!!

Like you completely forget your complaints that you came out rushing with to just to live that version of him away and HOW!!!!!!!! 

Like from that moment on to his sister coming back and saying you shouldn’t have worn it then n there uncle feels it too and you just look at him with that feeeeeeeeel of not wanting to take it off now that he had put it on that way on you…….and the waaaaaaay he just smiiiiiiiles and nods away saying a yes to your plead like without a word from you just looking at you knowing exaaaaaty what and how you felt in that very moment…tells uncle he will handle at your place with some excuse !!

Cause it seems that you shouldn’t be changing into his clothes and heading back to your house cause it would obviously give the wrong signal to your people at home…

Even with that you just were ready to tackle that but not ready to take that kurta of his off you now that he made you wear it and HOW!!!!!

All that while that one feeeeeeeeel on the inside wheee at some point even his sister mentions bout why buttoning up till that up and asks you to unbutton one or two buttons and he just looks at you instead of eating and yih instead tell her that you were comfortable that way…

U remember even sleeping in it that night again all the more doubts at home but that one feeeeeeeeel charlie of him living that moment with you to feeeeel him away that way to live him that way in his clothes was different!!!!!!

And that feeeeeeel you didn’t wanna get off you and that feeeeeewl of sleeping in it you still remember…that feel of still having him closer to you over you!!

HimVibin!!

 It’s one of those moods vibes a track a sound puts you in wheee you just wanna be move along with the way some visual some memory some sound makes you move…

It was supposed to be one of those nights mind tired exhausted and now wanting to just live it away feeel it away move along the way it makes you feeeeel him at this hour…

And suddenly with this sound playing that same moment same visual of him same pull of him and put on the lights and sit down to write out finally!!

At his place as he takes out his old clothes and stuff to distribute amongst all of us letching over his stuff to find gems away……to you it was just anything that he had worn most that had most of him and his scent to it anything at all!!!!!

And he finds this kurta of his from Nepal maroon orange tone one and he gives you that his sister still saying something for it and he insists on just this one for you pleading her away and she nods and lets you have it instead…

Soon as they were done and she heads out for shower he immediately asks you to go try it on in his room bathroom……as you in to try the first thing was to sniff it away and was almost new barely worn kinds and you immediately come out wearing it saying it’s new but it doesn’t smell like you…still standing at the door of his bathroom and there was a step kinda thing like to come out of the bathroom step down in his room and the waaaaaaay he looks at you smiiiiiling away comes closer pulls you by the top of the kurta closer to him……buttons up the kurta for you looking you in the eye…that one constant feeeeeel rushhhhhh of him suddenly through you the way he keeps pulling you even closer as he puts each button away and you try to take off the first one and he buttons again nodding saying not to keep it open….hear some sound somebody coming and you try to move away and he again pulls you closer by the button even writing it now this fulllll complete gooosebumpy feeeeel head to toe as you relive him from that very moment!!!!!!

Its THIS veryyyyyytyyyyggy feeeeeeeel of writing him out in moments like these and THIS feeeeeeeeeel it overloads you with is beyoooooond!!!!!

Beautiful madness!!

 It’s been complete max madness at work!!!!!

Not having been to work all these days over a week being at home and now suddenly there are too many things to deal with and a complete mess!!!!!

Amidst everything you are this gorgeously slammed with one of those most beautiful moments of him that brings him along and how HOW!!!!!!

And even tackling the mess today at work you just couldn’t wipe that smile off your face I say!!!!!

Getting ready stepping out rushing to work early where all of you still looking at the mat with that deeeep sense of missing away the himversion this morning…soon as you step out and standing standing eating your breakfast lunch thing and your mom pulls your shirt and buttons one button saying how could you miss out on buttoning up properly……

And you standing there looking down suddenly look up and there you see him right there in that moment!!!!!!

Like how does he come out of nowhere and that feeeeeel that rush in that very moment it brings along is beyoooooond magic…..

Even this very moment now where you just wanted to be listening to this new find at this cafe today and you couldn’t stop reliving him away with this track playing at the cafe the waaaaaay it falls this insync with your mood and moment of him and this same moment comes along with this music….!

THIS!!!!!’

 This feeeeeeeeeeeelinf when you are ljteralllllly flying off the ground like literally feet not touching the ground only kindaaaaa vibe you are trippin on right now!!!!!!!

It’s only when you live something after long do you real mein realise why you loved it sooo much!!!!!!

This feeeeeeeeeeel to just live him away like THIS with al open your chest your arms your mind like letting this side of you wild and free and to then live him away with his music as you move along and feeeeeeeel him along every inch of you…….

Be it waking up to a himcoming like THAT one after long like he knew you were ready to live that side of him feeeeeeel that side of him away cause all these days it’s just been the hug the holding the scent and feeeee of him it was only this morning he comes and HOWWWWWWWW!!!!!!

To this feeeeeel right post movements for the longest time like you tealllllly wanted to makeup for all this lost time and give that kind of time for these inversions actually now it’s himversions literalllllly!!!!!!

To feeeeeeeeel him away as you move all over you and then that one moment of stretching up elongating the neck and shoulder and you feeeeeeel him the strongest over the neck like that saaaaaame feeeeeel of his color of love over you the waaaaaaay it used to feeel when he missed you too much that it actually makes you stop and take a look at yourself and it was some redness around very slightly but that feeeeeeeeeeeel it left you with!!!!!!

It could be cause you overstretched it if you think logically but if you go by what and how it felt exactly it’s the him magic!!!!!!!

Absolutely and compleyelyyyy!!!!!!!

Very reason why you love it THIS much to feeeeeeel this rush right now that’s rushing through you!!!!!!

Himversions!!!!!!!

Ahhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!

Sing miyaaaaaaaaaaa yet again yet another morning and how only you are being missed away I say!!! Yet again if you only had the slightest idea!!!!!!

This you with this light color of love it left you with…!

Auto mode!!!!!

 It’s like there are days mornings nights and seconds of missing and then there are days of missing him when you’d specially wait for some sign any sign anything at all from him in a way to reason out your own madness of moments of waking up or living some moennt that strongly that felt that real!!!!!

One of those days was the birthday too waiting for something anything at all to just fill up something that felt that strongly missing in you…

To this day some movie mention it’s as a date of 2009 to this other Christmas movie saying something that beautiful!!

Again when Christmas night brings him along too your ultimate magical gift of life for life - HIM!!!!!!

When he shows you a star alignment that happens only on the night of Christmas being aligned as three dots out of which one sparkling the most and this he used to call it as Christmas magic and tonight as it strikes 12 you rush out run downstairs trying to get some trace of these dots around the moon and couldn’t find the moon at all!!!!!

Again one of those things a missing high mind can make you do even on a madness cold night as this one…

This winter felt like the winters back then shivering away on coldest or nights in the balcony having your most loved moments hearing him breathe over the call and falllinf asleep…

Sooooo yaaaa this one thing writing him and the waaaaaay it brings along a moemnt you completely missed out on!!!!!

one night mom on painkillers she couldn’t sleep and you stay beside her trying to put her to sleep and she out of all things asks you which moennt with him do you miss right now if you had to….you were on her shupulder and the very thing that very moment you could think of was hearing him fall asleep……and you in full flow of missing him then too soon as she asks you mention hearing him fall asleep which sounded wrong if she didn’t know it was over the call and you realise and then add over the calls and she doesn’t say a word!!!!!

Pin drop silence mins after she falls asleep and that moemnt left your imagination open and that new want popped up!!!!!

Hearing him fall asleep as you live him sleep next to you some wishes I swear the waaaaaaaaaay it can make you feel after not being prepared to wish for and then suddenly being slammed with a visual with a beauuuuuuty as that one!!!!!!

Places!!!!!

 To this solo date the other day or this evening over some friends gathering for just an hour to show your face and come back !!!!!

It was this Starbucks to just be in one his places and just be……

It’s this feeeeeel of him these places bring along this one being at gvk sitting there with him eating his coffee froth away where he would always ask them to give a spoon along just so you could eat it from his cup too…….and him not even slightest embarrassed by you as people used to look at you doing that and you would stop beech mein and he would insist by pushing the cup back to you and nodding away giving a go for you to do it……

To that moment of running back to him to that very place as he sister suddenly drops over and takes you along beech mein to meet her friends and you come back saying you left your phone and find him standing right there waiting for you like he knew for sure you would come back for him…

To see him still standing there for you and you run to him and hold him away with people still around and the waaaaaay he hugs you back it’s that feeeeeeeel of knowing you weren’t the only one…

To those moments of people watching with him and just chilling in that very space to be there that day and just feeeeel and live him away there was your peace…

To this day some guy at her house suddenly takes out the guitar and starts to strum away some sound and that feeeeeel in that very moennt for not having seen him do that knowing his love for guitar cause back then he didn’t have the strings or some issue with his guitar!!!!!

And everytime since then any sight of somebody playing the guitar it’s this one longing it brings along every single time to watch him play and sing along cause there was that beauuuuuuuuty of him singing too and THAT you were lucky having lived it that THAT much!!!!!!!

Him singing away on drives pouting his sexy lips away as he sings and to those lucky day when he would sing away Hindi songs for you to you!!!!!

It’s this sudden feel charlie when you live something and realise didn’t live him that way when you see some visual a moennt in some movie and that realisation missed out on that moennt with him to live him that way to that need and want of loving him that way too!!!!!!

It’s these mixed feeeels lately that his dreams only add more to this rush!!!!!

Theoufjbqnd through this time that one constant feeeel and need to watch his video with ringo and that was your ultimate moment of peace comfort and all things love and smiles!!!!!

Like the only moment that did bring back the smile on you and picturing yourself in place of ringo every single time….

Moments!!!!

 It was just a day or two before your birthday!!!!

In your head still the worst one but the way him again makes it this beautiful!!!!!

Trying your best to stay up for mom and you fall asleep sitting sitting and this one feeeeeeeeeel of him literally holding you moving away pulling you closer to him like you were now leaning over him with that support and you move open your eyes there was his lips that close to yours that scent of him visual of him suddenly above you and it was almost day behind him like you try to make snes of that moennt….

And he leans over nodding away that beauuuuutifully slowly chummis you away and in that very moment charlie I swear it was a comfort after the most stressful of almost more than a week like that one moment of feeeling him chummi you that way as he still stays over slowly nibbling away and that one sighhhhhhhh of the most beauuuuutiful comfort in his touch taste and smell was magical!!!!!!!

And he slowly moves away and you make a sound like not wanting him to move away and the waaaaaay he immediately holds your hand with that grip that it wakes you up!!!!!

Like you couldn’t make sense of what just happened cause the visual was that clear and real his one hand on the steering as he leaned over you to chummi you to the other one tightly holding you holding onto you and you still feeeeeeling that sense of him over your lips even after the waking up!!!!!!

And that one visual one moennt of him stayed with you and how and you had to put a picture on that feeeel and use his picture as your dp from the drives back from his dd space and you take his picture holding the steering wheel!!!!!

It’s when time and again you realise how much of him are completely of by now…!

To still be able to feeeel him away like this in a time like that one was something else!!!!!!

Exaaaactly the way he used to hold you back then when on drives and the ditto way of his leaning over you to chummi you still holding you tight with the other hand…

Dreams n visions!!!!

 Lift was under servicing and yet was let open for use!!!!

It drops from ground floor to basement 9-10 times by then it was you and your mom in the lift panicking worst trying to contact the security from the lift phone as there was no network on your fone…..

By the time somebody comes over opens the lift with a key and your mom steps out feeling giddy with those lift drops and misses a step and falls on the side bruise her nose and lips worst possible way with blood everywhere on the floor by the time you reach her watch her fall and blood everywhere!!!!!

You lose your senses crying shivering couldn’t even hold your phone proper to call back the driver as you had to rush her to the hospital the security guys come over holding her cause you shivering hands shaky couldn’t hold her at Apollo finally and with the worst experience there too asking for money every counter without even attending to her or proceeding with the dressing it’s suddenly when you feel it’s just you like couldn’t see her that way bleeding that bad and nobody coming over to check her even……

From that point losing your cool and raising your voice at them about the situation finalky doctors start coming over to check her and the dressing is done scans and tests were done!!!!!

All through your shiver doesn’t stop and that one constant feeeel of just having someone by your side and that second as you wait out for the scan to be done that one feeeel of him beside you it’s that sudden new want that you realise didn’t even need and could miss him that way too was another one of those firsts!!

And you instead switch to Sai baba to find that comfort like from that moment on till she got better since a day finally has been just pure Sai baba magic!!!!!!

Staying up almost a week and just paring her to be normal as she couldn’t walk on her own and yih had to stay up praying baba there’s this one constant feeeeel of him charlie as mad as this sounds there has been that sense of his shoulder beside you as you could still find that comfort in his scent as you rest your head over him couldn’t even listen to music as you had to make sure you could hear her if she wanted your help……

It’s been this one constant feeeeel sometimes when too stressed or scared for her there was those chummis on your forehead that sudden wet feeeeel over the forehead and that scent of him followed after!!!!!

Again one of those things you can’t reason out what it was even but to feeeeeel him away that strongly even in your worst times was something else!!!!!

So much so that it only made you want him all the more even with the waking up like to be with you beside you like to know you are not alone in this!!!!!

State of love!!!!!

 It’s that strong sense of missing that need that want to feel him that comes along on some days!!!!!

Ever since that memory call or these moments through your most difficult days when in your head it’s that state of begging for someone’s love kinda mood!!!!!!

Cause that’s how badly you miss them how badly you miss their presence that one weird state of missing that level of missing it all comes down to!!!!!!

There have been moments dreams waking up to that feeeeel of him presence of him that only made you want more of him and HOW!!!!!!

To that sudden moment after waking up to him in the shower when you open a new body wash thing and the first smell of it brings along that memory of him!!!!!!

As he comes closer to you at his place soon as his sister leaves the room brings his arm closer to your nose and asks you to smell him and then leans over you and asks you to smell his neck away and that sudden rush theofjb you the second he does that and moves away soon as he hears his sister coming back by then that state of you shocked high on him suddenly when you were least prepared to and then having to act normal before his sister as he stands away and that adoooooooorably chuckles away to the state of you….his sister asking away what was wrong with uou not saying a word nothing and him laughing at you!!!!!

Only after as his sister goes downstairs you runnnnto his room literally as he was playing something on his computer and hold him chummi away and him still laughing as you chummi him in between the chummi too like he knew exaaaaactly what he did to you and why you came running to him!!!!!

Only after he tells you that it was some new Palmolive floral body wash he tried that day and first thing he thought of was for you to smell him and the scent on him!!!!!

That very day in the shower it was a floral one cause you usually go for citrusy ones and this one your mom got for you and was in your bathroom and the first scent of it brings him along brings this very memory of him along!!!! 

It’s the waaaaaaays slightest of things brings him along lately like pretty much anything to everything even in the nights just staying up keeping your mind awake to check on your mom there was that sense of him scent of him shoulder of his as you lay over rest over and that one strong scent of him every other second it’s that sudden comfort when your mind was that disturbed it’s that sudden him holding you away even as you stay up and pray to baba!!!!!

It’s not just the rush that he comes along with it’s also in your most difficult time like recent one he comes along as weirdly insane as it sounds as much as you were most alone there was him…….so much in away that only made you wish for him for his presence for real with you beside you and not just in your head!!!!!!

Eyes!!!!!

 He would could say away a zillion more things just by the way he would look at you more than his words ever could…

Be it just before leaving his room that day for Bangalore the way he just holds you by your waist and just look at you with that one constant stare and then that moennt standing at the car and just watches you looks you in the eye amidst his family looking at him!!!

And that one nod of his and nobody else around gets it but you!!

To that moennt of finally seeing him that night holding you like with that one finally and initially makes you cry to just finally be able to live him touch him hold him be held by him and the waaaaaaaay seeing you cry it only made him happier with that one smiiiiile on him…comes closer asking you nobody ever loved me enough to cry for me like this miss me enough to cry like this!!!!!!!holding him away tightest as he talks away!!!!!!

It was that finalllky feeeel charlie like having found a meaning to love to know love to understand love to be loved the way he loved you…to just know and discover love and not any love but a love like him HIM!!!!!!!

Even writing it now saying it out a beautiful sigh your heart lives this very moennt…

It’s like suddenly you understand realise what longing feels like what loving someone feels like what living someone feels like like suddenly you connect more with them like suddenly absence only made that love that much stronger that it was before…!

To the next day when it was the avatar day so yeah he was back from Bangalore on the 20th actually night and the next day avatar with him his sister and mango ofc!!

And then to kee your hands off him not even touch him and him looking his gorgeous best hair grown daaadi grown and you couldn’t keep your eyes off him……this one time as you sit right behind him just bout to get in and he first time comes to hold the door for you and that ishaara asking you to touch him and hold his hand away holding the door for you……like it was that bad desperate to just touch him and him wanting the same too and you just couldn’t take your hand off him…

And mango from inside comments something and you finally had to get in and that one moennt made you happiest it’s that feeeeeeel again having felt the very same thing in that very moennt with him…

It’s beautiful it’s madness but it’s that spark of magic living someone and their details does to you!!

Like you couldn’t stop smiling after that moemnt like you ajd your moments literally eating him away the day before but that slightest touch of his hand and him wanting the same in that moennt meant the world to you!!!  

Something’s you recall and write and now feeeeel again!!!!!!!

SOME MOMENTS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sing miyaaaaaaaaaa how only you are being missed away again if you only knew had the slightest idea how only you are being missed away!!!!!!!!!

Him!!!!!!

 It’s that completeness of him the waaaaay there was this immense missing just living his details away to this newness of him that you absolutely loved and with that came these new feeeels for him as you keep touching feeling his daaadi away smelling him away and the waaaaaaay he was just smiling away and letting you do the things you were with his face and his shoulders to just feeeel touch him away……and the waaaay he would beech beech mein come closer to your ears and tell you something’s to telling you nai maloom tha my daaadi could make you feel this way would’ve grown long back and also was not sure if you would like it or not and didn’t know you would love it away that much…

It’s this thing charlie bout loving someone and seeing discovering finding this new detail bout them and loving as you discover for you it was that beauuuuuuuuuuutoful rawness that added beauty on him like you had pictured him on your mind in a way ready to see him cause you had one smallest picture of him back then all that missing time in baglore no other picture of his…and then to see him completely raw and that gorgeous you just couldn’t stop yourself from just feeeeling him away…literally couldn’t keep your hands off him!!

And writing writing realising how even now you just can’t keep your hands off from writing that one night over n over again in ways with details as you relive those very moments that very secnt of him away as you write now and the more you write now!!

Moments!!!!!

 Some moments no matter how long it has been they just live and breathe with you!!

It’s this one too that does the same thing to your mind as and when you live it…

Be it tat gap of missing and then seeing him for the first time that way like he could look like that too goes in your head it’s when you donno to look at him or breathe him or touch hold and taste him away!!!!!!

Like the second he holds you it’s that feeeeeeeeeel of that same touch same smell that same feeeeel of being held that same way like suddenly it all feels that familiar and new at the same time cause it’s been after that long…….like you remember that first hug of his that night this well the grip of his that strong around you like he never held you that way before and the waaaaaay he just wouldn’t move away as much as you try to move away just so you could chummi him but the waaaaaaaay he just wanted to feeel you away and that strongly like he had never before……to the way same ditto way he chummis away too like he had never before it’s like his way of living each moment to the max most and then moving to the other one…and you just couldn’t stop yourself from living him away just to move him away a bit and check him out his arms his shoulder in the jacket his daaaadi as you keep touching and sniffing him away…and that’s when he mentions bout the beer and you tell him that you did taste already and he gets embarrassed bout not having mint after which you were more than happy bout telling him you just loved tasting it as it was…..

It’s that feeeewwwwwel charlie when you are just that beauuuuuuuutofully high on someone instead of something…it’s always been him for you!!!!!!

It’s the waaaaaaaaay his presence used to zone your mind and all of you out like losing yourself in him living each detail of him away and getting high on that experience altogether!!

That night was one of those magical nights to experience him and not just live him after that gap of having missed him…

Smallest gap that it was thinking of it now back then felt the biggest !!!!!!!

Irony nai!!!!!!!!!

Birthday!!

 When it hits you the hardest was the birthday it’s one of those days when you again forget and only reminded by your mom and this time that one thought does he even remember you for real like do you even exist for real cause it’s the waaaaaaaaay this one memory keeps playing on loop on your ray…

Just before leaving for Bangalore you were at his place packing for him more loving him away as much and more as you could that his sister even mentions this way he would definitely miss his train that day the waaaaay there was this constant need of his for you to be as closest possible as you could with him and you keep moving checking his clothes to finally comes down his boxers and as you check ask him if he would this or that and the waaaaay he just stands close to his desktop and smiles away asking you you do realise the difference between boxers and shorts and those are my boxers btw and you just nod away and he skips few as you fold them and place it in his backpack……

To that next second the way he comes over holds you from behind not letting you move a second away from him…..to that moment of him bout to leave and the waaaaaaay he nods away just before getting into the car…

It was on the 21st he comes back from Bangalore and straight from the airport to see you and that very first hug he mentions the second he left for baglore the only thing on his mind was to see you first thing he was back…….also was the first time having lived him looking his gorgeous sexy self with a full grown daaaadi……and that khaki jacket of his!!!

Right there in the lift charlie like the second you see him even as you write now this clear that feeeeeeeling you felt for the first time like it was the first time from beautiful feel went sexy for him……..it’s that rawness of him wild daaaadi full grown him smiiiiiiling that lil high smile as he was a beer or two down that you eventually tasted too!!

But the way theofjb the lift grills that one feeeeeeeeeel that one rush for him soon as you see him and the way more than him you rush to open the grill away and the waaaaaay he takes you up and away in his arms something’s you write and this feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!! 

Over the weeks!!

 There have been a zillion moments n dreams having lived him the strongest waking up looking for him cause that’s how strongly you’ve felt his presence beside you with you even in the night at the hospital cause all of evening that’s how strongly you just missed him being with you…

From that moennt to those nights not sleeping staying up just so you could keep a check on your mom feeeeling him away then too……it’s all this beautiful madness of dreams and yet feel away this real to actually reading his name chippy calling on your old phone which you only use for music as backup on drives as you capture the moments on your main phone…

And you actually see his name flash on that very phone when u had to switch cause the 14 pro had issues and you had to leave for servicing and wake up with his name flash on your old phone and when the new one comes back too you just keep it for design and shoot images now…….go back to the old phone with that ONE STRONG hope and wish take it as a sign strangely madly so!!

These pictures words moments waking ups before it went bad that you’d been wanting to write out save away here…

Here it goes!!!!!!

Days of him magic and waking ups and moments till today!!

Is it you!!

 Is it just you and the missing lately or the nights reallllly does this to you and this whole thing of missing him away igniting it away multiple folds times!!!!!!

Like some sounds hit you away this beauuuuuutifully bringing back the exact vibe of the memory that you have been tripping over all this while last week…

Something’s this beauuuuuuutiful the waaaaaay it lands your mind in this zone this state of mind this magic of winter nights like these…it always brings him back almost every night cause it’s this very time that you had lived him the most MOST!!!!!!!!

This missing lately on another level altogether!!

And the sound of music adding this beautiful fuel to the fire burning already inside of you…!

Mr.Sunshine…!

 From a day of date with yourself to finally a movie night after very long!!

And few mins down and this one line Mr. Sunshine the only and eternal sunshine of your life - Him…

It’s been a day of calm mixed feels mixed thoughts and feeling most alone lately!!!!!

And then his sound of magic happens in a new place of all places and the waaaaay the vibe of this one track fits and syncs in this beautifully well with your state of mind… or state of missing him!!!!!

Words…!

 And the very thing you see read on the gram!!

How beautifully Satya vachan…!

Some words almost strike that chord and in sync this beautifully with you with your him missing all these years with the mood state of mind or the hour of the night and it rhymed!!

Peace in chaos!!

 How truly lucky is ringo in that one video that has been your only peace in chaos!!!!! This one thought everytime now you see that video almost on loop throfjb this week!!

Been the most hectic and traumatic of weeks ever experienced!!

Not wanting to write out and read out your own state of mind and again when you forget your own birthday a day away reminded by mom today…birthday what only I say!!!!!

when Sai baba does his magic by listening to your prayers and healing her this way this soon after all that!!!!! 

Now with that one more wish everytime you see him in this one adding to Sai babas list!!

Like through this week of sleepless nights there has been this one constant need to watch him, live that beauty of him in those videos and pictures and find your moennt of peace amidst chaos…and HOW!!!!!!

Time and again realising how one face can truly become your home and in one of the most beautiful of ways even in their absence the way it truly makes your heart smile within everytime now you see him literally watch him with anticipation same as ringos expression lip smacking away to food sitting there and you sitting lip smacking away to the sight n sound of Him…!

Held!!

 When right now all you need is just want to be held by him!!!!!!!

A different version of missing him lived last 2 days since the worst possible!!!!!

Mom slips a step and hospitalised with minor thing but to see blood to that extent and you shivered one complete day!!!!!!!

Be it tat very moment at the hospital watching her in pain and blood sight shiver be it right now just that need to be held right now!!!!!!

All through when you’ve missed that presence by your side but to make you feel that someone’s right there beside you with you and you are not alone and the only person Him…!

Some missing like this too!!

Right now!!!!!!

Visual magic!!

 And then to see this very texture of fabric that brings his touch along warmth along from back then...

One of your stoles that he most loved!!!!!!

Some days nai and this mind all the more!!!!!!

Kitttuuuuuuuuuuuu if you only knew how much how bad how mad you are being missed away subah subah bhi!!!!!!

Sound waves missing waves there needs to be things like these too...that travel far and beyond you exactly reaching where it needs to be!!

Waking up!!

 Waking up seconds back and this lost state of mind…

Cause this definitely was yet another one of the most BEAUTIFUL and yet confusing Himcomings you’ve lived him with…

Like THIS feeeeel right now reliving him from the dream!!

It’s the waaaaaaays he comes and this one today nothing like before!!!!!!!

Now you are lost!!!!!!!!

All the more!!!!!!!!!!!

Himcomings!!!!!!

 When there’s this BIG RUSHHHHHHHHHHHH of him right now literally pumping through you and even with a running nose literally you just had toooo get the workout in with an early shoot today!!!!! To just feeeeeeel him away!!!!!

The waaaaaaaaaaaaays he comes two two times and answers your mind awaaaaay and HOWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!  

Singgggg miyaaaaaaa if only you knew how onlyyyyyy you are being missed away I say!!!!!

THIS face this you since morning with that taste of him!!

How do you even act normal be normal on the outside with THIS him rush on your mind this morning!!!!!!!

Something’s!!!!!

 Him looking his gorgeouuuuuuus best self with that signature teeethy smile of his that he used to back then when happy super happy and in some selfies he used to share back then he used to have this one signature style of smiling…….and with some girl beside!!!!!

It’s that feeeeel you wishing him the best and also missing that very him away and HOW!!!!!!

With that one constant thing bout how absolutefckingly anybody is who gets live him anyway slightest of him bhi like somebody just walking past by him to be able to get a whiff of him brush their arm against him just walking past by him…..so just be able to live a glance of a second across the street to just live that beauuuuuuuuuuuty of him to just hear him talk watch him walk breathe the same air as him in the room across him!!!!!

Like from these lilst of things to the biggest of wishes of ways to live him to be able to love him and most importantly to be loved by Him…

Like ever since that moment of living him in that picture you struggle to not get those feeeels but you just can’t help it cause it’s that exact visual of him from the dreams cause you lived him that way THAT often…….

Him under him over black beauuutiful softest black shirt wide open and him looking that GORGEOUS away like for initial seconds you land in that confusion to live him live every detail of him away in that shirt or just jump right in eat him away kinda vibe!!!!!!

VISUAL of your dreams…!

Moments!!!!!!

 Today out for getting few things for house and studio plus some work stuff to be taken care of that was long over due!!!!

And this one time as she steps out for receiving the fabric stock from the dealer and leaves her fone back and you already had his music playing and that one feel you get when you can’t stop thinking looking at some object just laying around you…..like you keep looking at it looking back at you and that tick tock wait in you and you finally give in and there he was in that black shirt wiiiide open SADLY with a tee on the inside it must be the same look he did post few days back but as that had some lights around……you missed out on seeing the color of the shirt he was wearing in it!!

It was THE shirt of your dreams that you’ve lived and looooooooved him in!!  And HOW!!!!!!!!!!

Waaaaaaaays you’ve lived him in!!!!!!

And that moment when you see him in the very same thing exact cotton shirt and that one zooooop bolke mind craving to rip it off it’s those first things that hits your mind and the weird after feeel later and you see her coming immediately keep it back!!!!!

But the waaaaaaaaay that one image stays with you the aaaaaaay he looks that gorgeous the waaaaay that moennt left you with dream come true moemnt like to literally live a visual of him from the dream to life kinda vibe!!!!!

And you couldn’t stop your mind living that one visual that one wish to off it off your mind!!!!!!

As wrong as it feels like to see him stalk him literally and then to feeeeeel that way it’s all fcked up but something’s you can’t just can’t help it cause it came with that strong gut feeeeelnof a vision outta your dream to life to see him that way in that very same thing!!!!  

Moments!!!!!!

 U know that’s how much you’ve missed someone when you live an experience like THIS one!!!!!!!

THIS mind ever since that one picture of his and this feeeeeeeling the way that stays even after the waking up now with this stage of mind state of you now!!!!!

Dream.come true!!

 When you literally live a moemnt of your most looooooooooooooooved and lived dreams come true right now and can't wipe this smile and strong rushhhhhhh running through you right nowwwww!!!!!!!

Him in black shirt wide open saaaaaadly with a white t shirt on the inside but almost the exaaaaact same view as your dreams and you just wishhhhhh you could take her phone home tonight with that feeeeeeling of taking home away!!!!!!!!

Ayyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaa how sexxxxiiiiiiilyyyyyyy gorgeous does he look almost exactly same as your dreams!!!!!!!

It's this feeeeeeling right now dreams to a certain extent almost coming true if pnlyyyyy the complete version of the dream would come true just like this teaser trailer came true right now...

Sing miyaaaaaaaaaaaaa how onlyyyyyyyy yubwere missed abhiiiiii ke abhiiiiii!!!!!!!!

Moments!!!!!

 It was that very moment of the guy standing at the entrance looking at you brings that moemnt of him standing at the gym door like that stark difference……

That first visual did bring that much fear in you just by someone’s presence like then you didn’t even know how much worse it was going to be having that guy walk around looking at you before the girlfriend too and there was Him walking through the gym door and towards you that way and that very visual of him did fill you up with something that beauuuuuuuuutoful that very first time itself…like the first guy you looked at without blinking an eye or wanting to look away even with his head down looking at the tiles below and walking that way…….and that first time feeeel in you where everything on the inside felt that change felt that shift like something moved in you and boy it moved that strong it could never go back to what it was before him…

Like that one move with him and it’s been that way ever since then…

It’s that feeeeeeinf charlie when you compare two instances that had the biggest strongest impact on you one that was so negative and one that was the most beautiful thing ever happened in your life - Him…!

Lil did you know that one gorgeous being wonder of the world was soon going to change your life change you away and how!!!!!!

Like after that moennt you kept yourself in the other room staying that way with his music even after manager comes over worried what was wrong with you as you were shivering for 2-3 hours after that too!!!!!

And you were choking bad with fear couldn’t speak at all and that too did happen after very long cause too much fear chokes you like you can’t speak even if you try to!

And that need to come home and you just keep your head over your moms lap still imagining him away and just stay that way for an hour or two without changing and she without asking you knew it had to do something with that same fear so she doesn’t ask immediately!!!!

Something’s you recall as you write this feel again now!

Moments!!!!!

 To this other day the most difficult one to feeling grateful for having found a Him…

At the studio where the store staff leaves with the manager to get some fabric lot and you stay back working on the designs and color palette for the next upcoming one…..

And this call from the manager saying this client was coming over for measurements suddenly as she did place the order 2 days and wasn’t sure of the measurements she had earlier…

Usually the store staff attends client’s measurements and with them away you decide to take care of it client comes along with some other girl and a guy tall and weirdly hulk like they walkin and the guy stands in the middle of the entrance and looks at you like literally watches you!!!

And you feel that sense of fear that very first instance like the start of it and you instead switch to the others as she introduces herself and the other female being that guys girlfriend and they wanted another one for her too……and the guy instead comes before you and them behind the guy starts to ask your name and how long it’s been and stuff and you just mention how long it’s been and asks your name again….and then they ask for some outfit prices and you walk towards them and mention some meeting after you had to rush so can first move forward with the measurements in the measurements room…..they come and so does the guy too as you were measuring her the guy mentions bout keeping it lose from her chest and stuff and you ignore the comments and finally done they leave the room and you had to write down the name and delivery timeline stuff on the bill and the guy comes behind you and breathes over your neck literally saying you have beautiful skin too and that shiver of fear after a very long time as the girlfriend comes in asking for the guy and the guy mentions about giving her some skin care tips too and you were done by then…..ask her for the googlepay number and refund her order amount of 3 outfits together cancel the order on spot and ask them to leave……

As the guy keeps laughing asking your name again to be chill and stuff and you do it the way he showed you to back then look them in the eye like you are not scared and be rude but sternly rude and talk back……

Do it the same way showing the door asking them to leave immediately!

And that feeling after cause you were shivering the most crying that strong sense of fear after a very long time where you just hold yourself hug yourself and stay that way with his music playing and imagining him holding you strangely in that very moment too……it was your mind looking for most comfort most love in that moment and the only place you’d lived and felt it with was his arms…!

Dreams!!

 When you avoid watching scenes even when on your own late night movie watching jsut soooo it doesn’t make it worse what you already miss post his dreams…and then to live a part of it on big screen and the waaaay it takes you back to those almost moments with him when you lived almsot something with him at opera…the before and after visuals of him and umrushing through you ever since the movie…

To live that rush of him to live that rush for him and asking him not to stop and him stopping away saying not going beyond this and that rushhhhhh in you to hold him away hide away in him not knowing what you weee feeling away what you weee waiting away cause it was almost there…but that rush in you wanting more not knowing what!!

That beauuuuuuty of those moments was hiding away in him and the waaaaay he would hold you a lil away look you in the eye and raise one eye brow asking away what’s happening karely don’t know but just want to be close like post that you just wanted to smell him the closest feel him the closest touch him the closest for sometime always…..the way he would just let you be that way and talking something away on his own knowing exactly what and how you were confused feeling that way for him…and then slowly asking ab chale cause it used to get that late in evenings there…

Some moments you write and this sudden feeeeeel sudden rush it overloads you with right now is just beyond!!!!!!!!

To those very moments post bup with that same feeeo almsot there like the first time living it for real to that wait for the next time and he leaves for Bombay for his film then…

And then it was!!!!!!!!!!

It’s that feeeeel charlie when the only time you’ve ever felt ever lived with the only person you’ve felt or lived with or felt for that matter and!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sound of him!!!!!

 To the other day over breakfast after you cooking that is your mom out of nowhere asks you bout what do you dream bout when you dream…..and you had your mouthful of food and you stuff yourself even more asking her in that same tone cause that’s how fckikg nervous and shocked you were both at once recalling what dream did you have of his the night before like did it have the “the” moments or was it a normal one and the way she goes on bout you talking in your sleep that loud ki sh could hear it in her room……

And in your head you go ok so he was talking just talking till she again mentions bout the sounds you were making and again your mind qlll of you that lost and confused trying to recollect how did he actually come….cause that’s exaaaaactly how real the Himcomings are feeling away lately!!

And she again after a pause adds some sound she couldn’t understand must have been nothing and a final sigh of relief!!

Where the next day you actually self talk yourself into making low volume sounds talk low volumes just in case right before sleeping!!

To these other moennt at the studio lately where working on something with his music in the ears and you suddenly feeeeel away that strong rush of him and with it comes along that mornings dream or the moennt from the inversions that day…

Like it’s become this obvious this change in you lately with this change in his dreams lately that she actually comments over your recent change that evident that your mom actually asked her if you were meeting someone outside home…

IF ONLY THEY KNEW!!!!!!

Like it’s these inside laughs you have when you hear such things to this beauuuuuutful incident that very night when you heard your mom asking her this……that very night he comes and you were just laughjg away as he was over you in that gorgeeeeeeeousamsexyandiknowit black shirt of his all wide open and you were laughing away and the way he looks in your eyes and says I know right and you fataaak se ask him away you also know bout it…..like in your head in that moment you were recalling her asking if you were seeing somebody else and there’s you living him away every night day moment almost of your life I say!!!!!

And the way he connects with you in that very moment like he knew it too!!!!

It’s this thing that has most requently happened you living some moemnt through the day and he comes actually continuing that moennt away for you from that very place you left it at!!

Stories3!!!!

 Some movies do that to you evoke something in you like you can sense that shift of the before and after amidst everything somebody or everybody has been talking bout!!!!!

Cause what you feel the way you feel the way you live that story is completely different to what and how somebody else lived or felt!!

Like the waaaaay that feeeeeeeling post felt that beautifully private and exclusive…

Like it left you speechless or not being able to talk anything at all for a long time…….it’s his way of love it’s him that you were living and feeling away!!

That some essence of him just a small part of him in some way that strongly but the way it left that huge beautiful impact on you…

To these dreams lately that feel different the way he talks to you even writing something’s out this beautiful madness but he does even be it in the dream be it even his whispers just that sense of his voice that close to your ear to be able to feeeel that warmth of his lips that close to your ears as he whispers away or that sudden touch of him or that sudden strong sense of a bite of him over you even whilst watching something and you pass out and that sense of his bite over wakes you up smiling away with that sudden shiver rush through you!!!!!!!

And calling yoruself mad in moments like these to just be feeeelint him away to this extent even in his absence to still be able to smell him even after the waking up feel his touch over your arms neck over the back through the inversions and then getting this bad addicted to the very same that skipping it it’s all you can think of even at work…..of missing out on that touch or nibble of his that morning!!!

Stories3!!

 To that very moment of the color of love and the weird car scene but the waaaay it brings your moennt again with him…

Out just people watching in some mall it was and then some store and you checking men’s wear always and him in kurti section and the way he comes to your side of the store holding this kurti in his hand asking you to go try it on and the second you come out in that the way he looks at you with that smile on and you keep telling it was expensive for what it was worth and him nodding away and then comes closer showing you the color of his love over your neck and this part of the kurti in same color as that……as it was just around your neck area and that feeeeeeeeel!!!!!!

Like all he wanted to see in that moennt was to see ur match with that color of his over you!! And you convince him saying not to buy that cause it was expensive and the color over you was more prettier than that one!!!!!

It’s like living those moments of yours wity the story and you couldn’t stop smiling even scene after and they commented over that too how could you even enjoy those scenes that much like the movie was bad influence and shit like that but all you could feeeeel is that beautiful part of you being set free living him away visually in those moments!!!!!

To the post movie reviews them sharing bout how anti feminist the movie was and violence and stuff and all you could comment was that they must watch Tarantino movies or few series on Netflix itself that were much more violent without any context or story related what so ever…..

Every movie every story a storyteller says conveys is a freedom of expression people cannot comment over what stories someone must say or share it’s their story after all so must have that basic liberty to say it or share it their way what works for them the best……

And the story wasn’t bout the girl it was bout the guys love for his father and the story around the same topic…..

It’s these moments that they did bring along yours with him…and the way post that them commenting bout how a guy who loves your feet doesn’t even exist and it was so superficial and in your head I just got that lucky in life smiling away on the inside with the widest smile possible……

Like in your head you think you were smiling on the inside till that moennt someone comments over how you’ve been non stop smiling after a movie that one!!!!!

It immediately goes to your fav list for more reasons than just one…!