Ditto moment!!!!!!

 That moment when you wake up and stay up for a bit cause you couldn’t get over how HOW close you were to chummi him and you woke up without it!!!!!!

And ekdum realise it was the same moment from Versova too when you were at his knees trying to do his hairdo and ekdum see he raises his arms wide open like that final green flag for you to runnnn rushhhhh to him to hold him away!!!!!!

It al just feeeels this beautifully weird charlie sometimes when you think of it if things are the way you think they are then how is it that you still feel all this away feel him away in moments like these like he is there the way he is there the waaaaaays he makes you feel when he comes it’s just not a dream or a vision charlie the way it feels like a continuation like that word of his reaching out to you as crazy as this sounds writing out how is it that you still feel all this away!!!!!!

Feel his THAT much love away!!!!!!!!

That THAT One meet the visual of his clothes on somebody random and the way it just brought back that many moments with him where once when you fall off the couch wrestling with him and hit your head against plugpoint that bad and you blank out for  a second and that scares him away and you say to make things calm n normal again that you could see dinosaurs flying dinosaurs instead of those flying birds like they show in the carroons and the way he chuckles away that THAAAAAAT ADOOOOOOOOOORABLY holding your head massaging away and chummis you in that very moment saying I love you howli!!!!!!

In that moment you literally had to hold back your organs suck it all away hold your breath hold ALL OF YOU away inside just sooo you didn’t react slightestttt bhi to what he had just said in the rush of the moemnt as he was still holding yiu masaasging your head away and that THAT ALEVEL OF KHSUHI rushiiiiing inside of you where you could just runnnnn away to some mountain top and scream your organs out saying he just said he still loved me!!!!!!!!

Like to be that level of happy on the inside and stay all calm and non reactive on the outside was the ultimate test of it all I say!!!!!

Something’s you relive and write now close your eyes and you can still hear him say from that very moment his voice that clear that sound beauuuuuuuutifuk sound of his chuckle this THIS clear!!!!!!!!!!