Acceptance or the fear !!

to think of it now as you write it out actually its that sense of being unsure....

if its the acceptance or the fear actually of being able to go through the same thing all over again.....

like this time you did survive through even through the worst mental state that you were in.....

and that fear of not wanting to go through it again and now seeing it more than often now like you tend to fear that again..... and that need to stay away from feeling it again.....

like you could do with this no talk of his with this absence of his but that same feeeeel of being pushed away again by him.... you cant anymore !!

ab nai hotaaa charlie.....

just cant !!!!!!!!

maybe then its not the acceptance as much as it is the fear of feeing the same thing again....

from wheer to where again it went i say.....

exactly why you stay away from writing this state of mind like the waaay you did feel last few nites watching it rain and feeling it again, another rain it is another same wait it was......