Soooo bad!!!!!

 How you wish you were down by a drink to just write it out I swear!!!!!!!

The wayaaaaaaaa he actually came this morning to this very mkennt even in the morning waking up and not finding him still was most difficult for to understand and make sense with it!!!!!

His eyes his touch his him evrythung on loop from these moments!!!!!!

It’s this line of difference charlie from all of that and then suddenly it’s just you on the bed looking for him wondering what just happened how suddenly it all disappeared and back to normal all around with his absence…….

Like it takes a few mins for you to make sense be it this morning or sometime back now to realise it was a dream this morning too you had to rush to work cause of some styling commitment but you still get that lil timeout to stretch just so you could relive him again doesn’t happen but the waaaaaaay that face of his that expression that sound of his from this morning stays with you all day long like you struggle to have a straight face on with that THAT much him rushing through you like he actually left a switch on and you still had to pretend like it was all normal and you were all ok and present in that moment of discussions and finalising……

It’s this thing charlie when it comes to this side of living and loving him and the after affects of it it leaves you with like you just can’t immediately get back to normal cause you are stillllllll that high on all him like aaj tho it was heights when you could still smell him from this mornin moments today at the Film studio meet like you are sitting there people around manager saying something but visually sound wise feeeeel wise scent wise alll you could see hear feeeeel smell and live was just him!!!!!!

Like evrythung else around didn’t even exist all you could see live was his from this morning her voice goes dead over your ears his sound just his sound from the moments playing on loop!!!!!!

Even writing it now reliving it again thisssssaaaa feeeeeeeeel!!!!!!!