the beauty that remained even after the irony of the block was firstly to just know he is fine to hear from him after the longest and more so to see him same like back then almost actually.... cause he just looked the same !!
like that one visual of him in that jacket and that face of his in the jacket from the lift with that full grown beauty of his daaaaaaaaaadi like that one visual to this one......
almost pretty much summed up your life only i say !!!!!!!!
that one same him and so many changes !!!!!!!!!!
its like that one pic of his almost gave back life to that visual of his from your memory...
like you know make it come alive back again wali feeling it was....
and then the usual aftermath of the block just like always.....
to the other beauty being having lived the rains of this years monsoon in a way with his presence...
again your own way just like the last time in monsoons as you were standing out living the rains and living him in your mind as it rained on your face and he msgs you in that very moment.....
this year too almost the same !!
hurts a lot for the day next day too and for the week ahead.....
only the next day request him not to unblock you again just so you dont have to keep feeling it all over again from the start !!
just so you might as well get used to this side of the story too !!
hoping with time at least......
it was that realization looking back at it now you cant change things and one of them the most unchangeable one is how someone treats you or where you stand in someones life.....
you have no absolute control over it the only thing you can stick with is how you wish to have them in your life...
and this you did realize just living him regardless of all these things is where you are at most peace.....
cause in your mind you are still living that side of his love the love side.....
feels weirdly stranger now writing this out !!!!!!!!!!
not sure how to describe the exact thing out !!!!!!!!!!!!
every single time you live relive that moment of sudden blokc the waaaaaaay it just zones out your mind ekdum seeeeeee..................
even writing it now and the waaaaaaaaay it still affects you !!!!!!!!!!!
this way !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ekdum seeeeeee !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
like that one visual of him in that jacket and that face of his in the jacket from the lift with that full grown beauty of his daaaaaaaaaadi like that one visual to this one......
almost pretty much summed up your life only i say !!!!!!!!
that one same him and so many changes !!!!!!!!!!
its like that one pic of his almost gave back life to that visual of his from your memory...
like you know make it come alive back again wali feeling it was....
and then the usual aftermath of the block just like always.....
to the other beauty being having lived the rains of this years monsoon in a way with his presence...
again your own way just like the last time in monsoons as you were standing out living the rains and living him in your mind as it rained on your face and he msgs you in that very moment.....
this year too almost the same !!
hurts a lot for the day next day too and for the week ahead.....
only the next day request him not to unblock you again just so you dont have to keep feeling it all over again from the start !!
just so you might as well get used to this side of the story too !!
hoping with time at least......
it was that realization looking back at it now you cant change things and one of them the most unchangeable one is how someone treats you or where you stand in someones life.....
you have no absolute control over it the only thing you can stick with is how you wish to have them in your life...
and this you did realize just living him regardless of all these things is where you are at most peace.....
cause in your mind you are still living that side of his love the love side.....
feels weirdly stranger now writing this out !!!!!!!!!!
not sure how to describe the exact thing out !!!!!!!!!!!!
every single time you live relive that moment of sudden blokc the waaaaaaay it just zones out your mind ekdum seeeeeee..................
even writing it now and the waaaaaaaaay it still affects you !!!!!!!!!!!
this way !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ekdum seeeeeee !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: only a member of this blog may post a comment.