when you pas out morning still writing over the laptop and your mom wakes you up asking you to sleep properly and stop talking.....
that swhen you realize you still were talking smthing in mind still writing him...
how why what it gives you you still donnoooo but its like that need just that need to write him cause you cant tell him you cant talk to him you cant message txt or whatever anything him....
and with that THAT much him still in you like keeping it to yourself and not telling him how much you miss him in waaaaays you missed not being able to say it all and for that matter not being able to sya it out to anybody anything at all and like this was the only waaay you could say it all out like just get it out of you......
with that feeeel of atleast you said it !!
its like there is this ocean of questions things you want to tell him ask him most importantly but the sec even for that lilst sec he msgs you for you couldnt say a word.....
cause you were that caught up with his picture with his presence with that feeel need to live him bas.....
also cause you coudlnt save the pic and knowing he dint really add you back or smthing cause you couldnt save his pic neither could you see his status.... and that feeeling still there anytime now he will block you back and instead of seeing his msg you just be livin him.... and of all the pictures things he couldve worn it was that one jacket.....
that one beauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuutiful him wrapped up in the most beautiful memory of your life.... one of the most beautiful memories actually !!
it was that feeeeel of the end of missing and coming together of being together...
like you just see him live him and the waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay the him from back then plays through you his daaaadi in the pic his almost straight face and his eyes hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm his eyes you could happppppily drown away in......
just the waaaaaaaaay he looks in that pic with that feeeeel of almost looking through you his signature stares i say !!!!!!!!
soooooooooooooo yaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh !!!!!!!!!!!!!
again where to where only!!!!!!!!
and when he asks whats new there was that ocean of questions you wanted to ask nd then there was that one feel just that one thought anytime any moment now he will anyway block you back what was the point even..... like you ask smthing expect some reply when there is that scope space for sorting smthing out or clearing smthing out but in that moment when you realize he was just there for that momen for a min or max two....
and you just let it be....
no questions asked no expectation for a reply and you just be instead what he had to ask or say.....
and jjust make the most of living him for as long or as lil as you could.....
that one helplessness when you couldnt save the picture was teh worst of all !!!!!!
i swear charlie more than anything even his fractionth sec of presence all that it left you with was not being able to save that one picture of his !!!!!!!
agaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaain where to where !!!!!!!!
soooo yahhhh !!!!!!!!1
when your mom mentions bout you still talking and you realize theres that much you want to tell him and you couldnt and the way it lead to this...... writing yourself out somewhere kahi tho in some corner thats just yours.....
be it a good day happy day or most importantly when its a bad or even worse day just that neeeed to write yourself out just so you get that feeel of having shared it....
its complete madness but also prolly the only thing that still keeps you sane...
with all this running through your mind and not knowing where you are heading, this thing bout still being able to write yourself out write him out most importantly keeps you sane...
missing him and then finding him like it did become that one beautiful purpose happiness contentment in life i say....
coming back to that one question of his what if some day I'm not there how will you be without me....
never for a day not even for a second...
one smthing you could never learn to be with !!
its the Him that you live through that completes your life, completes you...!
that swhen you realize you still were talking smthing in mind still writing him...
how why what it gives you you still donnoooo but its like that need just that need to write him cause you cant tell him you cant talk to him you cant message txt or whatever anything him....
and with that THAT much him still in you like keeping it to yourself and not telling him how much you miss him in waaaaays you missed not being able to say it all and for that matter not being able to sya it out to anybody anything at all and like this was the only waaay you could say it all out like just get it out of you......
with that feeeel of atleast you said it !!
its like there is this ocean of questions things you want to tell him ask him most importantly but the sec even for that lilst sec he msgs you for you couldnt say a word.....
cause you were that caught up with his picture with his presence with that feeel need to live him bas.....
also cause you coudlnt save the pic and knowing he dint really add you back or smthing cause you couldnt save his pic neither could you see his status.... and that feeeling still there anytime now he will block you back and instead of seeing his msg you just be livin him.... and of all the pictures things he couldve worn it was that one jacket.....
that one beauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuutiful him wrapped up in the most beautiful memory of your life.... one of the most beautiful memories actually !!
it was that feeeeel of the end of missing and coming together of being together...
like you just see him live him and the waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay the him from back then plays through you his daaaadi in the pic his almost straight face and his eyes hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm his eyes you could happppppily drown away in......
just the waaaaaaaaay he looks in that pic with that feeeeel of almost looking through you his signature stares i say !!!!!!!!
soooooooooooooo yaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh !!!!!!!!!!!!!
again where to where only!!!!!!!!
and when he asks whats new there was that ocean of questions you wanted to ask nd then there was that one feel just that one thought anytime any moment now he will anyway block you back what was the point even..... like you ask smthing expect some reply when there is that scope space for sorting smthing out or clearing smthing out but in that moment when you realize he was just there for that momen for a min or max two....
and you just let it be....
no questions asked no expectation for a reply and you just be instead what he had to ask or say.....
and jjust make the most of living him for as long or as lil as you could.....
that one helplessness when you couldnt save the picture was teh worst of all !!!!!!
i swear charlie more than anything even his fractionth sec of presence all that it left you with was not being able to save that one picture of his !!!!!!!
agaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaain where to where !!!!!!!!
soooo yahhhh !!!!!!!!1
when your mom mentions bout you still talking and you realize theres that much you want to tell him and you couldnt and the way it lead to this...... writing yourself out somewhere kahi tho in some corner thats just yours.....
be it a good day happy day or most importantly when its a bad or even worse day just that neeeed to write yourself out just so you get that feeel of having shared it....
its complete madness but also prolly the only thing that still keeps you sane...
with all this running through your mind and not knowing where you are heading, this thing bout still being able to write yourself out write him out most importantly keeps you sane...
missing him and then finding him like it did become that one beautiful purpose happiness contentment in life i say....
coming back to that one question of his what if some day I'm not there how will you be without me....
never for a day not even for a second...
one smthing you could never learn to be with !!
its the Him that you live through that completes your life, completes you...!
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