right after seeing that block trying to get a hold on yourself as you had your mom right next to you....
get back to living the rains trying to make sense of what just happened like your mind dint really know if to keep replaying that one beauty of him in the same most loved jacket from back then..... or to not breakdown over the same reason all over again !!!!!
like it was that mix of too much happiness of seeing finally hearing from him be it a word or two bhi to just hear from him and then not sure how to react over the block again !!
its that one question that pops up every single time youve lived that block for years now - how disgusted he truly msut be of your presence to be able to do that in that kinda rush that kinda emergency like that neeeeeeed to just get away from you !!!!!!!!!
like it makes you question your own existence like what you are what kind you are !!!!!
questions like these and with much more disgusted feeel bout your own self rushing you finally block him prolly the next day or smthing.....
this time again with that one fixed thing never again !!
never again will you ever unblock him even if he does....
like you were that sure of it this time...
like to just get away this time !!!!!!!!
finally back home back to work and that same need to just be off writing....
cause the waaaaaaaay one thing of him leads to another and before you know by the time you are reliving him in the details you end with much more worser missing than before you started writing....
like it only gets that beautifully worse with eevery word down...
like it grows with word....
to the aftermath of writing some special much loved memories when you end up missing him all themore like you wanted to get a hold on yourself cause it was taking you nowhere !!!!
and this dream yesterday like you could only hear him like he was shut in some room cause you could make out from the echo of his voice lke it was a shut room and he zorsee calls out your name.....
like keep calling your name 3-4 times like it was a closed room and the sound of his voice like he wanted your help the waaaaaaaay he just keep calling you and you wake up disturbed with that weird strong feeeeeeel in your stomach like that one restlessness again.....
again lands you in the same thing like the only way you could make what you just felt better was in your way to be there for him.....
unblock him away.....
it never made any sense it never will as to what the connecttion is even.......
but again the way it makes you feel after you unblock is smthing else!
smthings you just donnoooooooo why what or how but just bout how it sort of feels like some answer to the question you just dreamt bout......
as weird as it sounds in that very moment as you wake up thats exactly what and how it makes you feel like - like one question that you need to find the answer of !!
get back to living the rains trying to make sense of what just happened like your mind dint really know if to keep replaying that one beauty of him in the same most loved jacket from back then..... or to not breakdown over the same reason all over again !!!!!
like it was that mix of too much happiness of seeing finally hearing from him be it a word or two bhi to just hear from him and then not sure how to react over the block again !!
its that one question that pops up every single time youve lived that block for years now - how disgusted he truly msut be of your presence to be able to do that in that kinda rush that kinda emergency like that neeeeeeed to just get away from you !!!!!!!!!
like it makes you question your own existence like what you are what kind you are !!!!!
questions like these and with much more disgusted feeel bout your own self rushing you finally block him prolly the next day or smthing.....
this time again with that one fixed thing never again !!
never again will you ever unblock him even if he does....
like you were that sure of it this time...
like to just get away this time !!!!!!!!
finally back home back to work and that same need to just be off writing....
cause the waaaaaaaay one thing of him leads to another and before you know by the time you are reliving him in the details you end with much more worser missing than before you started writing....
like it only gets that beautifully worse with eevery word down...
like it grows with word....
to the aftermath of writing some special much loved memories when you end up missing him all themore like you wanted to get a hold on yourself cause it was taking you nowhere !!!!
and this dream yesterday like you could only hear him like he was shut in some room cause you could make out from the echo of his voice lke it was a shut room and he zorsee calls out your name.....
like keep calling your name 3-4 times like it was a closed room and the sound of his voice like he wanted your help the waaaaaaaay he just keep calling you and you wake up disturbed with that weird strong feeeeeeel in your stomach like that one restlessness again.....
again lands you in the same thing like the only way you could make what you just felt better was in your way to be there for him.....
unblock him away.....
it never made any sense it never will as to what the connecttion is even.......
but again the way it makes you feel after you unblock is smthing else!
smthings you just donnoooooooo why what or how but just bout how it sort of feels like some answer to the question you just dreamt bout......
as weird as it sounds in that very moment as you wake up thats exactly what and how it makes you feel like - like one question that you need to find the answer of !!
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