All these months that you’ve been living this shift of him you’ve been waiting for some sign for real like trying to connect dreams n moments with reality like add some sense to what you are feeling away!!!!!
Some sign from him in his stories some block change nothing at all……
And then there’s this side of your life like two times in a row when he comes like this in the morning and for reasons you can’t write out the details but this feeeeewewweeelinf it left you with this time not just your mind but on your skin…
That touch of him the way he touched felt you to that missing for his skin…….it’s that state of mind like your mind completely absent to the world outside no matter where you are what you are doing you keep feeling yourself away missing his skin against away!!!!!!
It’s absolute madness even today at this cafe waiting for your order you were standing at the counter with music playing in your ears and you keep touching feeling your arms away…….and reliving the moment from this mornings dream ro the lunch moment and feeling your own feet away under the table cause that’s how badly you were missing his touch that sense and feel of him!!!!!
Like you try to not miss him this way and miss him normally like you used to all these years but nai hora charlie like your mind keeeeps doing this thing of going back to the morning dreams moments reliving it playing it on loop intentionally making it all this beautifully worse for you!!!!!
Knowing it doesn’t even make sense but it’s this helplessness like you just can’t take it to be some random him highd dream moment cause that’s how strongly he felt real……just imagine meeting him with still manageable moments and after coming home you needed still needed that space to get back to normalcy more so on the outside just so you could put up a straight face at home……
And now tho wity this level of Himcomings lately how do you even stay normal act normal and take these to be just dreams cause him and the moments and the ways he comes now doesn’t feel like just dreams…!
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