something's!!!!!

 U are good with music it's like you don't need something else to get high on or ease out your mind cause it does better than even gin does actually!!!!

But that day maybe it was that need to relive that meet relive the lilst details from that meet cause that also was the day you felt loved by him again same way wanting you to stay over to just showing you he still loved you!!!!

From the initial moments to just being the same kid again with him wrestling away standing over his couch just like you used to back again falling hurting and then at it again to the moments to him just holding you close living your details not letting you say a word or uttering one just that sound of his breath his music and that magic if his presence....

His presence right from the start is where you felt that soul pull right from the very start.....

It's like suddenly everything in you pulls you to that spot that one person like no other!!!!!

That one meet reliving everything almost that you used to back then with new things added to that mirror moment finally as you brush your hair he comes over stands beside you holds you looking in the mirror and in ishaara telling you how you looked just right with him beside again very same thing he used to back then in those zillion other mirror moments with him.....

It's like life playing on loop charlie literally on loop and you waiting to catch a glimpse of it to relive it!!!!!

U lost the most important crucial part of you with Him!!!!!

It happened with him and it's gone with him!!!!!!

Realising that you living that you it's like you met you with him, childhood unlived lived with him everything bout touch love physical connection that ú9u feared lived loved with him it's that big chunk of you that was the most you that felt most alive was with him... Off with him i say!!!!!

Even now zonnin out slipping into a nap with slightest chill and that one smell of his presence charlie it's the way he used to tell you still asleep idhar he hu howli!!!!

When COVID finally did bring him back for the moments is when you also finally realise you are def not like the normal people i say!!!!!!