chills n feels!!2

 First 2-3 nights were worst to deal with its that whole state of mind charlie like always with fever on mind that deep state of discomfort it's that unsettling feel with high temperature chills n stuff and the weird cramps with it keep changing sides and that one turn that one smell and you just knowwwwwwww finally FINALLLLLY there he was!!!!!!!

Don't move a bit not the eyes too just stay that way and try to look for him with just your hand and nose sniffing away how close he was and that one second the way he just holds your hand away away from you close to him over his chest andbjust stays that way like you could literally feel his heartbeat it strangeky very beautifully that is the way it made you feel like he was in q way showing you that he actually was there with you making you feel his heartbeat as crazy as this sounds the way he just places your hand that way and that one tap over your palm and that one feeeeel of assurance and sleep away exactly that way.....

It happened over n over again through the jlnaps in the day too where you could hear him whisper something holding you running his over you it was that comforting withbthe cramps it's that inexplicable feeeel charlie his voice his am here his adoooorable chuckle sound to just that comfort of his presence....

It's that strange starnge feel now that you are much better than what you were days back what do you even go by with...

Go by with the things he tells you with that goodbye of his in the recent chat or the things he never tells you or the untold moments like these where all you still feel is his love for you him time n again making you realise he still loved you....

Even now trying to watch some doc and you keep zoning out recalling thise moments you felt his presence his comfort his love for you ij moments actually telling you I love you you just donno what's even happening?!!!!!

There is a goodbye and then there are moments like these that you just can't take em to be your mind hallucinations or just random moment...

Cause aise tho you miss him every day not a day moment goes by that you don't think of him or miss him but only these moments and especially a dream dreams of his after this long!!!!!!