Weird lil heart !!

maybe its the weird lil heart sort finding its own way to deal with that much missing or sort of making up for the absence in its own way.....

now as you write this feeeling when it feels even weirder writing your mind out cause as it is feeling him this way living him this way feels that much more weirder after the moment has gone by.....

be it a day or two back that dream of his from the zillion dreams that just does it for you.... or that momnet when you literally could hear him yelling at you like actually hear his voice for real yelling at you in that very moment....

few weeks back before all this happened you were at this store done with fabric sourcing and bags in your hand just bout  to get in the car with one hand at the top edge of the door and before you even could sense what was happening with your thumb out the window closes up and you choke that bad with pain you couldnt even utter a single word and the security guy of that store screams at your driver asking to lower the window immediately with the thumb bleeding you shivering with your thumb worse state possible like you couldnt even look at it neither could say anything and  that very moment right amidst that crying shaking with hand shivering that bad you hear him his voice right then and there zaraaa dekhneeee nai hotaa terko kyaa hai yeeeeee howli !!!!!!

and like everything else always disappears the pain for that second that moment woooosh bolke vanishes and you still shaking look to your side for him..... like his voice his words that close to your ears like he was sitting right there and yelling at you just like he used to....

and that very same sec that one weird thought at that very moment if he wouldve been there and smthing like that wouldve happened kyaaa kartaa thaa ki une driver ku !!

it was a weird thought i know and now that you are writing that moment it feels even weirder.....

how why or what it was even bout despite of knowing the reality now....

just like what you felt moments back when the songs had this weird lonely vibe and that feeeeeeling why lonely now !!!!

you try n ignore cause you know !!!!!

smthings nai charlie how strongly you sense smthings like why or what in those moments you cant really tell or define it out....

it just is the way it is....

all through that day more than the thumb your mind was replaying his voice on loop.... like how did that even happen !!!!!!

maybe it is the heart after all cause its been that THAT loooooooved by him....

its that feeling charlie from that one movie anything happens to you slightest bhi you know you have that one person that would be affected with anything to do with you..... like that one someone in your life who would be affected the most if anything at all happens like littlest of things bhi....

love after all is all bout the details and in the details... the moments you live through days weeks months years its in every lil detail..... you dont have to look for it you just can feel it like you know when you live that lil moment that changes it all for you !!

how or what the logic was never really matters or makes sense !!