Wednesday 8 April 2020

Moments, visions...

this thing bout moments and how they can make you feel is beyond any reason justification or logic....

be it that moment when your thumb was bleeding to hear him yell at you just like he used to back then..... or the many mornings to just wake up to his smell or find yourself looking around for him.... or to that moment of just watching his hands holding onto your tee like he literally bundles up the corner of your tee in his fist that strongly in his grip making sure he either tears it cause he dint like that color on you or holds it tight enough just soo you dont go away...

or this one pic that one of your fav pages posted chummi wali pic it was one of your most looooooooooooooooooved things to do to his face chummi him when he was least expecting it.... like literally chummiii his face away in that one lil chummi....

everytime he would talk that cute baby talk with his lucky back then like kya hua bombiii kv acha nai daali khaana aaj or when him eating that bar of dairymilk and lucky would just stand there watch him eat and wait for his turn.... the waaaay he would nod away and have that one adoooooooorable llil kid talk with lucky those liil conversations of him having that baby talk with lucky and it always used to make you hold his face away ekdum see and chummmiiii his complete face with that one chummmi and the waaaaaaaaaay he would just stay there still looking at you as you chummi him cause that was the only moment when you actually would have your eyes open in chummi cause that moment was to just live him through themoment.... make the most of that moment make the most of his face in that very moment it was another one of those most looooooooooooooooooooooooooved moments bout him.....

its just smthing charlie that you cant really explain what it can do to you.....

how it can change you !!!!!!!

in waaaaaaaay sit can change you !!!!!!!

so was this moment to just watch him hold onto your tee that way and you just add him back....

still having that self talk as you do so you are just adding him back knowing it all bhi !!

heights of shamelessness it all feels smtimes but nai maloom charlie.....

its not even upto me nai malooom kya karu how do you even get a hold on such situations and the way they make you feel.....

you know its wrong you know this is not how it should be how YOU should be and YET !!!!!!!!!!

maybe its the part when you lose that track of reality and stick with what you felt in that moment....

hitting that send in that mail cause it just gets wrose by the day in bombay and the more news you follow the weirder it gets in your head....

that only wish that one pray before you sleep the only one him to be safe and healthy.....

this kind of situation is smthing none of us were prepared for or could ever imagine smthing like this too could possibly happen.....

and then to not know if he is okay he is safe like the love of your life after all !!!!!

that one person that matters the most in your life and you dont even know !!!!!!!!!

and like always stick with what was your priority and mail him leaving all that shame away abut i swear charlie the after of moments like these of hitting that send button always is the worst feeling ever....

like why do you do that he has people he loves and wants to be with he did make sure what your place was and how he wanted you to be away and YET !!!!!!!!

like do smthing when thats the last thing that the person wants out of you !!

like all of these logics reasoning is one side and the other side of it - Him...

to just know to just do and go with what and how his presence even be it in the dream made you feel like in that very moment - to just be there for him !!

like everything else on one side and what he made you feel like is all that mattered and like always you go with what your priority in life has always been...


No comments:

Post a Comment

Note: only a member of this blog may post a comment.