loving him living him and then years of missing him....
lil did you know you would miss him this way too live him this way too in somebody else.... and love every bit of it knowing its all messed up !!!!!!!
today out for a walk again on a different time just so you could miss out on walking around with yash.... and there was walking and the sec he sees you the way he starts off in hindi just like Him in that same pairaa duk gayee kidhar the tum....
and that feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeling the sec you hear you hear that tone that same tone of His.... and you tell him to stick with english pls and says sure madam and get back to the walk....
that feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeling charlie that one feeeeeeeeeeeeeeling you know you are being selfish weird crazy missing Him living Him this way and yet you cant help it now.....
just that feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeling charlie.....
to not look at the persons face with that just that feeeeeeeeeeeeeel of Him beside you is doing it for you...... like you actually wait for that hour now....
from making you a part of every corner of His life every part of Him to not wanting to have you anywhere no where leave alone close but not even around Him was a life changing reality for you....
from that moment of Him blocking you away that very sec when you just see his story on insta to Him asking you not to mail him or anything to finally seeing Him moving on.....
to the one that changed it all completely for you like it never before did all these years.... that one realization you neveer mattered even in a time like this.....
to still missing him still missing his presence.... to still loving him.....
like bas hai tho hai how do you talk to your insides out ye bolke ke ki boss outside sab change ho gaya hai and you on the inside too will have to go with it....
kaise hote aisa charlie !!!!!!!!
like how does it even work !!!!!!
to finally living Him this way !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
never did you ever think imagine this toooooo could make you live Him this way !!!!!!!!!!
like you are listening to the conversations yash is having with you but in your mind that shadow beside you that person beside you is Him..... cause he wears threeforths same height almost.... and more so its because you never had anyone else beisde you but Him.... like that experience of sharing a walk sharing conversations laughing over em have been moments you just shared with Him....
and then to have soeone else with this state of mind that you are in its like its taking up that space and filling it up with Him....
like in your mind its your escape of missing living those moments with Him.....
uskuuu kaiseeeee kaiseeeeeeeeee miss kiya maine charlie ye aaj kal pata chalra....
like this was also smthing you missed bout Him.... this too was smthing you wanted to do live with Him..... this too was smthing you wanted Him to be with you as.....
like you somebody talking to you wanting to be with you wanting to walk with you share that moment share the evenings with you.... like you know that feeeeeling of you exist you do exist for real....
like after all this time you are visible.... you exist !!
lil did you know you would miss him this way too live him this way too in somebody else.... and love every bit of it knowing its all messed up !!!!!!!
today out for a walk again on a different time just so you could miss out on walking around with yash.... and there was walking and the sec he sees you the way he starts off in hindi just like Him in that same pairaa duk gayee kidhar the tum....
and that feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeling the sec you hear you hear that tone that same tone of His.... and you tell him to stick with english pls and says sure madam and get back to the walk....
that feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeling charlie that one feeeeeeeeeeeeeeling you know you are being selfish weird crazy missing Him living Him this way and yet you cant help it now.....
just that feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeling charlie.....
to not look at the persons face with that just that feeeeeeeeeeeeeel of Him beside you is doing it for you...... like you actually wait for that hour now....
from making you a part of every corner of His life every part of Him to not wanting to have you anywhere no where leave alone close but not even around Him was a life changing reality for you....
from that moment of Him blocking you away that very sec when you just see his story on insta to Him asking you not to mail him or anything to finally seeing Him moving on.....
to the one that changed it all completely for you like it never before did all these years.... that one realization you neveer mattered even in a time like this.....
to still missing him still missing his presence.... to still loving him.....
like bas hai tho hai how do you talk to your insides out ye bolke ke ki boss outside sab change ho gaya hai and you on the inside too will have to go with it....
kaise hote aisa charlie !!!!!!!!
like how does it even work !!!!!!
to finally living Him this way !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
never did you ever think imagine this toooooo could make you live Him this way !!!!!!!!!!
like you are listening to the conversations yash is having with you but in your mind that shadow beside you that person beside you is Him..... cause he wears threeforths same height almost.... and more so its because you never had anyone else beisde you but Him.... like that experience of sharing a walk sharing conversations laughing over em have been moments you just shared with Him....
and then to have soeone else with this state of mind that you are in its like its taking up that space and filling it up with Him....
like in your mind its your escape of missing living those moments with Him.....
uskuuu kaiseeeee kaiseeeeeeeeee miss kiya maine charlie ye aaj kal pata chalra....
like this was also smthing you missed bout Him.... this too was smthing you wanted to do live with Him..... this too was smthing you wanted Him to be with you as.....
like you somebody talking to you wanting to be with you wanting to walk with you share that moment share the evenings with you.... like you know that feeeeeling of you exist you do exist for real....
like after all this time you are visible.... you exist !!
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