October!!!!

 It’s this mix of feeels this one month makes you feel!!!!!

There are moments of looking for this custom furniture guy and you come across this one temple on a hilltop that looks exactly like your Sanghi one and you stop the diver get off and ask the manager to go ahead….

Late afternoon temple obviously closed which now you know back then he knew and you didn’t!!!!

Stay there and that feeeel it fills you up with!!!!!

Every single year this time of the year that one only loud echo through you - He loved you THAT much????!!!!

It’s like moment of self amazement it always leaves you with!!!!

If it wasn’t for this months memories and moment he still would’ve felt like one of the most beautiful fragments of your dream!!!!

This one month and the way it makes you feel every single time every single day those conversations living him from distance to realising his ways of showing his love for you without being direct and you not getting any one of them only later the way he would that adooooootably share them with you!!!!

This is what I meant this is why I waited this is why I wanted you to come out with me this is why I would use the treadmill beside you the waaaaay he just looooved sharing his moments of loving you from a distance with you after…..

The wAaaay his face that beauuutifully happy charlie like looking yaha waha and sharing it with you with that big smile on him like eve just by looking at him you realise how much he already was in love with you with your presence and how much he did miss you in your presence then….cause you had no idea bout it even as friends just his presence charlie the way in your mind he was your friend getting best friend but all of you already knew maybe you were in love with him the way his presence just the way it used to make you feel….

From being what you were with men and presence there comes him that made you wanna stay made you wanna breathe live love that one presence like you never did before or never again after!!!!

To just see him ayyyaaAaaaaa the way it just used to make you so so happpppy!!!!

Just to see him him blinking him smiling him looking up at the sun just randomly talking him chuckling away walking around jumping sliding down the stairways anything to everything him becoming love and how!!!!!

THIS MIND now the more you write and relive him!!!!!

This THIS feeeeeeeel it’s filling you up with now!!!!!!!

In those moments after knowing love knowing him living him in those moments not even for a sec did you ever think what it would be like without him cause in that moment that one strong faith that strong something like no matter what happens this one him this one love of his for you him in your life him with you in his life will never change no matter what he ll always love and be with you that way!!!!!!

Not even for a second not even slightest hit not even when he asks you what if someday you don’t have me in your life what will you do!!!!

Even asking that question he very well knew what he meant to you in your life no wonder the question thinking of it now as you write….only when you know your worth in someone’s life does it make you wonder or question your absence!!!!