The dream.....

some moments you just cant define like why did they make you that happy knowing its all your mind the dream the moments could be a coincidence tooo..... but to you you know you alone know what it meant to you !!!!!!

still means to you !!!!!!!!

like you still need to lose more but that khushiii charlie of finaaaaaaaally His clothes fitting cause you almost every month kept trying em on.... hoping now it fits and this blue one you extra careful bout cause its become thaaaaaaaaaat beautifully soft and fragile now.... a lil here n there and could ruin it.....

which is also why you dont wear it jsut so you can have it with you for life......

but today with the niladri dream this one felt the closest that you wanted to live n feel him as.....

cause of the moments with the dress cause of his facial expressions just that stare of his and then to feeeeeel allllllllllllllllllll that much love for you just by the way he was looking at you in this blue one specially - your life n world i say !!!!!!!!!!!!

sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo the dream......

you did tick off niladri for a longtime cause niladri to you is His love for you from back then.....

to give it a listen is also what makes you feel and realize the difference of the then and now all the more.....

it was some other intrumental music of his that you remember was playing as you slept on the floor itself trying to read book.....

and that touch of his holding your hand like you could still hear the instrumental track of his playing till he holds your hand firmly and that same second the sound of sitar.......

that makes you fataaaaaaak se open your eyes and see him.....

ekdum seedha samne was niladri playing it looked like a limited number of people kinda live not those concert types.....

to your side there was him in a navy shirt again full grown beauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuty of his daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaadi that you could see tiny heart enojis on..... like you look at him in the dream bhi and you actually could see those lil heart emojis all over his daaaaaaaadi like not literally see but you know some moments that make you sort of feel that way and you just picture it......

that kinda moment and the waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay he just smileeeeeees knowing like always just knowwwwwwwwwing how happy you truly were......

and you look saamne again just to recheck if it wasnt a dream and was actually happening for real....

and it still was there......

the same second the way still holding your hand moves your hand and look at him and that one deep beautiful breath and he shuts his eyes and you do too and just live that moment of living the sound of niladris sitar to that feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel touch of his love for you........

the waaaaaaaaay like always he wanted to feel live that moment with you live that love for you......

it was a wish of his and soon did become yours too.....

back then for the first time him at niladris concert and calls you mid way through telling you how beuatifully crazy it was and that he had made a mistake by not bringing you along cause he had that badly wanted you to be there with him cause all he could feel was his love for you listening to niladri....

making him realize how much he loved you , just by the sound of sitar.....

with time and that loooooooove for everything him it did become your wish toooo.....

that just stayed as a wish....

years back you did have a similar niladri concert dream with him.... but there was that one wish of yours for a moment with him listening to niladri live.... to feeel him his presence to the sound of niladri.....

and in that dream the waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay his hand his touch feeels the waaaaay his grip keeps growing stronger with the sound of sitar was him making you feel his love for you.... like you know wnating you to feeel it with him..... just by the waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay he holds your hand to and with the sound of sitar.....

and when the playing stops suddenly, you open your eyes to see what happened......

and you wake up.....

ironic beauty of the moment your hand over your tummy in a way like it was just held like you know fingers spread and not like how you would usually have your palm as whilst asleep.....

and you just be looking at your own and finally play niladri.....

through the day that feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel of him that feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel of his love for you from back to the sound of niladri.....

smthings some moments even as you write now and relive it as you write !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

things change people change places change, a love like this one true love like this one, shouldnt have !!