A world of your own, a world of Him...

its been like this like you know not really giving it a thought and yet is sort of there at the back of your mind....

and some days some words smthing random sort of just syncs that well with that dimaag ke peeche wala thought of yours.....

ever since that post of his on insta that thing has been there writing it out feels more ajeeb than what and how it felt in your own mind.....

anywaay.....

how truly truly lucky she must have been or how much love he must have felt that she actually her made it to his acc as lil as this may sound.....

to you it def feels like one privilege which also makes your case that much more worst !!

with him this you did see learn bout love, bout loving someone bout being loved by someone.....

you sort of allow things like you know make the one feel yes you can yes they can with anything.... like you know there is that unsaid untold permission sort of thing like you know you allow them to...... and when you dont like you know build walls just so they dont thats when you know its not love anymore.....

cause you cant anymore........

where even a like or leave alone that seeing some story felt like a big deal felt like you shouldnt have been there or shouldnt have stalked his profile you know things like that.... is when you must know understand accept shoudve accepted seen your place....

long back !!!!!!!

shouldve understood the difference of the then and the now....

but smtimes nai charlie we rather stick to what makes us still feel what felt real back then.... like you know stick with that part side of our brain that still feels that love lives that love and instead really avoid seeing the now.... or even if seeing ignore sticking with the now....

from that feeling to living the still him that still loves you in the dreams....

like the second you shut your eyes or that random moment that sort of fataaaaaaaak se fills up for his absence making you live him....

its that world thats beyond the norm from what you live in the day in the waking state..... like its the complete opp its like you are still in those times.... cause it all still feels the same he feels the same his love for you feels the same the vibe feels just the same... and maybe even more like you feel his love for you even more in dreams.....

its like there is that world that one world that you hold onto the second you shut your eeys.....

that moment where you feel live like its all the same like nothing really changed, He hasnt changed.....

ever since that moment of the day wearing His and being him that feeling.....

having him on the fone..... what if he still did remember by any chance that its his also another reason being strangely it now feels like you have someones boyfriend on your fone.....

its not Him anymore......

as weird as it sounds......

its just weird like you know the Him you live through the moments of the day through the dreams.... in that smell as soon as youw ake up is Him..... all and just Him.....

the Him that you knew that you lived loved and still love.....

this him on the fone with that distance with all that pushing away now doesnt feel like the him that you knew.....

with that feeling now of being someones bf it just felt all the more weird and it was more like you were messing it up for somebody.....

and you get away all the more and delete him....

came the mothers day.....

stick with what you felt and lived back then, the Him that you have and left with......

to this day today when through the words its more like you are living him with words as you read the book.....

some words this vibe of this book its just that beautiful.....

like with every description its more bout reliving him as you read.....

the way it that beautifully sort of connects with all that you felt and still feel in the dreams you live.....