Tuesday, 12 May 2020

Books words lyrics...

this thing this beauuuuuuuuuuty bout finding just the right words that sort of resonate with your soul.....

like you know talking to you whispering to you all through as you read word after word.... like they sort of were giving that beautiful meaning to almost everything well almost, to everything that youve felt bout him back then....

like you know telling you this is why it felt the way it did to the much recent one when you finally delete him off the fone....

cause you just had to !!

and its only today that it sort of makes sense why you felt the need to and why it felt maybe right thing to do !!

this thing charlie bout connections especially with distance.... when you can just feeeeeeeeel it !!!!!!!

feel things that strong and when they sort of dont make sense anymore or maybe make more sense....

this one book like even now you sort of had to pull yourself out of the book just so you could write your own inner felt words out....

some books words just do that for you.....

maybe also why you wait used to wait for some smthing anything from him on his channel like you know waiting for some sign that he still loved you until you finally knew the reality......

after that it has only been bout just finding smthing of him to just live him in his music....

with quarantine you wait more now like you know check more hoping to find more...... but not happening......

its that thing bout how you sort of make your peace with smthing anything instead of what you thought was yours or what you hoped for.....

this mind feels different today....

not sure what you are writing but its just toooo many things that you felt through the book like the description of the art of painting and the waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay it took you back to living him from those days.....

from the first stare to those hours of just living his beauuuuutiful details.....

and the way the author talks bout the painting process of living the details first then feeling them each n every detail just so the painter is able to paint the depth the feel of the details instead of just those random brush strokes....

like all that living him makes sense now...... and you always felt this like it was sort of filling up for this absence these years of absence now....

cause back then lil did you know THIS is what its going to be like !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LIL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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