Friday 1 May 2020

The dream...

def one of the first kinds and smthing that sort of gave a lil glimpse of future, what couldve been kinda future....

when the reality or the reality of the dream gets stranger than stranger things i tell you.....

this is what happens when you see the complete series getting shit fcking scared and the end episode that badly ruins it out by giving out that weird silly stuff vibe !!

sooooooooo yahhhhhhhhhh similar vibe this dream had.....

when it starts off with you that lost and the way it ends and wakes you up with an even more cimplicated state of mind....

you are sitting with this big havan sort of thing before you those mantras and chants echoing and look beside you there was some guy with face blurred out but the feels you sure knew it wasnt Him....

you were getting married to that guy.....

again whoo hota nai there are things you think through the day or maybe have that thing on your mind and then it appears when you are asleep....

marriage getting settled in life is smthing that dosnt not even in the randomest of thoughts or situations ever crosses your mind...... you definitely missed having someone to be with you to share with you someone that makes you feel like you EXIST that you are visible and for real.... someone who values your presence your worth in their life kinda thing......

and then here you were getting married and you keep looking at the one beside you with that feeel in your heart running inside of you you are ruining your life you ar efcking it up.... you shouldnt be here.....

like all through those chants you keep looking to your side with that weird feeeeel in you and keep shutting your eyes reliving Him through those few mins.....

and you suddenly hear people talking around smthing whispers loud whispers around and you look up and see Him walking towards you....

before you know He was there that close to you pushing people away around you and comes close to you and says zaraaa uth thooo baat karni hai and holds your hand and you just get off just like that still looking n again lost in Him.... and him walking with you holding your hand takes you away from the place where you were and just walks with you saying maloom it took me so many people to push to reach you and makes you sit in his car saying zaraa baith thoo baat karni hai.....

and you do as said sitting and then drives away playing his music and you still lost in Him.....

living Him that close to you suddenly like you dont say a thing neither does he and just plays his music and drives away with that one beauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuutifully familiar smile of His.....

it was only with the smile do you realize what he just did without even sayign a word...

still looking at him and he turns looks at you with that nod that one beauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuutiful nod like now are you okay that he corrected smthing to that one smileeeeeeeeeeeeeee again and that adooooooooooooooorably says howliii ups the volume and you wake up as the song changes on your Beret playlist playing......

first thing like always look to your side still looking for him and then just stay that way reliving Him from that moment with that nod n smile from the dream......

its that thing charlie that youve now got used to like its the only person that fits in the space inside of you or outside and beside you.....

its that one frame that is fixed for life now.....

and you just cant replace with another someone like that place or your hand in somebody elses is smthing you cant just cant feel see visually live like it just feels like its not in the right place.....

there are  things that cant possibly change with situations having changed or for that matter the person Himself having changed.....

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