its that realization charlie when you suddenly see someone else and you realize how you never could also making yourself feel this ajeeb like you know you sort of feel disgusted bout your ownself.....
like start feeling pata nai kyu like for what reason why you donno but you just feel that bad ajeeb bout yourself on the inside.....
maybe cause it makes you feel like you lacked smthing smthing that the other person dint.....
its ajeeb was getting ajeeb the more you lived him through those chats and then realizing seeing the block of years now..... bout how bad the need to keep you away has been....
it was like being getting ashamed bout your own self.....
and you dont even know why.....
from that to feeling getting better as you try and stay away that side of life and stick with more books online movies and then the music....
like it comes down to again this part of the day of your own....
be it books with his music or some nights to just lay close to the window and just look out with no lights on.....
jus the sound of his music the breeze in the air and Him flowing through you.....
his lilst of details anything everything Him.....
and just yesterday this series of random glimpses of him from back then rushing through you.....
his random walks acrpss the gym to him just standing there waiting for the rush to clear just so he could get his car out.....
like you know those random stares of living him doorse..... all those stares of him standing in the que or just dialing some number over the fone and you just live his expressions through those random most moments of his.....
through the book asy ou read the writer talks bout how painting someone some subject is a process to first feel live the details and then to start with the brush strokes.....
like you know how the hair falls upon the forehead how the fingers or the palm is, the shape of the nose the frown of the brows that gaze in the eyes.... like you know lilst of the details and then to feel them like you know study live those details and then to slowly start with the process of painting the details....
all that while of you living his beauuuuuuutiful lilst of details and the waaaaaaaay he loved it like he would come closer and then look yaha waha and talk to you knowing you were lost in him like you know allowing you to this only making you feel like you can live him live his details knowing your love for it...... all that while of liivng him living his lilst of detail to be able to fill up your today.....
its like all these years of living and then these words these moments of writiing him is like painting him painting every lil detail of his every memory of his love for you just so you could relive that love relive that Him as you paint him today.....
the way the book talks bout the same feeling like it allows you to live that exact moment that exact feeling as you paint with every brush stroke.....
the same exact feeeling now knowing why it all feels this special and more hurtful smtimes as you write out a memory....
like why it hurts more feels more as and when you write anything Him.....
like you live him through you through days but this thing bout writing Him..... this complete process of starting to write Him and the way the mind the you all of you is not upto you anymore smtimes.....
like it all just flows withe evry word with every sec of reliving Him and then writing him like it just goes just flows......
some books and the state of mind it can leave you with, this beautiful calm like it sort of making you realize why that looooooooove for living him.....
there is that beauty charlie to live someone and not just love them..... like you know connect to see to live their beautiful bad good lilst of detail any detail.... and sort of know the details like you know not just know the obvious of someone but mainly the ones that may go unseen or unnoticed and then to love them too..... grow loving them more as you live.....
like you know really know someone by going through that process of living the details of someone.....
you dint even know then why or what but that looooooooooooove to just seee him to live him every lil of Him...... like you couldnt take your eyes off him that sound of his voice that random move of his hand even that day at his versova place as the song goes and the waaaaaay his hand moves with the rhythm of the track like in waves.... to just trip on that visual of his hand like you remember his hand that close to your face as he moves his hand to the osund of the track and you couldnt take your eyes off his hand tooo not even wanting to blink.....
its that beauuuuuuuuuty to just live and love the lilst of someone.....
this exactly this where to where what you came to write and where this i sleading....
smthings you dont wanna recall and with words again it just flows......
this feeeeeeeeeeeeeeling the more you write relive...............
THIS feeeeeeling !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
like start feeling pata nai kyu like for what reason why you donno but you just feel that bad ajeeb bout yourself on the inside.....
maybe cause it makes you feel like you lacked smthing smthing that the other person dint.....
its ajeeb was getting ajeeb the more you lived him through those chats and then realizing seeing the block of years now..... bout how bad the need to keep you away has been....
it was like being getting ashamed bout your own self.....
and you dont even know why.....
from that to feeling getting better as you try and stay away that side of life and stick with more books online movies and then the music....
like it comes down to again this part of the day of your own....
be it books with his music or some nights to just lay close to the window and just look out with no lights on.....
jus the sound of his music the breeze in the air and Him flowing through you.....
his lilst of details anything everything Him.....
and just yesterday this series of random glimpses of him from back then rushing through you.....
his random walks acrpss the gym to him just standing there waiting for the rush to clear just so he could get his car out.....
like you know those random stares of living him doorse..... all those stares of him standing in the que or just dialing some number over the fone and you just live his expressions through those random most moments of his.....
through the book asy ou read the writer talks bout how painting someone some subject is a process to first feel live the details and then to start with the brush strokes.....
like you know how the hair falls upon the forehead how the fingers or the palm is, the shape of the nose the frown of the brows that gaze in the eyes.... like you know lilst of the details and then to feel them like you know study live those details and then to slowly start with the process of painting the details....
all that while of you living his beauuuuuuutiful lilst of details and the waaaaaaaay he loved it like he would come closer and then look yaha waha and talk to you knowing you were lost in him like you know allowing you to this only making you feel like you can live him live his details knowing your love for it...... all that while of liivng him living his lilst of detail to be able to fill up your today.....
its like all these years of living and then these words these moments of writiing him is like painting him painting every lil detail of his every memory of his love for you just so you could relive that love relive that Him as you paint him today.....
the way the book talks bout the same feeling like it allows you to live that exact moment that exact feeling as you paint with every brush stroke.....
the same exact feeeling now knowing why it all feels this special and more hurtful smtimes as you write out a memory....
like why it hurts more feels more as and when you write anything Him.....
like you live him through you through days but this thing bout writing Him..... this complete process of starting to write Him and the way the mind the you all of you is not upto you anymore smtimes.....
like it all just flows withe evry word with every sec of reliving Him and then writing him like it just goes just flows......
some books and the state of mind it can leave you with, this beautiful calm like it sort of making you realize why that looooooooove for living him.....
there is that beauty charlie to live someone and not just love them..... like you know connect to see to live their beautiful bad good lilst of detail any detail.... and sort of know the details like you know not just know the obvious of someone but mainly the ones that may go unseen or unnoticed and then to love them too..... grow loving them more as you live.....
like you know really know someone by going through that process of living the details of someone.....
you dint even know then why or what but that looooooooooooove to just seee him to live him every lil of Him...... like you couldnt take your eyes off him that sound of his voice that random move of his hand even that day at his versova place as the song goes and the waaaaaay his hand moves with the rhythm of the track like in waves.... to just trip on that visual of his hand like you remember his hand that close to your face as he moves his hand to the osund of the track and you couldnt take your eyes off his hand tooo not even wanting to blink.....
its that beauuuuuuuuuty to just live and love the lilst of someone.....
this exactly this where to where what you came to write and where this i sleading....
smthings you dont wanna recall and with words again it just flows......
this feeeeeeeeeeeeeeling the more you write relive...............
THIS feeeeeeling !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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