Sunday 24 May 2020

The bag !!

from that start to brushing and you play a ben bohmr mixed playlist with that same song with the start.....

the very next song that plays the start of the song and you see him from that same skype call.....

he had shared a mix playlist of nicolas and then asks you to listen to them all and there was this one track playing at his place.... as the mike was on you still could hear the music playing on his side....

and the waaaaaaay he was moving still smoking the way he just moved dheere like you know still looking you in the eye and then moving with the beat of the song.....

he was that beauuuuuutifully high smiling a lil moving a lil and then looking you in the eye......

that whole vibe of the moment to just live him be that beauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuutifully Him......

that same feeeeel of letting you live him say nothing ask nothing talk nothing just live that vibe of the moemnt the way it was making you feel both.....

the way it was like he was almost talking to you without saying a word.... jsut that vibe of that moment charlie......

to just live him look that beauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuutifully just and all Him.....

werent doing anything and yet there was that much of everything.....

just in that moment.....

it was smthing else.....

some moments just like that that happened years back they are just there......

right there with just a play of a sound.....

exactly why you maybe always loved loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooved living him with and to his sound of music.....

it sort of holds that moment away.....

and when  you play that very track from that moment it sort of unfolds that moment away with the sound......

and much after you ask him what track it was playing on his side and the waaaaay he nods away that adooooooooorably asking you to find it in the list he just gave you....

years after today it was....

and whooo bhi in times amidst changes like these......

again that time of the morning your own..... cause your mind is still that beauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuutifully all and just Him from the dreams and the waking up after.....

and then with him still rushing all through you you let yourself lose yourself a lil more in those first few hours after the waking up with his music playing loud and you divin away !!!!!!!

after came the usual day with cleaning dusting and today you decide to clean and pack the bags away.....

cause they were packed with all thedust possible..... get em down and open one of em and the stuff you inside.....

beautiful irony.....

it was the bag that you did plan on taking on that bombay trip to see and be with him 2 years back.....

back then you had booked your ticket way in advance just so you dint miss out and even had packed the basic lounge wear stuff just so you are that ready to leave when he mentions he is free tomo and asks you to come down......

like THAT ready !!!!!!!!!!!

today as you go through the stuff from the many things there was this shirt that you did buy those days when you did plan to go see him after that dream..... nightmare actually !!

this embroideered pastel His blue shirt being tooo soft in cotton and cropped one you def couldnt wear it out and you loved it that much and knowing his love from back then for soft cotton the waaaaaaay he would ask you to pick anything that was soft cotton cause he loved that on you.....

and you pick that shirt to wear it with him !!

packed it with the rest of the stuff and with a copy of the ticket from back then.....

today as you unpack and go through the stuff that feeeeeeeel when you see this shirt......

its that thing charlie when you know he would like smthing that much on you for sure and you had that wish to wear it with him and then see his expression and all of that and today after years you relive that vibe of the shirt of that moment that you had pictured on your mind back then.....

it was smthing.....

like there it was with the tag still on untouched just there in the bag......

wear it tabi k tabi cause it was a gooooooooooooooooood day today.....

hair tied with no kajal on too that khushi after wearing it for no reason, cause trying it on even years after you still had that Him still rushing through you being the day it was today......

some moments nai toooooo ironic and yet beautiful in some way......

there was a lot of Him LOT of him rushing through you today......

there were many moments many beauuuuuuutiful versions of Him playing on loop through you !!!!!!!

and then to live that time live that moment live that feeling of packing the bag from that day years back......

changes, chances !!!!!!!!

times i tell you !!!!!!!!!!!!!

lil did you know !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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