Moments!!!!

 Today there was this mixed feel weird feels bout loving and losing people you love…

18th you lost your brother and 2 days after that’s 20th is the birthday……and you just wanted to be on your own away from it all after spending the day with mom…

Drop her back home and head out again that one question from the driver where to and you just didn’t know what to answer to that and it just comes out as hard rock and the driver instead takes it to the hi tech city one!!!!!

Land there and see there it was this one page back then he had liked bout the coffee place in Bombay and it was here now in Hyderabad so head there instead……

It’s this feeeeel again as you enter and lookup at the menu wondering what he would have which one he would choose and randomly pick the honey cappuccino take a corner seat and just be with earphones plugged in…..

At two tables across there was some product photography taking place and you just sit there working on some design on the phone as with the casual wear it’s become more hectic working on designs weekly basis and suddenly you see this shadow over you the photographer standing there in hand actions asking you to pause or take the earphones out and as you pause the music starts to talk like suddenly it’s always this beautiful feeeeeeeling with glimpses of him as the track plays and you pause and back in reality and this fellow standing asking if you would like to share your break as the guy needed the break from the shoot and wanted to know what music you were listening to and smiling away sketching something……you just couldn’t say a word everytime there’s a question bout you smiling on your own makes you realise that’s how lost you were in him……

Asks again this time saying as you were alone the guy would like to share the break and music with you and just couldn’t cause firstly mind wasn’t feeling right as it is just rethinking bout that feeeeo of losing people you love in life in whichever way that is and then just when you find your peace in that moment in his place in a way with music and in your zone and this one randomness happened……

Just because you are alone that doesn’t mean you need company or are looking for one just say that and head over to the washroom not cause you wanted to get away but it was suddenly that realisation of rushing for the washroom……head over in and trying to flush it you repeat the same thing that you did back then with him on that long drive out and that first outskirts restaurant he takes you and you literally break the panel of the flush thing and come out and start laughing over it and the way he laughs along with you without even knowing why and then says kya karke aayi bey look at your face and still laughing over your clumsiness you ask him but why was he laughing and the waaaaay he says seeing your face like this is making me happy right now…..

Today too after years you make the same blunder right there in that tiny washroom the panel falls off and you stand there laughing away and then lost in that beauuuuuuty of him from back then smiling away chuckling away looking at you standing there in the middle of the restaurant just both of you laughing away over your clumsiness him without even knowing……

To when you come out and you see the photographer standing right outside like waiting for you and that one visual some moemnt a nai make you realise the facts that you always knew…..

It’s that one space in your life that you know for sure is reserved for life and you just can’t just CANT it was that random but like that did give you glimpse of why it’s always been like this…..you walk to your table take the stuff from there and move to the side one as luckily they did serve to the next restaurant just in the same space as subk and take the other corner giving instruction to the staff there to not be disturbed…….

It was almost evening but the waaaay even people around just this feeeeeel of being in his place in a way with his music and the flashback of all things love was making you feel away today…..

And that one pat suddenly on your back as you had your back towards and it was one of your model friend over with her friends and stays for a bit with you…..

It’s that feeeeeeel of missing out on your zone in that very moment as you really liked that time to yourself to your mind and mood for as long as it lasted!!!!!