Another day…!

 And another day that ONE wait last night to just feel him sniff him live his presence and doesn’t happen like it’s been one restless state of night last night switching sides listening to his music on n off hoping waiting to live him and doesn’t happen……

Wake up and first thing you see is one eye swollen this bad not sure if it was no sleep almost last night or some infection……back to that wait for the workout!!

Done with it and doing these strength training bits with weights and this sudden play of his nicolas kar track amidst the trash rap!!

From that to these few tracks that were all him sounds like you haven’t heard before and the way the mind slowly drifting off and away to him like you keep smiling through the sets with flashes of him playing on loop as one track after the other turns out to be one version of him to the other!!

To the final stretch and again switching tracks one to the other vibe missing not working is when you miss his music updates the most like he stopped completely like the only other thing apart from ALL HIM that you miss the most in life is his music…

And finally head back to cbl and very first track comes along with him like the way it starts off is that ezaaaaaact same feeeeel of his presence for the first very moment itself when asleep and suddenly you can smell his scent and the waaaaaaay his arms everything him woooooosh bolke engulfs you away ekdum see…it’s like from the scent of his presence to wrapped away in everything him in less than seconds wooooosh bolke…….like sometimes when you open your one eye to just live his presence it’s his smiiiiiile like he smiiiiiiles throug. That moment of holding you as you are asleep looking you in the eye and holding you all of you away and how!!!!!!

Like you were still living these moments flashes of him from your mornings with the tack and moves and this sudden voice flash of his with your eyes shut in your room back then as he screams out and then chuckles away loudly seeing a Kareena poster in your room asking ye kya hai be why do you have this you are prettier than her and even before you say something tears and takes it off the wall….

In that moment just watching him do that as he kept saying why do you do this howli hai poori tu kareena Kate tumhare saare kaam a howle kaam a rehte and something something like all throug. That process of taking it off taking the tape off he just kept going on on it was the most loooooveed feeeel charlie……it’s that sense of not having to ask to check that sense of loving you just the way you are with all that you are it was like him loving you was a way of knowing what really love is al bout!!

It’s only later u tell him that it had details of diet and yoga moves along with her picture which he missed to notice and is why it was there and that adooooooorable scream love tone of his toh tab bolke nai hua and everytime he spoke in that tone ayyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa his voice too LOOOOOOVE pure love I say!!!!!!!!

He would exaaaactly know when you suddenly go trippin on him like suddenly lose track of what he was saying or anything else around and just live that beauuuuty of him like suddenly the words him talking everything else around slows down almost blur to the ears and al your mind eyes heart all of you on the inside is living is that visual of him…living away the way his eyes blink as he talks scream at you the way his lips move saying certain words the way his frown to smile moment to a much deeper smile as he notices you lost in him to that next moment of soft shy noticing you lost track of what he was saying……even writing it now ayyyaaaaaaaaaaa howleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee you gorgeoooooous gorgeooooooooous thing I swear how only HOW ONLYYYYYYYYYY u were missed aviiiiii k abiiiiiii!!!!!!!

Even yesterday when min was that high on him and that moment when you find her fone and find that most loved circle finally that rush with a heart scream inside yesssssssss and it ends up being about the Hyderabad racing thing!!!!

It’s moments like those or like this very moment now from writing writing reliving that beauuuuuty of him and this mind now!!!!!!!

Ayyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa howleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!

Again a start like this one already , what it’s going to be like ahead I swear!!

How do you even work with a mind like this now…!