Sound of him…!

 It’s this weird state of mind of listening to Tera hone laga hoo in the mall when you were all by yourself yesteay it’s that sudden low lowwwwwww feeeeel that rushes through you like in the middle of it all stop right there and everything him rushes throug you and that sudden feeeelnof not having seen him hits you like u donnooo how why what hits you you just sit there weirdly shed a tear missing him suddenly tooootooooo mucn away!!!!!

And then only make it all the more worse like when it’s this zabardasti ka making you even more sad missing him away u listen to Nusrat Fateh Ali kan…..and it does ur for you !!!!!

And almost crying go to sleep on the floor itself in between the work and this rush on your arm and you turn to the other side and this sudden grip over your arms that shakes you and you start to sniff away around and that scent of him around you over you wakes you up and he was over you in the saaaaaame amsexxxxxxduoppppppandiknowwwwit kinda black shirt of his it’s that same expression on him and the waaaaay he comes that close and tighten the grip over your arm and looks you in the eye and says do it…….

Like writing it now how would could you possibly know what he meant by that by that very moennt you hold him get off and hold him against the wall this time his way prolly 3-4 time this dream came same to same……..

And the moments after the way he kept saying that one thing on repeat and you pause to write it and this neeeeed to just write out I love you as every time you kiss hold him the waaaay he keeps saying it over n over again I love you I loved you I’ve always loved you I still love you like the more you move that rush in you the way he keeps saying it over n over again……..to that moennt and to write it can’t write it this sudden rush of gooooosebumped now do something and that sound of him somethimgsssssss!!!!!!!!!

It’s like u are living a moennt living that beauuuuuuty of him just the waaaaaaaaaay he looked that beauuuuuuutifully raw a vibe a mooood that some beat suddenly makes you feel slowwwwww to that sudden switch of rush kinda viiiiibe of his and the waaaaaaay he for that second holds you by your neck and looks you in the eye and says just you wait……..

It was that intensity of the way he says it the waaaaay he looks you in the eye and says it the complete feeeeeel of that moennt that suddenly shakes up something that big in you like he was actually actual mein there there kinda feeeeel if that moennt and you wake up like it’s only then do you realise it was that dream all of night cause it was even post alarm and for the first time you couldn’t hear the alarm ring…….

That one feeeeeeeeeeeeel when you wake up from that moennt that rush in you that missing in you that one feeeeeeeeeelnof he was that close just seconds back and you just couldn’t take the reality of that waking up in that very moment……

Thinking of it now writing it now still can’t…!