Ayeeee!!!!!!

 Some sleepy wishes your heart makes morning morning after a very long time!!!!!!!

Waking up to him for real like this ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa how only every single morning like this!!!!!!!!!

There’s no other touch smell taste feel face warmth you want to wake upto than this one right here that you can still smell as you switch side and still deciding if to finally be up and ready for the half shoot or go back to sleep and wait for this once to continue the dream and find him again!!!!!!!!

This one strange magic lately him coming with and in same shirt and this time you actually tell him too in that very moment holding his shirt away!!!!!!!!

The waaaaaaaaaaaaays he comes this heart this all you how do you even go work feeeeeeling this away!!!!!!!!!!

Said it before can say over fathergodzilliok times away Him pooooooooooora ka poooooooooooooora heart of yours!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Walking talking breathing sexyadorableness all at once…

His eyes upclose smell of him as you try and stay that one side hiding dunking your face away in his shoulder and that beauuuuutiful rush of him like you could again feel his missing that strongly like it’s all feeling this beautifully different mornings lately…

Howleeeeeeeeeeeeeeee if you only knew slightesttttttttttt bhi how you are being missed abhiiiiii k abiiiiiiii!!!!!!!!

In the air!!!!!

 Some days just donnoooo like you can feeeeel it in the air itself !!!!!!!!

Places been with him years after very place and this feeeeeeeeeel you are suddenly swayed away with!!!!!!

Like how do you even have a straight face on with a mind roll like this one today ever since the start of the day Him highdddddddddd and how!!!!!!!

Like right now trying to find a way befetwen a smile and a straight face just so it’s not this evident that something’s up on your mind……

Said it before can say it over and over again that one face in the world for you and anything him and THIS you it transforms away is beyond logics…

Howleeeeeeeeeeeeee you beauuuuutofil lil big adotaaaaaably sexy thing how only you were missed abhiiiiii k abiiiiiiiiii bas feeeeeel Jo jaanaaaaa tumkuuuuu Kaise bhi ayaaaaaaaaaaaaa why just why can’t the air transport the missing in some way!!!!!!!!!

Like you intentionally keep reliving the moments from this morning and it’s been one self goosebumped mode since morning!!!!!!!

Is it normally normal!!!!!!

 This new feels today this morning after very very long!!!!!

When you’ve been felt too much touched tooo much loved and loved tooooo much , does your skin get that sensitive with the touch of the others!!!!!

This morning agaaaain the waaaaaaaaays he comes the very same vibe of the dream and him coming this morning and you wake up feeeeeling like you actually met him for real that real becomes all the more real when your mom over the dining table comes from behind and places her hand over your neck talking something and it literallllly shakes you up and get off the chair!!!!!

Head to your room for a bit without saying a word and the waaaaay that moemnt takes you back to the post Versova meet soon as you get back at your aunts place she holds your hand and your skin feeeeels the same shake……

It’s that beauuuutifully ironic the way your skin too gets that used to that someone’s touch that it feels any foreign touch right away specially if you’ve been felt touched lived for a longer duration of time with the same touch like it that beautifully gets used to it…….

Cause back then too that meeet was the most beautiful one of all years cause had been the longest and you’d felt most loved!!!!!!!

Something’s this beautiful morning morning with the rush to shoot this mind this slight beautiful shiver the waaay it feels like having met for real again with him in the same black shirt looking his sexy beauuuuuutiful best with sleeeepy eyes ayyyaaaaaaaaaa the waaaaaaaay you loooooved his sleepy eyes the way he looks that extra bit of beautifulness!!!!!!!!

This mind this face this skin this you this morning again Him highd and HOW!!!!!!

Him!!!!!

 It’s sooooo much something you get filled with ekdummm seee just reliving him with moments like those!!!!!!!!

No wonder even this feel now years after too!!!!!!

Today seeing that story of his reliving his bachpan brought back all those moments the other one him sharing his baby pic in a robe back then at his Dd space looking super adooooorabke all pink robe I guess!!!!!!

It’s this thing bout him charlie another most beautiful one him could be wild crazy loveeeey doveeey evrythung but that one aspect bout him that beauuuutifully still intact that kid in him be it his face his facial expressions too there’s always that hint of his bachpan ka face that comes along !!!!!!! And you pause over writing even now cause it’s been that long seen him for real now…….

This beauuuuuty of some moments like from that moment on she comes back and you give your phone to her saying you’ll keep hers for a bit with you she doesn’t get it as was caught up with too many work things and you keep stopping the car stepping out and checking again n again cause the waaaaaay it just was making you that happy away…

Later through the day at the jeweller discussing the pieces to go with which outfit and you couldn’t stop smiling reliving him from that picture to his face in his sisters room that closest to yours and you head out and just be for a moemnt with his song playing try to have a straight face on and jay bout to head back in and see this car with this magic number that you call……cause you’ve been spotting these lately and you love now clicking pictures away as and when you find these numbers again donno why just something you love spotting now…….

Feeels charlie all bout the feels and lilst of things that bring him along…

Home…

 How does your heart and soul know just knowwww it much before you do…

Like it just knows no matter what!!!!!!

His dreams moments through the day to all these you kept yourself away from touching her fone and today of all days you just do like that strong urge need to and the second you do there he was charlie….

Visuals like always come along those conversations…

Where spending time with his sister to cheer her up with him in his room and he keeps coming over standing at the door as you both fool around and he just watches you with a straight face on and back to his room…

Cause that day he wanted you to be with her as she had a tough family thing on and him in his room couldn’t really that adoooooooorabky take you both fooling around doing random things where his sister herself as he leaves she insists on you heading to his room but the way she was that day you were in a fix cause you knew what she meant to him and how bad he wanted her to feel okay and then to see her finally happy and him upset over you spending more time with her you just couldn’t leave…..and she plays this bachpan ke videos and shows you his school picture and asks you to spot him and the very first guess like before that you’d never seen his bachpan ka photo pehle and yet the very first touch over was him on screen…

And she just holds you asking how were you that sure that very moment he comes back again and she tells him and that smileeeeeee on him charlie tingggggg bolke just that adooooooooorably happy and just stays close to you beside you as she was showing him which picture it was and then looks you in the eye and that adooooorable plead if his that beauuutifully clear jn the way he just looked at you and she immediately says about leaving for shower……

And finally the second you are in his room the way he just holds you closing the door behind like the tightest ever just that one hug charlie I swear and all of his missing that strongly felt and lived it’s the happiest you used to be thinking feeling it now!!!!!!

Happiest you’ve ever been!!!!!!!!!!!!

Some moments even years later this very moment the way it makes you feel!!!!!!!!!!

Moments!!!!!!

 Day started out pretty gloomy stage of mind with no dream this morning and you try to stretch out for a lil before rushing to work and the way this corner of the mind wanting to listen to his sounds just so you could feel him and you stop right there and just ready for work instead with some other music…

Lights flowers and zillion other things to prep for tomos shoot and right in the middle of everything it was Rakhi too every single time first you miss bhayya and then the mind goes to him, the only two people in life you absolutely loved with all of you……

And she gets off to talk to the florist wala and her fone right beside you one look at it second look at it and she walks farther inside the florist store and you fataaak se get on it and this happened after a very long time after having seen him disappear!!!!! Didn’t touch it again but like today you had to firstly knowing it’s Rakhi with that weirdly beautiful strong need to cause there was also his lucky ali playing in the car……

The second you do seeeee him back and your most loved round roudn rounding away over him……

Hit it and ther he was ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa that one adooooooooooooooravle face of your life I say!!!!!!

It was his bachpan ka photo with his sister in a yellow shirt his dad glasses and blue jeans with proper socks and sandal on and your heart face all of you beeeeeeeming buzzzzzing away with that much happiness suddenly!!!!!

Ayyyaaaaaa even writing it now reliving that one face meraaaaa pooooooora ka poioooooora heart he is I swear charlie!!!!!!

Why HOW what!!!!!!

 U don’t even know howwwww why or since when but the waaaaaaaaaay anything him shuruuuuu se used to give you these feeeels back then you didn’t even know existed in you…..now tho you know the reason why but since that very first time seeing him walk around straight face making adoooooorable faces at weights and the way your eyes always looking out for him in corners just to see him……… to seeing him smile for the first time and that very instance the waaaaay it made you feel on the inside still this beauuuutofully clear like you still remember on your way back how it had you wondering why his smile made you that happy away……

It’s this something that just changes in the inside charlie like makes you feel something nothing like anything else ever can…aaj bhi decade later more than a decade later anything slightest him bhi and this feeeeeels it gives you is this beauuuutifylly beyond words and logics or questions or reasons , just the waaaaay it’s always been I guess…

Like it’s always been meant to bee!!!!!!

Even writing now the mind this beauuuutifully him high and now this sound of music that again has his psy beedi feels in the form of music and trippin on him this way!!!!!!!

All it took again was Him that one face in the world for you!!!!!!!

Freakinmee!!!!!!

 Mood and days like these when you can literally feel your mind smiiiiiiling away with legs up in the air letting the blood flow hit your head cause you are lovin the vibe of the day today cause it’s THIS MUCH him feeeeeels through n through the day and your heart mind body n soul all of you just, just happpppy…

The second you say that you touch the woodest of woods your head away!!!!

Cutieeeeee!!!!!!

 Once face in the world I say!!!!!!!

When it’s that much more difficult with a big face like yours to hide the expression and smile away that one cutieeeeeeeeeee on loop no matter where you are who you talk to tackling a zillion things that need to be rushed for work with shoot tomo and yet here you are smiliiiiikg away no matter what the discussion cause cause first he is back second ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa that one cutest face even as a kid him!!!!!!!!

How do you even hold your mind I say!!!!!!!!

It’s flyyiiiiiiung him high and HOW!!!!!!!

HEART POOOOORA!!!!!!

 Ayyyyaaaaaaaaaaa this fellow walking talking breathing heart mera pooooooora ka poooooora!!!!!!!!

This heiiiiights of Khushi right in the middle of chaos like this !!!!!!!

Moments MOMENTS like these now where you are already struggling to hold back your face and smile now!!!!!!

This beauty!!!!!

 Just today over lunch as she talks bout your dressing why would you dress this way still after losing weight and not dress up and you scroll through Instagram still on your mind this beauuuuty of him running through…

It’s this always, a side of you that just he knew…

And with this state of mind lately it’s been long very long since you even stopped dressing up specially now the work line you are in it still is the way it is…..

There was that joy charlie wearing things dressing up and then watching him smile that way looking you in the eye making you feel like you are the most beautiful woman on the face of the planet I say!!!!!!

Now it’s tho like his logic who is it to impress even like you do make an effort dress up right for work but it’s not like it used to be for him……

There was that joy on the inside you remember just bout to leave to see him and then moments before to just look at yoruself with that something!!!!!!

It’s been a weirdly most beautiful day today with the wide array of thoughts rushing throug your mind all day and even now……days like today when you miss him the most and wonder why if only!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Always did!!!!!!

 Ever since him charlie anything to do with him always left a stronger impact on you…..

Be it him leaving for Bangalore for the first time being away from him and just watching him leave get into the car and you head back to his sisters room with her……

She paints your nails watching some videos and an hour later or something holds your hand and sees you had a temperature and actually calls him up and tells him that it hasn’t even been a day he left and you already were down with fever……

And then tells you it used to happen with her too as a kid…..

To the very same thing on and off with his blocks then his constant block then this Instagram thing and the next day you wake up with a temperature for a few days like it’s taking your body too to adjust as per the change……

It’s strange in your mind through your day you are still at it avoiding workouts on some days or post stretches some day cause of the wait for feeling him through the workouts so you ski p it instead to these dreams of his and the waaaaaaaaays it makes you feel him all the more……

This one from morning specially like he missed you that much you could feel it that strongly in his touch and sound of his voice to his arms like all of him with his words telling you how much he missed you loved you and then you wake up not finding him to realising to the after feels and then to find your own lil moemnt of magic was something else…….

To think of it now it’s your most feminine side that comes along with him like that sense and feel of him that makes you feel and realise you are a woman cause lately you don’t even dress that way anymore!!!!!! 

Something’s nai are just beyond you how could you feel it all this strongly and with still no him like this…

Chipmunk magic…

 To this morning from that wild WILD presence of his him talking him moving him loving you every way possible and telling you he does over and over again with moments like you wake up in that haste to see touch feel him again and look around cause in your head you weee that sure he was there for real and don’t find him and the reality hits you later…

To this one song and it in a way breaks you more it’s that thing charlie when you believe in something that strongly and it resonates with you that strongly even in your dreams and not just in your waking state and then to realise it is completely ulta of what’s happening otherwise……

Like seeing him it private was like watching him leave again it just felt strange void it’s still weird just feels weird most ever……cause in some way or other it just strangely felt he still was there and then with this was like him disappearing frame after frame picture after picture…….

It still is something just feeeels that weird ok the inside…….

To these dreams and moments of him telling you otherwise still making you feel and believe in his love this strongly and you wake up sometimes talking to yourself it’s your missing talking trust me it’s you and your missing doing this to you!!!!!

Cause you miss him in a zilluon stronger ways now and feel him too along with it……

It’s this lost state of mind you wake up happy for the moment having felt lived smelled touched him and then reality through the day hits you and then not seeing him makes it all the more worse now!!!!!

To this moemnt today with the dream high state of mind trying your best to control your mind from replayin the dream and him from the morning discussing the backdrop placement and stuff for the shoot and this loud strange sound…..

Carpets all around lighting equipment’s around discussing outfits against what and this one pull of the loud sound and you just walk out from the discussion and to the balcony look around where the sound was coming from and it was a squirrel and that one loud scream in your heart it had to be you no……

Shut the balcony sliding door and talk back to the chipmunk saying sooo whatsuppp why you screaming and it actually looks at you and starts talking even louder and you have a good random chat with it as it actually looks at you and talks even louder coming a step closer with every few mins……

Play his music and just be there for a bit and reliving him fork those first meets calling him chipmunk for the first time nicknaming him away cause he wanted you to call him something which only you would…

It was different charlie it was almost magic like that calm that comfort that one lil chipmunk got your heart was beyond words……cause you were that high and lost and confused from the morning him and there he was in his own way somehow again giving you that love away…….

As mad as this sounds some moments nai you can’t just can’t reason out why it made you feel the way it did it just did in that moment cause you alone know what and how you were feeeeeling ever since that dream of his and then to find this chipmunk actually talking to you to your manager coming at you and watching you talk to the chipmunk away stands there with the light guys and comments over how important was this for you to just walk out of the discussion and again something you alone know HOW important it was……..

Like you have a talk there and finally head back in and that lil fellow actually stops talking like from all that loud sound earlier pulling you off and away closer to that moment to having that conversation and then that calm….

As you stand back in studio and smile away with no further sounds of the squirrel…….

Something’s nai that thaaaaat very beautiful!!!!!!!!!

It just made your heart happy for no reason and yet a strong reason I say…!

Changing routine!!!!

 Like you were changing your entire routine just so you manage to get a hold on yourself and make sense of the present and just yesterday out to get a few shoot things sorted with your mom and manager getting juttis from Secunderabad and you were on a work call and before you even know you pass by his Sai baba temple necklace road and then ask the driver to take the right instead hang up on the call and the same exact stretch of road as he pulls closer to the trees for you and……before you even know it the driver takes that swayed turn and play the song that makes you feel most him cause he is truly only thing you’ve ever known the only love you’ve ever known…

And that rushhhhhhhhh of him charlie like fataaaaak se it all becomes him that beauuuuutifully him like all you could see looking up at the trees was him his face his look that one stare of his just smiling away watching you live the trees…….and that smile on you like something on the inside was just that thataaaat happy reliving him in that very same place of his…

Like from that moment on evrythung him rushing through you with his music playing it just was that beauuuuuutiful!!!!!!

And soon as you come home that very first thing to correct something you don’t know why or what sense difference it would make bit like you just had to and add him back on WhatsApp like always. !!

What is this even!!!!!!!

 When you wake up from that wild wild him coming this morning to landing into a zillion stronger moments of him filled slammed swayed with through n through the day giving you away all tue never too far vibes of him away and HOWWWWWWWW!!!!!

Just when you think you are almost in control for the first ducking time ever in al these years it all goes out of the window all over again, like it’s meant to be…

What do you how do you even make sense of all this crazy beautiful modes of Him magicness that you and your moments and days are filled and fuelled with……..

Like theseeeeeeeeeee many feeeeeeels and this strongly what do you even make sense of this whe you are finally trying to accept of him walking away and then there’s him making you this strongly STRONGLY making you feel otherwise…

Morning blues!!

 Still trying to do your best of best ever and still struggling and yet at it, this time…

The Clouds, sound of his words and other in sync words like these!!

Sharing a part of your soul, the sound of music…!

Inaroww!!

 Mornings like these starts with a dream like that one same location and land here on the business home feed...!

Morning maagic!!

 When you are doing your best and trying the hardest you ever did in all these years and a morning moment of magic like this happens!!!!!!

When you see a few missed calls from a YouTuber friend of yours and then this one track she WhatsApps you…

Just not a morning morning calls person so you instead check the message and find this song of all the tracks n movies in the world it had HAD to be this one - Wake up Sid…

Like a morning moment of strong magic like this couldn’t have missed out on documenting…

Not sure what do you even call moments like these and smile now suddenly after all these days some weird ass magic tricks the universe pulls nai like decide man pls!!!!!!!!

For now it just looks and feeeeeeeels like a goood day ahead 🤞

Not letting extra happiness go to the head cause it somehow doesn’t turn all well…

For now all is well all is well!!!!!!!!!!!

Moments!!!!!!

 Sometimes you just donnooooo why you do the things that you do when you doo………

It’s a longgggg weeeknd till Tuesday with driver off she stays over for some work till morning leaves hers and takes yours for some work call and after a loooong day of shoot finding that moemnt of finding Him and you fataaaak se take it…

To see gone again!!!!!!!!

Something’s no matter what you do how hard you try you can never grow used to!!!!!!!

From living him to now suddenly he is gone kinda weird vibe and goes your strange donno why smile along cause of his Sound…!

This THIS feeeeeel right now!!!!!!!!

It’s the worst weird feeeel ever!!!!!!!!!!

A sound of him!!!!!!

 All it took was a sound of him and this you it’s transformed away!!!!!!!!!!

Like the mind al of you buzzing this high even with no dream this morning like he is here and yet no dream was even a bigger deal!!!!!!! Know the feeling is special when it starts with a no filter morning selfie to save the feeeeeeling away after the longest time…

To the workout and you find this one track and leaves with that many what ifs on mind!!!!!!!

To the post workout moment this one track mind was a lil lost post that song trip and as you move through with this kaya track and your ankle track ka button comes off and the way it falls over the ground as you were in downward stance and the visual of your red kurta button flashes through you that very moment and almost magic like as you lift your head to relive that memory you see him that close to your face for that very second!!!!!!! 

Not sure what why or how but the way he was right there charlie in that very moment!!!

Back then at his Dd space wearing this red kurta and zebra print pyjama and the waaaay he looks at you at the door itself cause back then over some Diwali pic of yours he had mentioned he loved red on you…

And you wear another red one and see him and that one face that one smileeeeeeeeee the second he sees you at the door like he takes a few mins to just live your presence still at the door and after he lets you in watching something over his laptop him maintains that distance over that moemnt of him holding you from behind and you finally getting to chummi just before leaving the way he mentions just one chummi and you one more time chummi him to another the waaaaay there was this beauuuuutiful rush to his chuckles in between as he keeps counting them on as you do to this sudden rushhhhh of him and the kurta button off n on the ground and he stops and looks down at the button spinning as you live that moment of his away……….looks you in the eye and stays that way for that moemnt amidst that by then rush of you inside…like you wanted to again hold him and not stay with that distance but the waaaaaaaaay he just lived that moemnt charlie there’s nothing more beauuuuutiful or that you want than yo live him in moments like these!!!!!!

The way he would just stop it all and suddenly live that moemnt fully smiles at you and back with the moemnt…

To think of it all now like it was designed this way moemnts like those lived with him to relive in moments like these today!!!!!!!!!

U are strangely ironically just happy like sound of him echoing through you still with that flash of him today that very moment!!!!!!!!!!!!

How much more can you possibly miss someone and for how long…!

This face not sure how to hide away or keep a straight face on!!

HIMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!

 That need to just go round n round listening to lucky ali the loudest and every bit of his music to eventually playing tracks out of his playlist only cause you ist wanted to feeeeel all him away the loudest possible!!!!!

Mom notices manager obviously kotices comments and asks what it was all bout cause that’s how couldn’t help itbat all!!!!!

It was that realisation he is here in hyd then his sound to the visual of his gate space and another bunch of memories there…….

First one most special being him just before dropping you home you were bout to sit in the car and he instead comes your side holds your hand and asks you sit there with him in the lawn it wasn’t like this as it’s now the path was much smaller with grass all around……sitting there with him late that night looking up at the stars and that one look at you and he tells you I never sat like this with even soni wanted to with you somehow Abhi……looking at the sky above talking yaha waha ki couldn’t take your eyes off him…….it was him feeeoinf too much love for you away in that moment not ready still to drop you back home holding on for longer kinda vibe the waaaaay he just looked in that moemnt…smiiiiilijg swaaaaaaay that smile of his knowing you were lost in him and comes a lil more closer with his one arm over your leg and just stays that way talking something…

To the many times watching him head out for some work leaving you at his place and you standing there looking at him to seeing him on a bike for the first time and that day he actually calls you and asks you to come rushing outside without telling his sister…

Soon as you do from the back gate he was waiting at the gate on his bike and asks you to come to the gate and you initially think could be to hold some covers or something as it was around some festival I guess…but the way he asks you to sit with him on the bike cause he was outside the gate and as you try to sit side way he shows you the other way and you hold him still saying it was your first time on the bike and you didn’t know and stuff scared too and he holds your hand keeps it over his tummy takes you inside…

as he tries to park there and you refuse to get off the bike cause that’s howwwwww much you loooooved it and the waaaay he that adooooooooooorablu adds abhi nai jaaa sakte kidhar aisaaa karely in that over looooved tone cause he knew you wanted to be that way for longer and didn’t want to get for…

Soon as you finally get off the bike the way that Khushi on his face charlie you should’ve seeeeen it the way he adds it just hit him that you hadn’t sat with him on his bike as he was waiting at the gate and wanted to live that feeeeoing of you with him on his bike too…

Ayyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa head to toe LOVE he was!!!!!!!!

Like no other word that beautifully apt for everything that he is!!!!!!!!!!!!

Every bit of him!!!!!!!!!!!

HIM!!!!!!!!!

 From that very moment of seeing his story didn’t want to leave her fone or give it back I swear charlie!!!!!

Like you just wanted to keep listening as often and for as long as you could and that one wish after all these years for the first time if only he hadn’t had you blocked like this!!!!!!

From missing out on the many moments to miss out on this one hit you the hardest of all!!!!!!!

Bit that feeeeeeling she comes back had to pickup mom cause she had to buy a few things and you struggled you struggled and howwwwwwwww to hide your face like the second she steps back in the car discussed something with you regarding the collab and all through you were smiling with her saying there’s definitely something that good with you like look at yourself you are blushing fullest and smiling biggest cause that’s exaaaaactly how it felt…….his voice sound of him charlie after all these yeaaaaars even be it as lil as good boyhhh ringo to that THAT hmmmm!!!!!!!!

Be it back then or now from the many words and things he used to say this too had your poooora ka pooooora heart cause of the way he used to say it firstly and secondly the expression of the word that it used to come with moments like the sign of him feeeeling his utmost comfort or utmost love or loved is when the sound used to come out from him……

This rush inside even right now reliving that fraction of second visual of his hand his one leg the sound of him!!!!!!!

From the start of the day that beauuuuuutifuo to this one now!!!!!!!!!

The HMM!!!!!

 Slowly holding you that first hug soon as he is over your shoulder that sound of his hmm soon as you are over his lap through the drives and he adjusts his arm over you holding you and finding that comfort spot to hold onto and then the sound of his hmm to the golden hour meets that first second he would lay over your lap finding that comfort spot the sound of his hmm to that first any closer moment and it always used to be that sound he used to make be it in that Dd meet too as he keeps dropping you over the floor after every move and finally holds you away in his arms and that sound of his hmm……..

It soon turned out his comfort blanket of a word like making that sound out of too much love or comfort and today hearing him say it throwing a ball at ringo and as ringo comes closer saying good boyyyhhhh ringo same exaaaact tone he used to say it for lucky in that cute tone of voices like you talk to the kids on that tone him same same talking to lucky now ringo in that very same tone of voice…

Some moments charlie nai fills you up with this huge feeeeel of after all these years somethings don’t really change no matter what!!!

His voice his that tone of speech to that sound of his hmmm………..am telling you every bit of him every sec or inch of him LOOOOOOOOOOVE in the most magical surreal of ways pure looooooooove!!!!!!!

Like even writing now reliving the sound of him this smiiiiile just wouldn’t go or subside I say!!!!!!!!

THE sound!!!!!!

 Late noon out for some coffee and to meet this stylist with some fit concern and as she leaves to talk to the stylist out leaves her fone behind one look at it two look at it and couldn’t hold back anymore……first thing that initial pushback to hit now with this dp of his cause it had your most loved circle circling around wait for a second for another few seconds and look at her out and she was almost done finally hit it and ayyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa that very second howwwwwwwwww only you couldn’t stop smiling with THAT much Khushi rushing through you his voice charrllllieeeeeeeeeee after all these years the THE sound of his voice the sound of love for you ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaaa whiooo bhi with that most loooooooved sound he used to make out of tooo much love and comfort ayyaaaaaaa even recalling it now howwwwwwwww you wishhhhhhhhhhh he had you unblocked or atleast posted on his ringo page just so you could hear it over n over again!!!!!!!!

This beauuuuuuuty of sound and visuals charlie the waaaaaays they can suddenly make you feel on the inside like dhadaaaAaaam se is beyoooooooonf logics or writing I say!!!!!!!

How do you even define our write out what and how much it meant to you be it then or be it reliving now cause THATS howwwwww bad you missed his voice too!!!!!!!!

Ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa howleeeeeeeeeeeee you deliciouslyyyyyyy adooooooooorable lil sexy big hooooman how only you weee missed abbiiiiiiiii k abhiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!

Sound of Him!!!!!!

 Ayyaaaaaaaa sound of his voice after yeaaaaarsssss!!!!!!!

That one hmmmm he goes and a zillion memories having heard and felt it as he used to make that sound heart soul all of you this THIS happppppaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!

First and foremost to save this THIS feeeeeeel away cause that’s how howwwwwwwwwww happy it made you to hear him for real after this this long!!!!!!!!!

To run awaaaaaaaaaay where are weeee now!!!!!!!!!!

This softly!!!!!!!! Hear you say!!!!!!!!!!! Feeeeeeling loooooove this waaay oooohhhhh this waaaaaaaay!!!!!!!

Sound of voice!!!!!!

 And for the first time in years you just wishhhhhhhhh he had you unblocked just so you could hear him over n over again!!!!!!

Ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaa itttaaaaaaaaaa cuteness in one the sound of his voice!!!!!!!!!!!

Sound of music…!

 How do you even defiiiiine write out moemnts like these that just felt like his conversations on n off through n through!!!!!!

This ones just and all postworkot himhighd appreciation post completely!!!!!!!!

Ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa this one mind again right now!!!!!!!

Not sure if you intentionally do this to yourself or ur just happens with the flow of missing him like this…

This one track you play and every word he has already told you at some point different points in life…

First I hear you feel you back then in Bangalore and back from Bangalore too he would amidst his sleep talk suddenly wakes up and tells you how he could still hear your sound of voice when alone on his room even asleep the sound of your voice or mostly used to be the sounds in between chummi used to make……..like from Bangalore him telling you I miss you so much sometimes in the middle of night wake up with your sound years after you doing the same!!!!!! To him having said run away with me just bout to get off the car and he says let’s aise he go away somewhere far and you step back in again fataaak se and that chuckle of his ayyyaaaaaaaaaaa watching you do that and then nods away saying nakko tere mere ghar mein tension ho jaati and you don’t say a word and step out again and he leans over holds your hand again and takes you close to the chai galli next with that rush!!!!!!!!! Like again he knew what and how you felt when he said that and then that rush of his to live a moemnt and holds you!!!!!!!!!

To made you cry him having said it post opera moemnts again today the moves we’re like with the words n sound of this track all you could hear was him and al of you living that very feeel very moment again like it’s the ears hearing him say these things away and rest of you with eyes shut reliving the very same moment as he talks through the moves…

It was magical surreal sensual it was very very different like even now your mind all of you still living and that high with that rush donnoooo what how or why is this but the waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaays he comes is beyond logics!!!!!!!!

Like you could Feel it in your core that deep!!!!!!!!!

It’s this beauuuuutofully himhigh himhappppyhighd state of mind right now!!!!!!!!

Like seeing him feeeeeeeling him living him away from great upclose even in the waking state what do you even call this!!!!!!!

Howleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee you gorgeooooous lil big adoooooooorable thing magic you were!!!!!!!!!    If you only knewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww slightest bhi!!!!!!!! THIS MIND NOW!!!!!!

HIM!!!!!!

 There’s not just that or this that you loved bout him be it back then or be it years after now this very moment…

It’s always been bout his entire existence be it back then even as someone walking past by it’s been all of him that you’ve been drawn to not even knowing why!!!!!!

Night drives with him that late on your way back home used to always be bout his music and to live his details away and love every bit of him away just watching him be him and HIW!!!!!!!

Maybe why this love for night drives lately cause with sedan you had to worry bout water clogging and stuff this time around with this one you don’t have to worry bout a thing but to live him away late night drives with his music loud!!!!!!

it’s like it all comes back charlie rushes through you him driving living his details under street lights sometimes or sometimes with the lights of the cars coming from the opposite side flashing over his face on and off and him twitching his eyes away with harsh lights sometimes and then looking at you living him away with that smileee and telling you in ishaara to come closer and slowly whispering away kya dekhti rehti tu aisa mujhe nobody stared at me this way before……thinking of it now years later maybe your heart already knew why!!!!!!

Nights like these writing reliving the details of him the waaaay those drives visuals of him this clear and no wonder this insaneeeee love for the night drives it just brings him along in more ways than one like you can feeeeel it inside you….

More so that one stretch of road like takes you back to opera and all those moments with him there and with that one wish even now when there to be with him there…that very same road!!!!!!!!!!

Places n moments

 

Missing rush!!!!!

 That night there were a bunch of lil girls some in their school uniform too selling flowers but of all the other girls it had to be this one that comes over to you and talks to you……

Cause in that moemnt going all the way there waiting to live that feeeeel that night just so you could calm that missing away and not be able to do it and just walk around and then this girl walks over to you of all the others with that very sound of his name was something!!!!!!!

Like it’s these lil moments of magic that bring him along that fill you with THAT much him is beyooooooooond any other feeel charlie cause it makes you happy in ways nothing else prolly could apart from the actual him for real…

To the other night post work just to be in your fav place the Link Road to the shoe factory place cause it has alllllllll opera vibes and this time you were there at late night cause it was back from toniuqr and ask the driver to take slow play his fink and the very thing cement truck parked in a row and that taste of him rushes through you like all of that moemnt be it that wait for your first chummi to opening your eyes and seeing him still watching you and smiiiiiling and both of you finalllly laughing it away to that sudden sound of his chuckle you heard for the first time cause it was a big laugh after you laugh it away yourself as he points out the cement trucks passing by behind……and he starts the car back just a lil ahead one look back at you and you look at him that stare of his still this beauuuuuutifully clear and he stops and your Khushi that clear on you that he seees and slowly says should see your face now and comes close holds your hand and there it was the start of the most beauuuuuuuutiful moments of your life the start of the most beauuuuuuutoful part of you and your life - Him and his love!!!!!!!!

As he slowly moves a lil away after looks you in the eye and comes closer again and this time after the chummi moves a lil away again takes his fone out and takes a picture of you side profile and Witt that same rush heads out takes a picture of his car with you!!!!!!!

Some moments reliving some SOME moments and THIS feeeeeeeeeel right now!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chippy you were missed and if you onlyyyyyyyyy knew how much !!!!!!!!!!!!! This time somehow it should reach him even lilst bhi cause this missing right now feeeeeels yes again different!!!!!!!!!

Miss rush!!!!!!

 This rush of missing lately and to be in some place of his to find back that calm!!!!!

The other day at necklace road and the road ahead was closed so couldn’t live the under the tree vibe and you just be there get out take a walk around with your mom still in the car and she asks for ice cream and buttas……this one lil girl with flowers comes over red rose bouquet and she asks to buy and you keep telling her no and finally at ice cream call her back and ask her which ice cream she liked and she denies asking you to buy it for your boyfriend husband lover and you laugh it away saying he is not here but and start talking to her instead for flavour of ice cream and then ask her name before she leaves with the ice cream and she says chethana and that feeeeeewwwl on the inside had to be nai…tell her she has the most beautiful name in the world!!!!!

That feeeeeel stays with you moments like these charlie they don’t really have to be big but on a beautiful night in one of his places where you felt his love for you jn the most beauuuuutiful of ways to just loving the under tree vibe and he notices without you telling him takes the car closer to the trees and one look at him him still watching you with that smiiiiiiiile is when all those lil things you loved did become secondary cause you loooooooved living him his details every lil detail bout him you loved noticing living discovering and loooooooooving each one of them away!!!!!!

That place is to relive his way of love for you!!!!!!!

To just relive feeeeeeeeel that feeeeeeling of his love there!!!!!!

Like you couldn’t stop smiling even getting back in the car the place has changed so much but those very same trees still there only a lil bigger but in the nights it’s a vision to live that place charlie that that beautiful!!!!!!

Specially on a chilly night his way of leaving the car door open playing his music and reliving him away!!!!!!!

Waking up!!!!!!!

 This morning or noon it was eyes shut and as you keep turning one side to the other cause of the cooker ringing out and this one thing to find who invented it even and you finally plug the earplugs in play this track and turn to one side and the same very second like your face lands in his hand cause you could that strongly smell the scent of him and that sudden rush on the inside he was hereeeeee and you try to move your face closer just so you touch him away wit your face without moving all of you just to sense and feeeeel his presence away……

That very moment his daaaaaadi over your face that same smell of his daaadi from that night that you’d smelled for the first time and you actually tell him too that now you looooved the scent of his daaadi too!!!!!!!

And in that very moment today too the waaaay everything inside you smiles awaaaay reliving that same scent of his daaadi away from that night…..and even before you make sense of anything else this rush of him this wild wild rush of him like he missed you that much with sudden moves and moments and to feeeeeeeel relive that same feeeel of his teeth away again something you shouldn’t be writing out and might delete later but this very moment to write out cause it wasn’t just a dream after all……..something’s charlie like you don’t even remember as you avoid reliving certain moments of love knowing the after affects it leaves you with so you just avoid ……..and to live that feeeeeeeeel all over again after all these years was exactly how he left it witg……….that same feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel with that same rush of his and this one point you actually make a sound and wake yourself up……

And run out to check if mom was around your room and then to come to back to the room to him like in your head in that moment you actually thought he would still be there thinking it all to be real like realmy real morning waking up kinda moment…….

And when it hits you it was a dream you try and go back to sleep with that same track on loop hoping it would continue right from there and doesn’t happen…

It was only hours later for the shower you notice it left a mark of color of his love on you same spot………

How what why it still doesn’t make any absolute sense how could that even be possible like that deep of a color same spot it was a dream to think of it it just is not possible!!!!!!

Even writing it now this weird feeeeeel like it’s definitely not just your mind working up the missing in all these ways there’s something to it definitely then why just the dreams…………!

Ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa writing and reliving it now!!!!!!!!

Waking up!!!!!!

 It’s been a recent rush of too much missing him missing his every detail the need to live looove every detail of his even be it his sound just his hand just his forehead just his nose just his chin minus the goatee now just his lip just his shoulder like any detail of his just to live loooooove it away for hours days together and not move an inch away!!!!!!

Like finalky writing it all out cause it’s being atleast said out like you just have to!!!!!!!

It’s toooooo much missing rushing on the inside like you need to let it out kinda vibe ever since the waking up like you try and go for a walk mindless shopping coming home getting nothing at all working cleaning house even cooking for that matter doesn’t help not even a bit……..

And this rush now again as it drizzles for a bit his music playing and you fall asleep for a bit and the sound of his voice that slowly touches your ear away and you move a closer to the sound of his voice not able to hear what he just said but that rush to feel his lip away and you move a lil more and that rough texture and realise you were against the wall that also could be result of too much panda videos lately but the beautiful irony of some moments ……..you couldn’t hear him clear but that need to feel his presence away it’s weird nai charlie how moments like these still happen how are you even able to still hear him this clear like he actually for real whispered something away and woke you up!!!!!!!

Way too many!!

 Said it before will say it a zillion times over!!!!!

Never find too many people to love in that one cause then you lose too many people all at once…

What was supposed to be a friendships day with that vibe of your only ever best friend to these moments of him that you wake up with !!!!!!

Without a loud sound of yourself that wakes you up and you actually run out of the room to check if your mom was close by hoping she didn’t hear you in that moment…

It’s this rush of toooooooo many feeeels today charlie like donno where to start from!!!!!!

Cause when he specially comes like this this you that it’s left you with leaving a mark of his is something you still can’t make sense of…

Like for the first time in a long time there’s THIS much feeeeeeel with a mark this time that you can’t make any absolute sense of!!!!!!!

How’s this even possible knowing you didn’t meet him for real and it was supposed to be just a dream and something like this is something that you’ve only felt lived loved with him and from him…

This mind even reliving it now like the mind this puzzled what how !!!!!!!!!!!

Sound of voice…

 Apart from the zillion other things bout him that you loooooooooved it was his voice too one of them!!!!!!!

And to feeeel relive that feeeeeeel of his voice on a quiet night like this one or last night for that matter is pure purest form of magic ever!!

Like it’s been years since you last heard his voice and still the waaaaay it’s this fresh in moments like these like he actually spoke for real and it wasn’t just your mind replaying the sound of his voice…

Youdays like always this extra touch of Him magic I swear!!

Moments n mood!!!!!!

 All it takes alwaaaays all it takes is a moment of him and this you that it leaves transformed beyond measures is beyond logic I say!!!!!!

A lazzyyy hair all oiled up his trip music playing and reading a book kinda Sunday noon trying your level best to divert your mind off this morning dream cause when he comes like this this you that it’s now feeeeeeling all this away is very VERY difficult to tame the mind down!!!!!!

How do you even hold away hide away all these feeels rushing right now that you can’t just can’t go beyond reading that same darn line over n over again cause the mind I tell you is just not in the book right now…

That one HIM I swear!!!!!!!!!!

Howleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee you gorgeous lil big adoooooooorably sexy thing how only you were missed if you only had the slightest of idea I swear!!!!!!!

Ayyaaaa charlie on some days atleast some mornings atleast like today’s one the missing energy needs has to had to travel throug the air spaces to reach out to him somehow SOMEWAY!!!!!!!!!

Moments!!!!!!

 Moments like these sudden moments of lilst fraction of magic that bring him along is what keeps you going somehow!!!!!!

Like right in the middle of everything there’s this one lilst moment of him and his sound of voice is what that in a way makes you forget the reality and on bad days also reminds you of the same making you go back thinking it was a dream…

Today this moment right was a good day golden hour moemnt again that which you were that used to seeing him at back then…

Kabhi lagta charlie lately when you relive those moments like the recent lift memory recall like it feels like one lifetime cause it’s been THIS long now 7-8 years almost!!!!!!!

Even writing it out made it all the more weird now!!!!!!!!!

Mornings!!!!!!

 SOME mornings like these!!!!!!!!!

There no dream though but this THIS BIG of feeeeeeeels it’s all been like!!!!!!

Be it the hit of nostalgia last night which coming soon but for now this feeeeeeeeeele that’s rushing throug you right now is beyoooooooond logics !!!!!!

Why how or what you right now still donno but this rush of him!!!!!!!!!!!

Workout starts with this amaaaaaaaaazkng set of a find again when you find something as epic as this the only person that rushes through you is Him… even whilst on the treadmill this own dance mode to this sudden neeeeed to get have his psy beedi and just live him away this new feeeel came after a very long time…….to just get high with this set playing and to just live him every bit of him away!!!!!!!

Like it was a viiiiiiiibe workout not just the regular one to the post workout moemnt and this track of kaya and THIS heart to another mode altogether!!!

The first time he makes you listen to kaya project dropping you ack home he was wearing proper pink tee and you keep teasing away saying isn’t that a gay color and he says something that like always shuts you up looks you in the eye and plays kaya project with that smile and look still on…….

Be it that sudden rush of him in his presence that you’d felt or everytime when there’s a deeeeep missing to listen to from Mumbai of the same artist to this one now today…

And flashes of him his expressions his smiles his sadness his lostness his happiness to his peak high passionate version of him like every detail of him his eyes his cheeeeks his nose his adooooooorable nose twitch his lips his skin his hands the hair on his palms his forehead to neck every bit of him, rushes and flashes through you all through the moves like the mind all of you that beauuuuuuuutofully soaked and swept away with all things him…to realising you have loved him sooooo sooooo much like so much and much more than you’ve missed him definitely…

There’s nothing no one absolutely NOTHING that makes you feel the way anything slightest of Him does…!

Ayyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa this mind this you right now THAT fulllllll of him and HOW!!!!!!!!!

It’s Ben a ironically beautiful start to the day already…

Heart mind soul body all of you, just happy…!

Words n moments!!!!!!

 Getting home playing his music loud changing and settling after a very loooooooong work day and beautifully nostalgic Himday out with mom and the very first thing that pops up on your insta feed the sound of some words……specially after a day like this one and you just had to had to write out even before eating!!!!!!

This beautifulllllllyyyyy apt!!!!!!

Morning sounds…

 When you wake up with his sound of voice still ringing through you!!!!!

Like all of last night it was like him right beside you same pillow holding touching sniffing you away with his nibble chummis saying something talking something whispering away like you were loooooving that vibe of his closeness that closest to you in a long while that you just didn’t wanna move or rush and live that beauuuuuuuuty of him!!!!!!!

Like it was for the longest hours almost all night just that feeeeeeel touch and sound of him that you wake up and this THIS huge missing of everything him like suddenly there was no sound you could hear suddenly that beautifully numb all around……

Like it took a few mins or almost half an hour to make sense with the current reality zone of morning and in that moment just that one wish you going back to sleep just so you could continue living him away right from he left!!

It all had that same vibe of his Versova meeeet and that’s why it’s your most looooooved place in the entire face of this earth I say!!!!!

That same sense of suddenly feeling empty like you remember soon as you got off his couch to get ready to leave you just stand there and look at him laying over the couch still looking at you and you tell him ajeeb lagra and that one smiiiiiileeeeeeeeee of his like he exaaaactly knew what and how ajeeb you felt in that moment like you look at all of you and then look at him like suddenly you felt that empty cause that’s how he was laying with you by your side that much closeness for the longest hours and then suddenly empty it was beautifully weird and the beauty of it he knew what and how you’d felt in that very moment!!!!!

That exact same ditto vibe this morning too!!!!!!!!!

That rush to workout to fill it up your way and the waaaaaaaaay finding this track was pure magic!!!!!!!

Flashes of him through the lift looking that beauuuuuuutoful to that gomukasan pose and the second you move your one arm back there was that strong sense of suddenly your hand arm beinf touched or held and writing this out now definitely feels all the more crazy but that’s how that one moemnt felt!!!!!

To the usual his arm over senses and the waaaaay it turned out to be the best postworkout himhighd moments today!!!!! In the longest time!!!!!!

This mind aaaaj thoooooo heights I say!!!!!!!!!

This THIS hiiiiiiiiiiiigh on him!!!!!!!!! Already and it’s just the start of the day!!!!!!!!!!

Some days!!!!!!

 It’s like from that moemnt on your mind was exacccty feeling all this away living him from tiniest of moemnts from that meet to this one wrong turn cause of the jam on your favourite most galli at the shoe making factor Link Road lane and you ask the driver to take the u turn and mentions bout which lane and you were on work call and further adds but straight gaye tho it will be Bombay highway and you in that rush of him moemnt ask sudhakar to take it to straight Bombay only then……

And the driver stops the car for a bit asking you again and another turn and back on route to meet a friend over coffee and late lunch cause you skipped it again today!!!!

The second you stop there right beside there was this cafe small space and right outside smiling C that beauuuutifully lit sighs I tell you charlie every where you see there is one him…..

The mind from there on ever since the moon was this beauuuuutiful lost in all him while she keeps talking bout something and your mind all of you that beautifully lost……where finally she mentions bout how it’s like you are not even here just by your facial expressions!!!!!!

Cause today you just couldn’t help it and finally leave from there taking a longer route home this love for late night or evening drives charlie with music that makes you feeeeeeeeeel him the most away and you live love absolutely every bit of it cause it brings back those late night dropping you home drives wit him him his facial expressions over some songs his moods him taking slower longer route to drop you home and then that adooooooooooooorabke silk face the second you are bout to step out of his car!!!!!!

Those drives was like living him more and falling and rising in love with him all over again……..to watch him drive smile talk chuckle his wayyyyy of sitting every lil detail bout him ayyyaaaaaaaa this mind this heart right now!!!!!!!!

It’s like you feeeeeeel him the most these late evening drives home it’s strange it’s beautiful madness how you do but you do and that very strongly!!!!!!!!

Him Magic!!!!!

 Soooooo yaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!!

Rxqaaactly what happened with that one bike guy turning around and your mind literally turned around and back at your most loved time of your life!!!!!!!

When you are living a moment with that much love it’s ironically beautiful how you are that unaware of what was going to happen after!!!!!!!

Like a 12-14 days or maybe a day or two something like that and you missing him and him missing you away that much to that point of him wanting you to come down and be with him in Bangalore and then eventually comes down to finishing his work and coming back cause he mentions bout he won’t be able to work around you!!!!!!

Like that lil time of missing was the biggest gap back then and then to see him live him relive him after that gap and first sighting of him still this THIS clear the waaaaaaaaay your heart in that very moment goes as you see him through the bars of the lift flashing his biggest teeethy smile possible and loookijf his adooooooooorable best with that daaaaadi ayyyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa this heart even this very moment now as you relive now!!!!!!!

His face always had and will always have your pooooora heart I swear!!!!!!!

There’s no face place thing or person that ever made makes you feel the way the waaaaaaaays anythung to do him used to still does…

Him magic…

 Today a good workout start the main reason was to feel him away with no him this morning and that wait inside but soon as you lay there post workout that weird mind hits back in and you just lay there focus on breathing with track shifts hoping you could get back to the moves and some point feel him these flashes of him with maybe this is the reality sinking in finally after all these years which you are unable to take it all in at one go…

And you are doing your best skipping workout only most times cause you know there’s that biiiiiiig need post workouts to feel a moment of him and you are trying doing your best to hold yourself from that hoping the missing gets better hoping this state of mind heals and gets back to normalcy at some point…

But honestly charlie kitttaaaaaaaaaa karlu nai horaa like this moemnt you write karlu and somehow for weirdest reason beautifully it auto switches to karely!!!!!!

What do you even call moments like these!!!!!

To being out for some work and one guy passing by wears a similar grey and black birthday shirt of His from back then and the way that person suddenly transforms into Him standing there looking at you smiiiiiiling that amworkingmymagiconyou and you damnhellforsureknowthat kinda vibe and you in that jam ask sudhakar to slow down and live that moment live him that whole fully!!!!!!

Like if that wasn’t enough the very next turn a min away some guy speeds ahead on a bike wearing his khaki jacket from Bangalore coming back night with hair overgrown and with your car honk turns around to see and there was him instead with his beauuuuuuuuuuutifulu over grown daaadi smiiiiiiiiling that almsot high smuleeeeeee of his cause he did smoke his psybeedi wit beer on his way to your place cause you could taste all of them in one go and the second you tell him bout it he chuckles away saying taste again and aur Bol what did I eat too!!!!!!

It’s like suddenly all those moments from that very ceryyyy most specialest late night meet rushes through you!!!!!!

That meet of him coming to see you soon back from Bangalore was another one of the most elspeciap ones it had everything that rush of missing that first time feeeeeeling him that way living looooving him that way……to him just living your presence all of you and you doing the same and just feeeeeling that happy all over again the way he adds it was like the first time he was seeing you cause back then there was no video call Skype picture sharing nothing at all just seeing each other directly after what back then felt like the longest time of not having seen him…………………somethingssssssss you write and relive and this THIS very feeeeeling now!!!!!!!!

Agaaaaain lil did you know nai!!!!!!!!!

Weirdich!!

 It’s been one weird mood state of mind currently where some dream some waking up some moemnt though your day sways you off and away only to come back home one look at the mirror in that flying him high state of mind you literally say out to yourself suchaa fool you are nai!!!!!

It’s that thing of him giving his love away for his good which you are happy for him about but what do you even do bout your own this state of mind that finds these lilst moments of magic cause they all fall in one row…

Like it’s one after the other and not just your mind trippin on him but these moments are actually happening for real charlie……

And you just donnooooo what to do bout this you!!!!!

It’s like sudden you see something and you are smiiiiiiling away with all your heart akele akele cause you alone knowwwwww the way he came along with the brush of the wind and swept you off and away like from that moemnt on it’s all him that you can think feeel live away even looking out the window…….

These very moments the waaaaaay they fill you up with THAT much him in faction of a second is beyoooooooond logics I swear!!!!!!!

Some days !!!!!!!

 Too many moments !!!!!!

Transition!!!!!

You knowwwww your heart stuck with him in that black shirt when you wake up again to him in that same shirt and now amidst shower getting ready you can’t stop smiling over the dream recall!!!!!!

To having scrambled egg for breakfast and the pepper flake comes out that perfectly in a black heart shape form…

Beautiful conincidences or just your mind trippin over him in that beauuuuuuty!!!!!!!!!

If only dreams could transition into reality soon as you dream live it like the night transforms into morning…

Like that beautifully easy!!!!!!!