sucha long time...!

 It's been this strange need to sort of hold back from writing moments like mentioned with that strangeky beautiful hope...something's nai are just beyond reasons or logics you just go by wty that one feeel one string of hope that you just can't help but.....hold onto!!

No matter how strong the urge to write there is a much stronger string of something as beautiful as a hope that you rather keep up with.....

Ever since the start of your most MOST loved month of your life October there are these lilst moments of magic in moments be it dreams random sounds and faces in the crowds or anything to evrything the waaaaaaays it just brings him along and HOW!!!!!!

and that one struggle be it in the mornings post dreams or moments through your morning stretch just that hint of him strong feeeeel of him and then to hold back is something else...

To prolly was the heights of all moments of magic ..... out today to get few Pooja things from the general bazar and on your way there as you pass by the His Sai abab temple at Rani gunj thatvone strongest rush of him be it the then beauuuuty of him staying out and today you feeling the same not wanting to step into the temple for the obvious reason.....it just felt that strange lil did you know back then that one moment with him was soon going to change your life change you away and HOW!!!!!!!

Get the work done on your way back and right few shops back the car breaks down for the very first time......it just doesn't start!!!!

Like venky struggles not understanding what how why a lil walk ahead was the temple and right outside was the exact same his blue skoda parked out same model not his one though....if that wasnt a strong in your face kinda sign that was in a way pulling you closer not sure what else could be...

Get off ask Venky to check with the battery guy as you google the issue and shows some battery clip thing....walk to the temple and just that need to step inside...

Once there it was under renovation and baba moved to the other side.....and that first question soon as you see him how does it feel like not being home and outside looking in......it was a strange moment cause evr since you were a kid the only god idol guru you ever knew worshipped was Sai Baba......like mom literally used to make you pray first thing in morning like no other than him......

And today when there the waaaaay everything him Rushes through you.....

Being there with him for the first time to stepping out and just watching him looking at you the way he was soon inside when you ask him to bring his face closer the way he just looks you in the eye the whole moment the vibe of that moennt his face his that smile that one smile in theatvmonent to once you apply vibudhi the touch of your finger that one wiiiidest smile possible that complete moment, beyond!!!!!!!!

Today once done with darshan applying vibudhi with him on your mind step outside and just stay there for a bit with that spot in sight.....

Something's you just donno the waaaaay standing there today inside the temple with some pantulu on the fone screaming the polish sound and strong smell everything around just disappears it's that beautiful blank zen vibe that you can feeeeelbthat oneness with the place with the moemnt playing in your mind.....like that outwordly experience that's not normal like you are there in your present self qnd yet living the moemnts wit him from back then where he actually comesvwith you inside the temple the n3xt time when there after coming back from Bangalore with his cheque in hand.....

Something's even when you write now this THIS feeeeeeeeeeeel!!!!!!

This one rap song and just this one line off it, such a long time been sucha long time...!