Way too long!

 Been waaay too long and this time more so cause there was so much to write say out to just feel out and then you knew if you did write that first word down it’ll all come out and then to read that state of mind wasn’t something you are anyway prepared for well in adv!

It’s that thing charlie sometimes it’s just better off in your head than to write it out and then read your own mind out is when it sort of makes it all the more complicated …

This time was different felt different cause suddenly all those dreams moments all these years that you’d felt and more importantly lived suddenly lost the meaning all of it like all this while it was just you….. your mind!

The beauty of the difference being you found your friend back may not be the same way but that beauty of just presence charlie like suddenly all the other feels for him gone wooosh bolke all you felt was that clean friend vibe kinda vibe like struggling still cause the only man you’ve ever felt things for lived things for suddenly it all just got transformed back to clean friend but that beauty sheer pure beauty of a presence and you’ve been getting these compliments the way suddenly it looked like you’ve changed looks wise looking better with those sudden compliments from manager clients mom you are looking pretty aaj kal even with that sudden calmness in you it was showing on the outside losing weight with those compliments on n off!!!!!

Till you see it for yourself in those rose high selfies at the studio!

Back then too charlie post opera meets and you look at yourself in that mirror of his in car and check for any his color of love on you and the way the waaaaaaay he would tjat beautifully slow the car down take it to the side and drive dheere watching you look at your own self and you look at him ans ask him a zillion times how come his love makes you glow that beautiful like suddenly you are transformed you just look different than to what you did before!

And that one smileeeeee of his just that one smile with that one nod of his only much later did he tell you the reason but it’s always been that way charlie it just does something to you where on the inside there is this vast calmness not sad not upset just being just be…..that one beautiful not unsettling but just that state of calmness with work and everything !

To a day like this one today moments like these that always always give you that feeeeel of this is why this is exactly why you feel the way you do and what you feel is yours alone!

To just these selfies that make you see the change literally!

It’s acceptance maybe, can’t change the way things are can’t change the way you are cause it’s always been this way always has been…