Today!

 It’s that feeeeeling charlie having food listening to their conversation and yet mind is on that flight mode lil rose high and THAT much of him high with every song that one feeel of him with that lil inside conversation I know what you are doing to me kinda thing as the song plays!

It’s like that lil world in your head that’s off n away from everything happening on the outside to much later when she mentions there is this small party thing her family had arranged for her n husband post wedding thing and you had to attend n stuff with her on way back!

To the sec she mentions bout dressing up or you to change and you go as it is!

Once there too many people you had no idea bout who was who with your manager at the bar already you find your space and just be…..

Still looking at the first self shot shoot pics and that one song his music again nicolas Jaar one that he shared with you back then!

That one feeeeeeel charlie where the heart goes okay there you are!

A crowd around you off n on hellos n his cause you barely knew anybody with just beer in one hand and suddenly him all around !!!!!!

That sense of ambience suddenly transforming to all him and as you look around it was dark already and the sky that beautifully lit with the lightening on n off and that chill in the air as it was rooftop!

That one feeeeeeel and just that need to see him and comes online for a bit tabhi!

Some moments even in that moment just that one smile and play his music on and just be……

That one corner somebody talking to the manager at the counter and the hairdo from the back white shirt jeans and that feeeeeeel charlie it was like in your mind you were seeing him there like the mind does this to you or maybe the beer was too strong n bitter but that one feeeeeel charlie!!!!!

The music the chill in the air and just that feeel of him high and the hairdo exactly as his and your mind lost it sure was and HOW!!!!!!

The person turns you look away turns around back at living the hairdo cause that’s how much you’ve missed his actual presence to live him for real and is when you realise how you’ve lived him loved him passionately howlaly anyway the way it’s just his presence that you look for find peace in you don’t feel empty in those moments there’s nothing that you miss in that moment but just that peace that love that something in finding Him in moments like these…..

Living that moment still that echo of his words when he says concerned for you that you are wasting that much love on wrong person cause he doesn’t feel that way for you…..

You can never make anybody love you charlie there’s nothing you can do bout it and once in love there’s nothing anybody can do to change that either…..

It’s beyond you it’s just beyond you…!

No matter what the situation circumstances are you just can’t do a thing bout it, it’s just love and just love that you feel!!!!!

It’s that feeeel charlie no mans presence nobody’s that you look for in anyway attention conversation anything at all cause you are that full of Him!!!!!

And not caring bout him not loving you anymore is when you also understand it’s not obsession or anything negative either cause now the one online is the friend the one that you live in your moments dreams is the Him…..

Today just living those moments of filling up for his absence the way it was making you feel how you feeeeel all this for him it’s how much his love back then living him loving him back then in lilst of moments has filled you away with that much of him….it’s like there’s nothing more to change it for somebody else there’s no space more there’s no love more as weird as this sounds when you miss love when you miss moments of love in anyway it’s him that you miss with and not just miss living that side of love!!!!!!

It’s the way he is just there charlie no matter where you are what you are doing the waaaaay everything inside of you just feels transformed like you can just feeel the love in random most moments through the day with you no matter what!!!!!

Howlaaa wrong person Kate!!!!!!

What do you how do you even tell him when he calls it wasting on somebody wrong !!!!!!

Howleeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!

You were missed…!