The continuation!

 The chats whatsapp ones to this beautiful skype one also youd saved read it after years now!!!!!

Back then too he used to mention sometimes how he was passionate and you somehow didn’t!

Recalling that you with him reliving that side of you with him after years yesterday was that one realisation how in fact you were maybe same or more passionate bout him than he was…..it was your first time phase of liking loving the whole idea of intimacy him being the first and only one you’ve lived that with not sure if writing it out here is right but just this need to write your mind out write what you are as a person cause this you did realise it only yesterday bout yourself….

It was the continuation that you missed the connection the missing of connection that sort of made you go back to your shell like today you sure may not remember how to chummi now like going back to the start all the way!

It’s how you feel charlie like that continuation of a process of loving someone bit by bit and the second you are there that one disconnection again pulling you back at the start again….you we’re definitely most immature when he was being the most adorable one possible not really getting it and with your own inhibition of missing out on the whole continual process of loving it instead looked like you lacked the passion for love to love…..

There’s so much of him in you from all the first times to just that feel of him that you couldn’t just couldn’t picture yourself living it allowing somebody to even get close to what you felt wit him and all of this wasn’t something you were deciding making yourself do but who hota nai andar see you don’t just feel like the way the skin denies a touch a love a presence kinda thing!

Reading that Skype chat of his you could exactly relive his very expressions in some words when you mention look at your face look at your nod see the way you are smiling all of these mentioned in the chat you could relive the exact same expressions of his as you read em yesterday….

There was that mix of feels yesterday to relive that him relive that you immature one but that beauty of living those first times with him and him mentioning the same how he knew it all…..

To that feeling after the chat trying to make yourself understand the situation and knowing how to draw the line and address talk chat as friends it’s like still writing not even close to what it all felt like….

There is this calm charlie weird calm how just having him as a friend too did leave a smile on your face….

Some realisations and moments you can never be prepared for well in advance nai!