some experiences you feel live are beyond logics or reasoning...
been years now and somehow with every year birthday you lose a lil more hope than the previous but that hint of hope still remained..... just that the say strength of hope level of hope kept getting lower with every year....
this year too why abhi not sure but this year too it somehow was there !!
despite of knowing that strongly it was pointless this year too and yet it still was there in some deep corner....
where just a day or two before your bithrday you were reminded by one of your friends bout it being your birthday soon like until then you did forget your own...
last nite was the loneliest youve ever felt after the bup....
like the first time you felt this worst lonely was right after the realization of the bup....
and it happened again after years last nite.....
where your mom this year for the first time did forget it was your bitrhday and neither did you care reminding her bout it and just let her be.... her usual bed time and you up on your own......
you have chosen this way of life knowing just knowing he never was really there and yet the way you felt for him has been there unchanged with no matter what the circumstances were.....
but all of that suddenly changed.....
last nite up on your own watching some movie with breezer....
like the bottle just stayed there so did the movie just playing and you were lost !!
it was the worst feeling for the first time in years last nite.....
like something in you realized way too many things bout life and love more importantly....
loving someone is one thing and allowing yourself to be loved now you realize is smthing else !!
felt too many things that you realized you are missing out on !!!!!!!!
the worst feeling in years !!!!!!!!!!
not sure if it was birthday cause it never really mattered or was it cause it was on a sunday of all the days donnnooo what it was but it was definitely the worst feeling ever....
been years now and somehow with every year birthday you lose a lil more hope than the previous but that hint of hope still remained..... just that the say strength of hope level of hope kept getting lower with every year....
this year too why abhi not sure but this year too it somehow was there !!
despite of knowing that strongly it was pointless this year too and yet it still was there in some deep corner....
where just a day or two before your bithrday you were reminded by one of your friends bout it being your birthday soon like until then you did forget your own...
last nite was the loneliest youve ever felt after the bup....
like the first time you felt this worst lonely was right after the realization of the bup....
and it happened again after years last nite.....
where your mom this year for the first time did forget it was your bitrhday and neither did you care reminding her bout it and just let her be.... her usual bed time and you up on your own......
you have chosen this way of life knowing just knowing he never was really there and yet the way you felt for him has been there unchanged with no matter what the circumstances were.....
but all of that suddenly changed.....
last nite up on your own watching some movie with breezer....
like the bottle just stayed there so did the movie just playing and you were lost !!
it was the worst feeling for the first time in years last nite.....
like something in you realized way too many things bout life and love more importantly....
loving someone is one thing and allowing yourself to be loved now you realize is smthing else !!
felt too many things that you realized you are missing out on !!!!!!!!
the worst feeling in years !!!!!!!!!!
not sure if it was birthday cause it never really mattered or was it cause it was on a sunday of all the days donnnooo what it was but it was definitely the worst feeling ever....
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