after that worst feeling of your birthday and that feeeeeeel of being hit by the worst realization ever !!!!!!1
taking slow at work and actually saying a hi back to the guy in the apartment it was like your way of fighting over smthing getting over smthing you dint like that a bit cause it totally looked way out of the way and yet like you were doing it intentionally still donnooo why !!!!!
just a day before christmas and you were looking for a good christmas cake for your mom and this place your friend suggests and head over for the first time it was concu....
loved the vibe of the place find that corner for a coffee and just be.....
looking out his music playing and with that much crowd around there was still that calm.... some places could do that to you like you know give your own space of mind despite of being over filled with people.....
this place had that vibe....
and before you know manas comes over as he was sitting on the table behind you and jsut bout to sit over to the one next to you and the sec you see the guy sitting over that space that smthing in you like it just shakes you up need to shut the eye that very sec and you see him spooning out the froth from his cup and trying to feed you with tht spoon like that very sec that one visual of his smiiiiiiiiling that smile looking you in the eye with spoon in his hand and you just get off saying you had to leave.....
with the coffee still there like you just had to leave cause you felt him that strongly and also realized his massive absence in that very sec.....
like from him being that THAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT close to you to him being nowhere around.....
it was a sudden fall !!!!!!
a bad one !!!!!!!!!
head over to the counter and that same beauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuutiful feeeeeeeeling rushing inside of you after YEARS when you feel his presence for real.....
that same rush and calm breathing through you and you look to your side and there he was leaning over the counter a lil white shirt khaki chaddis hands folded over the counter smiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiling that smile at you and asks you kyaa karri bey and you just nod away to that and the waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay he nods back that one nod of his like in sync with your nod and then asks you kyaa khaati raising his eyebrows away that same very same exact same way that he used to back then ask you kyaa khaaati.....
and you nod again try to take your hand closer to his reaching out to touch him and you hear mam mam is that all look over to the other side of the counter and theer weer people waiting for you to give the card look to your side again and there was no him......
after the bup there have been only twice the times that youve felt him that strongly be there with you for you in the waking state.....
the first time after bup was in the bombay meet at his versova place and the second time was at this place that day that moment when you see him actually see him for real standing there in all his beauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuty of the daaaaaaaaaaaadi with that one melting you awaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay smile and nod of his like actually for real see him standing there THAT close to you !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
you still donnnnoooooooooooo what how or why it was !!!!!!!!!!!!
like even writing it now puts a smile on your face.....
its madness i know but the therapist says its all fine maybe its the connection that you share with him that makes you feel his presence.... like it actually is normal and actually happens for real when two people have shared a stronger bond and connection !!
smthings you can never explain define or reason out i guess !!!!!!!!!!!
it just is the way it is !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
taking slow at work and actually saying a hi back to the guy in the apartment it was like your way of fighting over smthing getting over smthing you dint like that a bit cause it totally looked way out of the way and yet like you were doing it intentionally still donnooo why !!!!!
just a day before christmas and you were looking for a good christmas cake for your mom and this place your friend suggests and head over for the first time it was concu....
loved the vibe of the place find that corner for a coffee and just be.....
looking out his music playing and with that much crowd around there was still that calm.... some places could do that to you like you know give your own space of mind despite of being over filled with people.....
this place had that vibe....
and before you know manas comes over as he was sitting on the table behind you and jsut bout to sit over to the one next to you and the sec you see the guy sitting over that space that smthing in you like it just shakes you up need to shut the eye that very sec and you see him spooning out the froth from his cup and trying to feed you with tht spoon like that very sec that one visual of his smiiiiiiiiling that smile looking you in the eye with spoon in his hand and you just get off saying you had to leave.....
with the coffee still there like you just had to leave cause you felt him that strongly and also realized his massive absence in that very sec.....
like from him being that THAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT close to you to him being nowhere around.....
it was a sudden fall !!!!!!
a bad one !!!!!!!!!
head over to the counter and that same beauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuutiful feeeeeeeeling rushing inside of you after YEARS when you feel his presence for real.....
that same rush and calm breathing through you and you look to your side and there he was leaning over the counter a lil white shirt khaki chaddis hands folded over the counter smiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiling that smile at you and asks you kyaa karri bey and you just nod away to that and the waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay he nods back that one nod of his like in sync with your nod and then asks you kyaa khaati raising his eyebrows away that same very same exact same way that he used to back then ask you kyaa khaaati.....
and you nod again try to take your hand closer to his reaching out to touch him and you hear mam mam is that all look over to the other side of the counter and theer weer people waiting for you to give the card look to your side again and there was no him......
after the bup there have been only twice the times that youve felt him that strongly be there with you for you in the waking state.....
the first time after bup was in the bombay meet at his versova place and the second time was at this place that day that moment when you see him actually see him for real standing there in all his beauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuty of the daaaaaaaaaaaadi with that one melting you awaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay smile and nod of his like actually for real see him standing there THAT close to you !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
you still donnnnoooooooooooo what how or why it was !!!!!!!!!!!!
like even writing it now puts a smile on your face.....
its madness i know but the therapist says its all fine maybe its the connection that you share with him that makes you feel his presence.... like it actually is normal and actually happens for real when two people have shared a stronger bond and connection !!
smthings you can never explain define or reason out i guess !!!!!!!!!!!
it just is the way it is !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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