Dontevenknow!!

 This is absolute absoluteeesesely beautiful madness I say!!!!!!

The way he has been coming the way you’ve been feeling the way it’s all been transforming away and turning you into this YOU that you were back then with him and in his presence is just going beyoooooooond evrry logic possible!!!!!! 

This you that’s being lately at work trying your best to hide and yet they notice the obvious change in you and you jsuttttttytt can’t fight hide it cause this you when happens there’s no hiding fighting from!!!!!!

But it’s never been this way and this beautifully hard hitting I say I swear!!!!!!!

Like you feeeeeeel him that strong like that’ strong not just your mind but every inch of you feeeeels senses him even after the waking up too the waaaaaay it all feels on the inside outside that you actually met him for real and is also what’s driving you mad absolutely mad lately missing him that and away soon as you are up!!!!!!

That’s making you search for him all the more around places just to find him…

To yesterday when you were supposed to be on that road trip to Bombay like by now you should’ve been there in Bombay but again the trip changes cause of your mom being able to travel long distance immediate due to heavy blood loss suggested by the doctor!!!!

It was for a friends exhibition and also a possible meet with an investor and collaborator for a store there that you’ve been planning since over an year now, now again pushed to another after 2 months…

Like in your mind you were that set to be there in Bombay and the very first thing to do the second you are there was be at Versova like straight go there like it was all set to the itinerary planned out literally……

And it was feeeeling all ajeeb inside and you decide to head out for a long drive skipping lunch away with your model friend…..like she is on the fone as always and you ask sudhakar to take it as long and as far as it goes over your most loved route of Narsingi to almost Bombay highway…..

It’s this feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel charlie everytime when there like in your gut you feeeeel you’ve been there on the same road with him specially worn it’s night time and the way all you could feeeeel live was him from those drives back home from opera last night…….like just looking out with this new music find and living that THAT much him away that one point she pinches your arm hard to literally get you out of the zone and now it left a mark……in your head again smiling away as and when you see it cause any mark like that on your skin takes you always takes you back to his colors of love over your skin…

And color variations depending upon the level of his missing you…

Like there was that missing that strong and always coming home you are so so soooo damn lost!!!!!!

It’s that blank numbness that you feel all of inside missing him away that bad!!!!!!!!

It’s his skin his eyes his smile his face his nose his lips his shoulders his hands the fine hair on his hands and chest his legs his small curvy ears every inch of him that rushes through you every glimpse stare smile scream and sound of him rushes through you!!!!!!

It’s like suddenly feeeeeeeeelig him away THAT much you come back so damn lost wondering where did he go!!!!!!

To this himcoming last night too!!!!!!!

Like you FELT him for that long and the way in beyeeen he points out to that shirt in the other side of the bed saying naam ke liye shirt there exact same way that you call the back shots in shoots saying naam ke liye back shot!!!!!

Looks back at you and that one stare cause he was off shirt and smiiiiiiiles away seeing your nervousness you can actually check me out and that’s when you actually do looking away from his face and over him……..something’s you write now relive now hands shaky goosebumps all over!!!!!!!!

There was that mucn him that clear that strongly clear and feeling him that you wake up and first thing look beside turn to that side of him wanting to hold him wanting to live that moennt again there was THAT MUCH want in that moment when you turn towards him……..and the level of disappointment not finding him there was SOMETHJNGELSE!!!!!!!!

Ankle a lil strained still and yet you just had to feel him do a lil workout and not being to do the himflows you switch to the inversions!!

And all you could feeeeeeeeeeeel was him from the drives late nights and you talking bout something like going on n on and he would sjust look you in the eye with that one smile and sometimes suddenly pull over checking the place around and that same second holding your face away chummi eat your face up literally………and this beauuuuuty today as you were reliving that moennt in some move sweat drip over the spine and you in that very moment feeeeeeeeel that gentle brush of his hand over the back to the neck and that same feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel again!!!!!!!!!

It was MADNESS the waaaaaaaaaay it only made this already state of you this beautifully worse!!!!!!!

It’s driving you mad literally missing these details of him away every bit of him every bite of him!!!!!!!

How do you tame it down how do you hold it all in os something just not understanding I say!!!!!

Like even now this him highdddddddddddd like you are this high in your head right now too!!!!!!!

How do you feeeeeeeel all this him and in WAYS like this and not for real find him there…