To live Him...

 It's this beauuuuuty of living him through the lilst moments through your day or in the dreams of yours.....

Even now scrolling through Instagram about some friends event right below it it was a book post with the wake up sid image of Konkona smelling the books away with that beauuuutiful echo of his voice talking bout the smell of fresh books or on 26th noon of October to see one of your friends post pic in the very same gvk hard Rock cafe......

To just live these moments of him and then there is a moennt like yesterday....

When you finally decide again for the zillionth time to just let him be the way he wants you and delete him off WhatsApp.....

Like off late it's this feeeeling not sure cause you feel away more during this time of the year like the before and after hits you harder this time around every year.....

Like you are alone there lost in the crowd kinda weird feeeeling and sit over to watch the Holmes part 2 that you were looking forward to and sleep half way through......change side and that one smellllll of him move a lil closer and you could feeeeeel his fuzzy hair all over your forehead and nose almost thatvone feeeeeeeeeel charlie evry single time like ever lil single cell in your body with that rush to just hold him away to just open your eyes and live that beauuuuuuutt of his presence away and then there's also that most side of you staying calm as best as you could cause you knew you open your eyes any sudden move he would disappear and you just that baaaaaaad wanted to live that feeeeeeeel of his presence that THAT close to you and even before you try to go kore closer the way he comes closer and starts to chummy away your face every inch of face saying that one word slow whisper on repeat with evry chummi almost "why"!!!!!!

The way you were in that beauuuutiful fix ofbthe moennt if to just feeeeel away that closeness that moennt of him living lilst details of your face that way or wonder what the why was about.....

To that very second when he holds you away after many whys with that beauuuutiful chummi way again like he did that one different way in versova....

The second he holds you away you wakeup with some loud scene from the film still playing.....it's only after the waking up that one feeel the why felt that connected with you deleting him off WhatsApp.....add him back that very second again it's this one of those zillion things that can never make any sense.....

Uve been off his for years now and yet one moment of you doing the very same and the waaaaay it makes you feeeel live him away that very moemnt like always all these years is waaaay beyond you can ever possibly understand or make sense of......!