Whattonly!

 Officially been over a week now when you literally spend almost an hour of ways to put your into dreams like how do u land into dreamscape ways of how to dream literally googled out the entire google to find ways to live him…

Running on 4 hours sleep wake up with red eyes and yet no him!!!!!!!

Aisa kiye toh kaisaaaaa chalta it’s that feeeeel charlie like soon as you woke up with just no feel of him realising not a single second of his presence and head out to the balcony look up and that one loud scream of complain running on the inside and your mom walks up to you saying yes you need to spend sometime like this also instead of rushing through your morning…..

Like what looked like calm on the outside was a beautiful chaos that was rushing through you!!!!!!

Ayaaaaaaaaaaaaa ye kyaaaaa tho bhi hai kaisaaa chalta ki!!!!!!

Workout done somehow and just like always with sublime moments of slow stretch it’s that mind search kinda thing to relive him day dream bout moments lived with him like who nai hota mind somehow finds it’s own way out somehow to feeeeeeel him away!!!!!!

If only you had the slightest of idea waaaaaaaays you are missed howleeee!!!!!

Kyaaaaaaa tho bhiiii!!!!!!!!

Ironically beautiful trip...

 That day standing there in GVK looking up turning around reliving him in corners with vhs music playing you were completely ignorant of the sounds and faces around...

All you could wanted to see feeeeeel live hear was him in that moment....

There was THAT much him charlie like the second someone stops by asking you for some store on which floor you had to pausee the music to listen and that sudden feeeel of it just you there alone it almost felt like that one big transition from that much him that much love to suddenly it was just you there.....and the aunty asks again which floor beta and all you could come up with you were there after years and show her mall map atthe other end that she can refer to...

It was that feel charlie similar to the one you live in some dreams around places but there it's that transition of being alone looking around and then finding him waiting for you as you look...

This felt ulta it was from that much him to just you now...... something's again you write also making you feeel that inside whisper told you so exactly why you refrained from writing the day out.......

It's this feeeeeeeel can't fight or hide from!!!!!

Moments!!!!

 The week started off with a news of theft of design sheets from the workshop which was huge!!!!!!

Had to check with the footage who did it and then to fire the entire zardozi team and get a new one was a task!!!!!

Took most of your mind and energy out cause dealing with things like these you weren't prepared for and then to get the work pace back on track was another story altogether.....but eventually it did happen forbthe best but it's that thing charlie the work being complicated staying back till late to sort things out to change things adding more cameras assigning staff and stuff was hetcic and through everything there were moments of him be it with sound or some random person walking past by in a similar grey and black print shirt from his birthday back then in 2009...

It's like you are that stressed head out with your coffee and just looking around with his music still playing and you see someone walking in that similar shirt it's that rush of him moments like these bring along charlie which hits you on another level only....

To this very moment today done with work to shop for few things head to that mall you always forget the name of to Kukatpally and this one route late at night specially you looooooove!!!!!!

Late evening to back at late night it's a viiibe of Him tat it fills you up with!!!!!!

This track playing shut your eyes and that one change in beat open your eyes and to your side instead of the window you see him in his back then grey Arri high collared t shirt driving turns and looks at you with that one smiiiiiiiileeeeee eyes that beauuuuuutifully shy high just that one vision right then and there......

It's that zooooop bolkeee feeeeel it left you with that very second someone on the bike tries to pass by as there was traffic on the flyover bhi Aaj tho brown leather jacket just like he had bagpack of his from the gym with that mesh detail and the number plate was 7272!!!!!

This yove always noticed there is that series of signs that always comes along when you have a strong vision like this one today of his...

Like it's not just that one moment but the series of moments that follows after in that beautiful sync!!!!

Mind has been disturbed lately with last few days no dream of his and then that realisation prolly the first time this year when he didn't unblock you in years.....something's when you don't wanna think bout cause one thing leads to another and that somehow very thing makes it way to your head feels ajeeb nai mein nai sochri firbhi why somehow some Galli it makes it way to ting your mind away!!!!!

Some realisations nai ajeeber they get when you think of it.....like that sudden lostness weird......!

Lift!!!!

 Soooooo yaaaaaah!!!!!!!

From there to the place inside like you just stand there and look around plugij his music and just be there it was that beautiful feeeling of lost in your most loved and most lived time of your life...

To just re feeeel that feeeeeling that sense of feeling the most happiest you ever were.....

It's like you saw him in almost every corner the seating there the escalator some stores just passing by to the second you reach the lift the liftman asking which floor mam and you donno and that one puzzled look and you just stand there looking out from the lift shutting your eyes away reliving that moennt with him in lift from mahashivratri the wAaay that bad packed with people with his family along the way he makes his way to you when finds that man getting close to you.....as you look down and shut your eyes away tight just so you avoid visually livinf how close that random man was standing soon as you look up cause the vibe suddenly felt different comforting familiar loved the scent that feeel of him lookup and there he was.....like you for an instance do seem him at the other end of the lift like from the entrance amd you were far end of the lift and he tries to move but couldn't as it was post movie crowd.....but that very second as you look up the way he that beauuutifully felt like surrond3d you with him!!!!!!

It's that feeeeeeeeeel charlie when there it's not just his love it was much beyond than that it was his presence it was all of him not one something bout him!!!!!!

There is that beauty of some places when you've lived someone that strongly in that place it sort of marks the place away...maybe for life!!

Places n faces!!!!

 It's like you just needed to be somewhere where you can feeel him even more after that one moment of his face vision that you experienced in the middle of the cctv footage discussion!!

And the second you are there even at the gate of GVK the lit hardrock name the Starbucks which then was CCD the stairs there the security check where the second they ask you to stop to check you just stand there and watch people get on n off it but not a single one even close to similar to the waaaaay he just looked!!!!!!

It was like you were in awe of every move of his like stand there in awe of someone and just feeeeel that lucky to be in love finally!!!!!!!

To the sight of the lift there it's like that's one place in evry corner you feel him still live him still and HOW!!!!!!!!

going to GVK was after a very long time but the second you are there there's THAT much him there still charlie soon as you get off the car stand there looking at that ccd corner stairs down that very visual of him still standing there with wait on his face like that damn sure of you coming back for him like the second he sees you rushing back to him from that small hint of smile to that biggest smile flashing all over his face......should've seen his face in that very moment charlie like you witnessed the transition from that smile to that much Khushi of knowing you would for sure and to you that meant the world to just kn9w he knew you that well THAT WELL!!!!!!!!

First time hold him away like literally run to him and first question how did you know and just that beautiful silence in that moment like he just wanted to live that feel live that moment away!!

It was only much after the way like always he that beauuutifully defines that moment feel out...i just knew karely cause it felt like you were taken away like something jst pushed and I knew you will come back to me!!!!!

The bahana was ur fone that you tell hus sister to rush back to him cause something just didn't feel right like you had to correct something complete something fill up something and the second you hold him back that one feeeeeeeel charlie even writing it now ayyyaaaaaaa this very reason you avoided all this while to write out the feeeeeeels of GVK!!!!!!!!

The week that was!!!!!

 It was one adventurous last few days in the most complicated of ways at work!!

Too many things to tackle with and then there is this rush of him like that’s all you need is that one moment one vision randomly you live out of nowhere some sound some shirt anything him and right in the middle of the chaos there is your beauuuuutiful calm right there!!!!!

Brushes you away with all things mush and happy!!!!!

It’s like dealing with complicated things that you were least prepared for at work and lost and confused and then there is that one vision as you close your eyes that one face and the waaaaaaay it immediately makes all your insides smile away and how and you just get off and head out to gvk!!!!

Once there just like always every corner of that one place laced away with everything him!!!!!!

And HOW!!!!!

Moooood!!!!!

 The day today evening rather was some mooooood!!!!!

Another one of those zillionth time when you re realise what and how much that one face that one moment with him to live him means to you!!!!!!!!

Just a second of vision and the feeeeeels it left you with was beyond words!!!!!!

Even writing it out now this very feeeeeeeeeel it rushes through you!!!!!!!!!

Weirderooaaar!!!!!

 It’s gettting weirderoooaaarrr now!!!!!

Been a few days now for the first time in a row!!!!!!!

It’s that one loud rooooaaaar that’s just bout ready to be roooared out I say!!!!!!!

Again when you re realise what and how much this even means to you to feel live sniff him away even be it in the dream bhi now!!!!!!!

And then there are these tracks ekdum se that sort of take your mind out on a Him tour right in between the workout and the feeeeeels I swear like you donno the word to word lyric of it but that ring of some words what you do to meeee!!!!!!

It’s like always again only after workout google out the lyrics!!!!!

Why you still donno kaiku ab aisa bhi hora then there’s that wait and search for her fone still no luck!

Kyaaaaaa horaaaaaa!!!!!!

Messy!

 One messy start to the day already when you wake up half asleep and no sighting of his still it’s that weird feeeel in the stomach I say!!!!

To when first thing your manager lands with a messy news and you need to take care of it now!!!!!

Strange realisation ekdum se ineee aye somehow the day feeeels good like right from the start not sure again if it’s just mind like always or it really does make that bit of a difference…

Rush rush workout squeezed in somehow and as manager still discussing whilst you working out and that one track with the stretch and this rushhhhhh of him that puts a smile on ur face and she fataaak se gets off to listen to what made you smile ekdum se doesn’t get the beauty of the track but some tracks charloe wooooooosh bolkeeee all his feeeeels it brings along with…

Logic with music and feels can never get it just the way it is…!

Weird start hope it gets better ahead!!!! 

How Now!!

 Ur Miss you code with Him from back then - “how now”!!!!!

Too much to write too many feels and then you stumble upon your absolute fav from childhood a series based on Adams family which you loved as a kid!!!!

And the magic happens with words this time with the mention of How now pilgrims!!!!

Wednesday the series second fav after better call Saul a recent find again..

No sighting!!!!!

 Not a single sighting especially after the weird state of misseeeing you were living and feeeling away!!!!!

That wait to just see him live his orsence away and you wake up with no single moment of sighting!!!!!!

It’s been a good start work wise already but this feeeeeeeeel can’t fight can’t hide can’t just take it to be normal with no sighting of him……

Mid workout of all the tracks you find this one of Ed and the words and the feeeeeels I say!!!!!!

It’s this also another thing that’s been tinging you away off late you miss him with you now also like his actual presence for real!!!!!!

Finding new places new food new anythung and that neeeed to be with him there tabhi k tabhi!!!!!

It’s a weird mood aaj and you hoped the workout will make it better but Naah!!!!

The sound of magic I say atleast did bring back the smile on a weird face start of the day today!!

It’s only when you experience and live things like as lil as a dream of his and miss out on that too for a night makes you realise how much of you it did become… nai!!

Ajeeb feeels aaj!!!!!

That wait!!!!

 From that moment to that wait to find her fone cause the missing was another level today just like evry single day actually no!!!!!

That one beloved circle but sadly it was for Vettel yesterday's race being his last one!!!!

Also right from the start of the race atvsome point atleast Hamilton will make it but nai after a point it almost felt like it's not F1 it's max1 all through this season!!!!!

Sooo yaaaah itvwas a Vettel post but that one second seeing that circle after longest and the way your heart literally jumps out with that same vibe i can't take more beats than this kinda sudden rush hoping!!!!

Vettel it was......!

A day like today!!!!!

 Once done wit the order process they had to leave....like all that while talking to his mom and the way she comments on he doesn't really talk much with new people like it takes time but the way he was standing holding one finger of yours and she adds he doesn't look like he is ready to leave you and go...

The sound of some statements and words hits you another level nai!!!!!!

Like till the lift he wasn't ready to leave your finger while she keeps saying will come back again and he keeps rechecking with his mom asking her over n over again you promise you promise.....

Goes down as you stand there over the balcony still looking down and that one wave like immediately as he goes down stands there looks up and waves at you till the second he was put back in the car.....

That one visual and a zillion times lived the very same Him downstairs at his car you standing at the other side of the stairs your fav spot and the way he would wait there for a bit live your presence give a flying chummi and then get into the car.....

It's like a string of pearls again one pearl and the way it all comes together...one after the other!!!!!

Today felt like reliving him from that very first moment of knowing his name to the............!!!!!!

This strange feeel of realisation when living these very moments it feels different you are happy and all but it's this very moment of reliving these very moemnts and connecting to the moemnts from back then visually as you write now why does THIS feeeel this very different.....

It's a beautiful mix of pain and Khushi together ekdum see......

Even now the way it's just feeeling thus ajeeb...!

Ekdum se!!!!!!!!

Moments!!!!

 All through that one hour his mom a zillion times asks him call didi but he instead just sticks with no shriya!!!!

And then egts back with the conversation that one time when she heads to the trial room to try some outfits manager comes over and that very expected question just cause his name is Chetan you leave everything else and sit here.....cause you just didn't move even for a bit even left the fabric order pending cause the guy then was calling the manager for the same ignoring the texts then calls from the stylist asking bout the outfit fittings like everything else on one side and that time with Chetan was most important.....like for no reason how you loved loooooved saying no Chetan this listen Chetan areee tu tho sunleee kinda lilst of moments.....also thus one feeel today too many kittus and Chetans i say Aaj kal but that one ONE!!!!!!!

how only why only I say!!!!!!!

There was that mix of living the beauty of just hearing you say his name out loud or to just live those list moments of this Chetan that was making you relive that ONE !!!!!!!

said it before can say it over a godziluon times more there is no kid on the face of this planet that could possible be more adooooooooooooooooooirable than Him i say!!!!!!!!!

He is another level adooooooorableness i say his voice when he screams the waaaay it gets more childlike squeaky also was something you looooved and looked forward to!!!!!!

The waaaaay that one hour almost did bring back a zillion and more Him being that adoooooooorable kid memories of his!!!!!!

Even writing it now this one feeeel the waaaays you kiss him again autocorrect at it again when you write miss him and it goes kiss him!!!!!!if only!!!!!!!!!!

Navy!!!!

 Sooooo yahhhh!!!!!

Back to the day today there was a rushed appointment cause she had a flight tonight!!!!

U were on the fone discussing bout the metres andbstuff for fabric confirmation and you see this lil kid in all navy hands un pocket stops at the entrance and waits asking you if the shoes have to be removed and you just nod a yes still on the call but lost by then...

Watch him walk in then his mom comes along with husband.....ache se goes straight to the sofa and you walk towards asking what his name was and thatvone sound of his name am Chetan.....

Wooooooosh bolke that very sex9nd that one stronnnnnng rush of him!!!!!

The way it takes you back to that very moment he introduced himself still working on some equipment and you fataaak se get all excited asking are you a gujju cause it's a very common gujju nake and the waaay he adoooooorably chuckles in that moment away look at you all that happy just see your face and adds no am a Rajput!!!!

This one today smiles and as he tries to climb over the sofa you lift him and make him comfortable as the manager attends his mom....His same navy blue shirt with navy pants and as he tries to move to the side to get something from hus pocket you notice the 86 pn the side...

There was it your very own Him moment of magic and how!!!!!!!! HOW!!!!!!!!

seeing that very visual the way all those tree dreams that you don't want to elaborate on writing bout rush through you....it was the same age of the kid almost you get off and head to the office get His fav orange candy that you mostly carry in your bag....

Soon as you give this one the way his mom sounds all happy saying of all the chocolates I get for him rhats his most fav one 

And that one feeeeeel obviously no had to!!!!!

The way soon after you give him the candy all that one hour almost he had his one lil hand over you talking bout his trip here his friends and family like he goes on and on over as you on a chat meet finalizing the list of fabrics to order....

And when you don't respond for a second the way he tries to move your face to his just so you stop and listen to him ....all that while charlie there was his music playing in one ear the second he tries to pull your face towards him that very second thatone SOLID rush of all those times He did the very same thing the way waaaaaaay he used to take your face in his hands andbjust look at you for a bit before a moennt always.....or when you are watching something talking bout something else and he just had to see your face ekdum se he would just pull it tiwards him just watch you and then get back with the conversation!!!!!

Agaaaaaaain SOMETHUNGS you write and relive as you write now!!!!!!!!!

To dream...

 Never did you ever think dreams would become this most essential part of your life that yóu can't do without!!!!!

It's like soon as you are home after changing dinner and stuff this hour by your self surfing through series or movies sometimes book or music with low light on is like your most loved hours before falling asleep.....almost like prepping up for sleep kinda thing...

There's this wait this excitement this looking forward to Fallin asleep with that strong sense of wait to see him feel him live him feel his presence with and close to you to touch him to just live his presence charlie.....

You know all that while it's still a dream but when yourve literally spent years missing that one face that one presence like no other only you know what it means to you!!

That very second when you feel his presence or even his scent that very first initial sigh of a feeeling finally here he comes......

The character Nemo waiting to fall asleep finding flip when in search of somebody else you would rather skip bout!!

All that while it was the same flip like all she had to do was to find that lock to unlock the actual flip in real life...... it was a twisted one but a beautiful one!!!!!

To set that wild side of hers and flips free to finally be able to live that connection for real after everything they go through...

It had way too many feeels like that same vibe of wandering through big cement structure that you do in your dreams exact same visual to finding some corner or the other flip by her side......

This thing bout him and love charlie it's that feeeeel of having found too many most important people of your life in one he loved you in more ways than one.....is why there is this missing this longing of the different hims his versions on different days....like one day it's that beauuuuuutiful sexy rush of missing him as your love somedays it's your crazy best friend that you miss on some that need to be protected someone that protects you is beside you on some it's the dad him that you miss some it's the adoooooooooooiirable kid of yours that you miss!!!!!!

Suddenly this feeeeeel now writing it out!!!!!!!!

Visuals!!!!

 First rewinding back to this one movie that you loved recently!!!!

Slumberland for more reasons than one first and foremost being her wanderings soon as she shuts her eyes...

Secondly through the movie there's this one scene when flip and her and laying beside each other and that very moemnt flip lays his one leg over her and finds that comfortable and says awesome.....

Back then at his dd home same ditto very moemnt watching some movie with that starnge feel of holding back from holding him touching him or anything cause thevway he was that distant even laying beside you like over the tummy kinda lay and you keep looking at him beech beech mein cause mainly your only point of interest was him movie not even for a second or a single visual to think of it now his too.....

The way after a few beech beech ke stares of yours that one time you again look at him and the waaaaaaay he smiiiiles that one smile knowing exactly what was on your mind but he also had to pretend being the tough strict guy not being lovey dovey at all and yet gets what you were feeeeling or missing rather....the way he immediately comes closer lays his one leg over your ass moves it a lil just like he used to back then when on your lap this time it was your ass trying to find that comfort spot and then humma perfect sound of his after finding the right spot.....and that one stare back again in a way asking checking if you were happy now you ofcourse were happiest like he was that sure of that even doing that bit would make you that happy.....

Somethimgs you watch and that same feeeeel of a moment but the very same thing when you relive it by the seconds and write now this feeeeeeeel this rushhhh of missssing it overloads you with dhadaaaam see!!!!!!!!

86 Navy…!

 Just one of those days today it’s like lilst of moments to the epic moment of the day today when the mini Chetan walks into the studio all navy!!!!!!!!

Mind heart and soul just that happy today!!!!!!

Something’s you just donnoooo out of nowhere can give you that much happiness…..

It was almost like one of those tree dreams of yours almost in the waking version…

That mini Chetan dressed in all navy from the navy blue lil shirt to the navy pants and that biggest moment of magic being the pants had the number 86 written on the side…

That one moemnt you on the fone with the fabric guy and see that Chetan walkin with that swag and smile hands in pocket hang up the fone the very first question had to be what’s your name and the moment he says Am Chetan that one sound of Him rushes through you!!!!!!!

She definitely did become one of your most fav clients fataaaak se!!!!!!

Come back home and immediately change into your fav navy 86 jumper cause it’s his navy that says 1986 and sole reason you got it even being 3 sizes bigger almost as it was the last one on rack!

Howleeeeeeeeeeeeeeee if only you knew how awwwwwwwwwwwwwfully bad you were missed today!!!!!!

Save tho bantaaa bosss!!!!!!

Trashup!!!!

 That one hour in the mornings especially on a Sunday and that one rushhhhhhhhh it leaves you with!!!!!

Like through the moments yesterday no matter where you are mind this beauuutifully cloudy……it’s the waaaay he comes charlie the waaaaaaays he comes!!!!!!!! Sometimes just a whisper or just that scent of his like you just know he is here now bolke……and most of the times like yesterdays morning it’s the way waaaaaaaaaay he holds you away like he is in a rush to!!!!!!like he used to!!!!!!!

It just felt weird by the end of the day again like recent sundays just the block hurts a lil more than the normal days again donno why or how just does!!!!!

To this one movie moments coming soon for now mind still lost high and mid workout through weights you realise woooh trashy choice of tracks somehow Nikal he ata nai…..back then it was Himesh now it’s these awesome beat rap songs it’s only when you check the video later you were that bad trippin over it through the set that it practically made you do more….

That sense of self back then working out with him and that love for Himesh and now decades later it’s this recent love for trashiest awesome sounding tracks with weights!!!

To finding this beauty of a sound later again alllllll his vibes that slows your mind this beauuuutifullu!!

He is that sexy lil big gorgeous psy beedi in human form I say!!

Waking up…!

 When you wake up from a MOMENTTTTTTTTT like that one!!!!!!!!!

It’s this oneeeeeeee state of mind it’s left you with!!!!!!!

Akele akele this one blush mode on and HOW!!!!!!!

Again one of those things when you live a moment moments that you don’t think or relive try not to and then he comes like thiiiiiiiiis ayyyaaaaaaaaaa this one rushhhhhhhhhhh it’s left you with!!!!!!!!!

Sooooo highhhhhh soooooooo highhhhhhh ayeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!

How do you even tame a state of mind like this one I say!!!!!!

Miyaaaaaaaaa how nowwwwwww if you onlyyyyyy had the slightest tiniest idea I say!!!!!!

Workout done with an extra set today cause sooooo highhhh ohhh sooooo highhhhh!!!!!!!!

This is one ironically beauuuuuutiful dilemmic state of something!!!!!!!

Sooooo highhhhhh!!!!!!!

Misseeeing...

 It's been days since this strong jatka of missing has bit you that's also there when autocorrect understands you more than your actual word.....instead of hit you writes as bit you!!!! Whatte only!!!!!

Soooo yaaaah ever since this has whatever you this one wait to find her fone and off late he hasn't been storying lately it's that need to fill up the missing with something him......

Strange nai are the ways weird àre the ways of the heart i say....apna alag hi logic leke chalte nai hearts i say!!!!!

They don't go by logics and reality, their mind of their own their world of their own i say......and all it needs is that whiff of feel and off it goes flight of its own!!!!!

Mornings!!!!

 Sooooooo yeah right from that start of the day today to that momeny of living that skype moment during your stretch today...it's like that one moemnt did bring along all those moments with that sound that loooooooved living him with on Skype calls....

Again his way of saving moments of adding a song to the moments or some background sound just so you can capture the essence of that specific moment alongnwith the track...

And the waaaaays you stay away from listening to this one cause the waaaaaaaaaaaaaays it brings him along is beyond words and feels.....

The mind today be it at work or out buying groceries and fruits the mind was on this beautiful him high.....his details his moves him mov8ng to the possible sighting of a cockroach around him and the way he takes his legs up and then looks at you with that adooooooorable kid face that literallllly made you jump right into the screen to be with him right then and there and this you did tell him too......again something's you don't wanna write cause of the way it can make you feel...

This feeeel of just realising it all did happen a day or two back whilst watching Elvis and then finding that track the words the feel of the track tears after years...

It just made you feel his absence realise bout his absence in a way that you refrain from thinking bout.....

Sooooo yaaaah 

Done with the day step out of the lift andbthat one sound areee kitttuuuuuuuuuuu and you scream along with shreyansh today I know reee yeee kitttuuuuuuuuuuu.....and the way that kitttu actually comes running towards you and holds you and hides behind you just like that big adooooooorable kittu used to......

Like you were again standing there zoned out completely cause that moment was totally unexpected....

U just wanted to say his name out loud for once and the second you do that one feeeeeel charlie it just felt tooooo toooooo goooood...

To just say his name out loud!!!!!!!

Days!!!!!!

 Right from the start today be it that feeeeeel of being held away after decades to that whisper of his voice wanting to see how you slept...

Him back then late night chill this same time around you didn't have a single jacket back then so you used to take out as many sheets as possible out in the balcony sit tucked away over chair and stay on fone with him till the golden hours of the morning.....

Some call he almost alseep mentions bout how suddenly he wanted to see you sleep how you looked sleeping and your bed...cause you were almost sleep and he sensed it over the call.....

The very next day drops by with his sister and soon as he enters her sister talking bout pillows and stuff and him in ishaara asking you where your side was and you go to that side and sit over it and the way he fataaak se comes over moves you away and dhadaam se that beauuuuuutifully lays over that side.....tu do do pillow use karti takes both keeps it under his head and thatone look that one smiiiiiile and that one of the most beauuuuuuuutiful conversations you shared with him right there amidst everyone and yet not a single word spoken out loud...

He looked that happy charlie just the waaaay he spreads his arms out head over your pillow and that one face shoudkve seen cahrloe that one face in that moennt!!!!!!

Ayyyyaaaaaaaaaaa reliving it now as you write meraaaaa pooooooora ka poooooora heart and life right there!!!!!!!!!

Howleeeeeeeeeeee baaaaahhhhhhh how only you wrr3 missed abiiiii k abiiiiiii if only you knew miyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!

Geeeelisest chummi lag jaaaana hawa mein usku with that feeeeel inneeee yaad Kari pakkaa bolke!!!!!!!

Days!!!!!

 All these days tackling some stylist issue a major one this time where she takes 9 outfits promising 9 different looks with some photographer from Bombay like the second again she mentions Bombay and you say a yes.....didn't have a very good working experience pehle bhi and ur manager also insists on skipping it but again I swear charlie some words sounds hit your ears and the way you lose sense of spaces people around cause it just transforms you away like ekdum seee.....and from a formal tone you suddenly zone out and say quite a few yes's away and eventually say a yes to the Collab as well....

Final outcome gets the worst possible shots with some other guy instead of the one she was talking and vouching for...

Then to tackle that to get back the outfits has been hetic to deal with to say the least.....it's all this happening with you over the call with her assistant and he apologising for the same and suddenly the opposite bungalow you hear a familiar sound put the fone away and off your ears and go closer kyu chalti hai Pawan kyu hota hai pyaaaar...

The sound of his lucky Ali and yet again gone you were...hangup and just stay that way leave a text asking your outfits back and just ending it right there!!

It just does something to you anything him like all that back and forth of calls missed calls messages apologises and stuff her promising another gig with the same outfits and you instead just let it be.....

It sort of just like that clears everything away just that something anything of him....even when stressed over something bad day bad moemnt some argument discussion with mom anything at all something him and the waaaaaay you feeeeel him that very moemnt that strongly...

Again times when that vibe of him takes over you and everything around and inside you diminishing the reality away and making it away all Him and how!!!!!

Way of love...

 The only thing everytime she mentions bout you spending on yourself that one strongest of feeel it all happened at the wrong time if only you were all this self made independent few years back things would've definitely been a lot different.....it's that feeeeel every single time you passby jack n Jones on ur way to tonique and not miss out loolking at it even for a second cause it brings back that before and after feeel and how.....

Cause there never has ever EVER been that moemnt in your life like back then at Jones with him that you wished you had money you were independent and earning well to buy every possible shirt there for him or atleast those 4 that he did try on amd looked that good on him....and the way he adds with that tone of voice someday you will....

Some wishes nai you just can't help it no matter what!!!!!

To these moments of randomness where some sound switch suddenly at concu and they play Teri aye his song and that feeeeeeeeel door ho ke bhi paas hai mere...

To this very moment yesterday on your way to the studio and suddenly Venky hits the brake hard look up and there was a negro crossing by yelling at Venky something all you could see was her t shirt that said my boyfriend's gift or something and her hair all hippy braided and the way she stops by to your side of the window qnd just stares back at you smiles away waving back at you cause all that while her t shirt had the biggest smile on your face cause the complete moment screamed the lines off your most loved t shirt my boyfriend is a hippie and he adores me...

Venky commenting over how suddenly from screaming at Venky something was smik8ng at you and waving back at you.....you still lostin the moennt cause it suddenly takes you back to that moment of walking around with him in some mall passing by these Levi's t shirts and he just stops and stands close to the t shirt smillllllleeeeeeeeeees that one smile that wooooooooooooooosh bolke used to melt you away like ekdum seeee something in you used to shift charlie like suddenly something that big changed moved you in ways you didn't understand to just live him with that sparkle in his eyes that one smileeeeeee of his showing you what's written over it and you ask him but you are not hippie no and that one sudden switch of smile of a kid upto somethunf cause backnthen you didn't know he was one.....

Gets the t shirt for you and you tell him it won't fit y9u size wise and that one look at you and smiiiiiles again and says it will fit perfectly...

Go back home try it on first thing and it was the exact fit charlie like that perfect.....seconds later prolly he calls you and first thing he asks is it was na perfect fit like that was the second you were trying it on like he was that sure if things bout you knowing you the way nobody ever had or could....

words & conversations!!

 It's this beauty of some conversations charlie even when she was talking bout how you used to be and what you are now it just made you that happy....to just live that feeeeeling even whilst capturing that moemnt that feeel away of just knowing how much him you did become...

Everything that she was mentioning bout be it you not spending on your own self and instead getting that for her or you sitting that way or you then next moemnt listening to the eye doctor crossing your one leg like him and standing that way to just the way you are now generally that one him did transform you away and how.....

To just seeing the jeans in the picture you wear it that way everyday but the sudden vibe of some moment the way it takes you back to him pulling you closer then pulling your leg closer showing the fold asking you how much dust you were carrying to that moemnt when he screams that adoooooorably alter karana nai hota instead of roaming around that messy way.....

With time now it somehow did become your way of having that moemnt with you his sound his that one adooooooorable scream tone at you correcting your nonsense away and HOW!!!!!!!

The way that one moment captured sort of zoned you out completely where your mom trying out frames and you were just smiling away at all of them cause you all of you that beauuuutifully transpirted away to everything him......

It just feeeeels this different charlie when some moemnt hits you like that out of nowhere like suddenly you miss him that baaaaad like that bad need to hold him away run away to him chummi him away even worse eat him away that very moemnt when a missing like that one strikes specially in public spaces out of nowhere!!!

The sound...

 Also one of the things that's become prolly closest to you after him, music that makes you feel live him away.....

Even in this moemnt as you write out not sure if to vibe away with the him high that it's making you feeeel away or get back to writing!!!!!!!

Some sounds and this beauty sheer beauty of writing him reliving nuances of him to some sounds like these just feeeeels this very different!!!¡!!

It's this moooooooood it lands you in like mind suddenly starts to seee only the moemnts you want to relive like suddenly the now the reality space around you this beautifully starts to transform away into that very space very moment you are living and writing out.....

Just like that, woooosh magic i say...!

Becoming Love…2

 Hang up the call and ask her what she was talking bout and the way she says firstly the way you stand now or even sit like you were in that moment is so guy like to the footwear a size bigger plus that masculine and flat sandals….it was sliders basically the most comfortable pair of footwear ever to be made!!!!!

Her talking bout how you loved wearing heels all time and now not even for once does she ever see you dressed up or in heels…..

That very moment you save the moment away cause you were again that beauuuuuutifully filled away with al things him…

Firstly the way you were sitting again his way that you used to copy with and before him when sitting in some public spaces like you would imitate the way he sat or moved including his back stretch moves….to the jeans folded away bringing back that adooooooooorable moemnt with him at his Dd home to the sandals cause he didn’t like you in heels and wanted you to wear something you were comfortable in not caring bout how it looked….cause there have been times tiiimes that you tripped over stairs sometimes and more times on a flat base of ground….it was like as the time years went by lil by lil more of becoming Him…be it standing be it sitting be it the lilst of things that feel more like him did become you eventually…

Maybe this is what they call as becoming someone you live and love more importantly unintentionally subconsciously…!

Becoming Love…

 This one lil conversation today of the manager with the stylist commenting over some book logic about turning into someone more like someone you grow and live with as the time goes by……

This very thing or logic you experience when out with mom on her birthday…from the things you wanted to gift this one was what she wanted the most but not like this!!!

Again his way of love of going to that extent of loving someone where he would always check the price on a shirt but never on something anything he wanted to buy for you….this one time a kurti at lifestyle store he just picks it up and asks you to try it on on the way to the trial room you check the price it was a navy blue one priced at 1300 which back then was a big big deal for a kurti and you come back telling him the same how expensive it was and all and he still pushes you back to the trial room literally holding your hand asking you to try it on saying that will look beautiful on you….the very same him some shirt you really liked and wanted him to try it on checks the price tag and puts it back saying it’s too expensive it was almost the same price…..discussions follows over how he never spent on himself and you really wish you had that kinda money on you to buy that for him and the way he adds someday you will for sure…….

That day at the designer eye wear store looking for designer spectacles for your mom that very moment that very feeeeling the waaaaay it just sways you off n away!!!!!!

Ask the store guy to show the ones in black or brown tones as they finalise the ones from Gucci and tomford you were on a call with manager for some urgent work and your mom comments on your footwear….just that one word how much you’ve changed…

Hang up the call cause you somehow loved the sound of it….!

Magic…!

 Absolute moments of magic like these!!!!!

Right from the very start this very vibe of Him the day started off with…

Something’s nai lead to some thoughts only wondering wandering if only he has a even vaguely similar moment of something to do with you in his any day out of nowhere that somehow leads to any thought of you in any day of his!!

Wanderings of the mind I tell you!!!!!!

MOMENTS!!!!!!

 Still that state of mind to just hear him say the same thing to just feeel the same feeeeeeeeel of being held even writing it now this feeeeeeeel!!!!!! 

To workout done and just bout stretching legs face downwards and that very same second that visual of his from the Skype call cigarette in one hand blowing the smoke out that one look in his eyes and that slow in ishaara raising his eyebrows asking you what do you want!!!!!

It’s that one nod one stare that one face out of nowhere that exact same visual after years!!!!!!

Donno how donno why or what but the waaaaaaaaaaay it made you feee today SOMETHING ELSE!!!!!!!

It’s that feeel charlie living some feeel living some visual out of nowhere after a very very longest of times how or why you still donno!!!!!!

It’s already been one of those chip trippy mornings I say!!!!!

Whatta day already!!!!!

More of these happy high workouts wishes I say!!!!!

Moments!!!!!

 Lot to write bout last few days and moments but for now THIS one strongeeeeest of moments during your stretch post work out!!!!!!!

It’s this very thing charlie THIS very thing that sort of keeps the belief going stronger finding him in moments like these and who bhi aisa waisa nai THIS strongly!!!!!!!!

Howleeeeeeeeeee you gorgeouuuuuuussssssss GORGEOUS lil big sexy adooooooorable thing how only you were missed aaj bhi!!!!!!!

When you wake up this beauuuuutifully high on him with just that word whisper of his saying the very exact ditto same words that he did back then coming slowly close to you and the waaaay he says I just wanted to see how you sleep!!!!!!

And the waaaaay that beauuuuuutifully holds you away it was first that feeeeeel of fiiiiiiiiiinally him when you feeel smell his presence away that close to your ear to the feeeel of his sound of his same words from back then it just woooooooosh bolkeeee filled you away with something just beyond words and logics!!!!!

The morning face THAT high on him before workout!!!!!!

Sound of music...

 And some sounds!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just like that!!!!!!!!!!

From a masterpiece of a film to the sound and to this now this one feeeeeel of some sounds!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Days like these!!!!!

 It was moms birthday yesterday like even that somehow felt secondary cause you were sooooo caught in that vibe of the whole thing!!!!!!

Once she was back like you just didn’t want em to leave it just felt different…..like that one sound of his name kittuuuuuuuuu and every lil cell in you feeling that rush away of that ONE kittuuuuuuuu ayyyyaaaaaaaaaaaaa that one kittttuuuuuuuuu kutieeeeeeeeee krishnamooorthy I say!!!!!!!

Also yesterday with that beautiful start also did give you that work high to just live that feeeling of people knowing your brand was something else!!!!!

For now workout done still living that kitttttu high mind is just happy for many reasons charlie that sense of finding something that sense of feeling him after days also makes you realise how bad you miss him!!!!!

It’s the glow of something it leaves you with that evidently shows on your face like you can defiiiiinitely see the before and after Linda difference!!!!!!!

Howleeeeeee you gorgeous lil big adooooooorablr kitttuuuuu how only you are missed I swear if only you knew!!!!!!!!

Morning sounds!!!!!!

 When you feeeeeel his presence after almost 3 days which was the longggggest ever that you went a day without feeling his presence…..like not a single dream all these days and when you feel him like this his whispers that tone of his voice again that saaaaame beauuuutoful feeeeel of a dilemma to just be happppppy now that he was finally here or to just go by what and how he sounded like it was a disturbed sound of whisper restlessness somehow just the way he sounded like just the waaaay his presence had that kinda vibe like he was troubled over something the waaaaay he was trying to get close over your shoulder finding that comfort spot the saaame way like he used to whispering something away that you couldn’t make sense of but that one feeeeeeel finallllu as you just hold his head and pull him a lil closer the waaaay he makes that same sound and then prolly was asleep…..like there was that all of you wanting to just turn and hold all of him away chummi him away cause it had been that long then there was that thing like always to just go by with how he wanted to be felt and held…

So you just stay that way also knowing you move and that moemnt too would be gone!!!!!!!

It was that feeeeeeeel charlie of reliving that same moment decades later even be it in the dream…yesterday too there was that beauuuutoful start to the day missing him not finding in the dream and waking up to the sound of kittuuuu in your house!!!!!!

Neighbour leaves her son and his friend at your place for a bit as she had to rush somewhere……

Beauty of some visuals being her sons name was shreyansh and the friends name kittuuu……but they call me shrey or Shreya for some reason…….

No Shreya no kittuuuuu like the whole of one hour you just don’t move away from the couch….watching them play watching them fight argue and strangely wanting them to argue cause they kept repeating the names amongst each other….just the sound charlie Shreya kittuuu them repeating and that one khushhiiiiiiiii like you skip work calls work out like everything else didn’t matter…

Some moments nai charlie have that beyond words kinda feeeeeel just the waaaaays they can make you feel is beyond everything else!!!!!!!

Why!!!!!!!

 On sundays somehow the block hits on you a compleyelyyyyy vereee level only somehow!!!!!!

Of all the days of the weeks of the months of the years why does it feeeel different on a Sunday only to digest I say!!!!!!

Like you are sitting here trying to act like you are listening to her speak mindlessly aimlessly about some movie that was just that more difficult to sit through and now hear to the same with a backstory and of all the things your mind is playing this one song on loop with this one word on loop with it ….. WHY!!!!!!!!!!!

No sighting!!!!

 Isn’t this weird how even in sleep there’s this wait to see him feel him his presence somehow and the way it makes you restless like you keep changing sides left to right right to left maybe this side he will be here okay not working let’s change side maybe this side and goes the nite with no sighting of him in any way smell form or touch!!!!!!

It’s a bleh morning waking up today!!!!!

And that very clearly showed in the workout til that moment when you find this delicious beauuuuuty of a sound……and the way it takes you back to that very moment of living him that beauuuuty of him amidst the smoke in Versova meet…it’s that feeeeel charlie first hit of his psy beedi mind wooooosh bolke after long and the first thing you see live soon as you open your eyes after feeling that hit is him right there that close to your face as you move back slow to live that beauuuty of that visual of watching him amidst that smoke……

Heart kidney liver to every lil to big organ of yours right there!!!!!!!!!!

In that one visual one face I say!!!!!!!

Reliving some moments as you write out this one rushhhhhhhhhhhhhhh it loads you up with is beyond everything else I say!!!!!!!!

Workout done but this mind when you miss out on a morning bhi feels ajeeeb now!!

Chip Trippy!!!!!

 It’s beeeeeeen one chipppy trippy high already with the waking up!!!!!!!

Be it the last nights moemnt in deep sleep or this morning it’s absolute madness most beautiful form of madness if you think feeeeling him like living him like this in sleep and wake up it’s a contrast side of life ekdum seee!!!!!!

It’s that second of moment you wake up and there’s no him beside and it immmmediately makes you shut your eye and go back to sleep for a moment!!!!!

It’s that feeel charlie naaah I don’t belong here let’s get back to where we were at!

But then eventually have to wake up and deal with the reality…

Step out of the room and your mom had ordered some outfit for you and it was a white suit with blue birds all over it…..

If you don’t call this a sign a connection beyond dreams donno what else would be!!!!!

It’s the waaaaays somethings can dhadaaam se make you feeeel fill you up with those magic like vibes like suddenly in your mind you are again back in the flight mode just just happy……

Cause firstly the day started with you living his nose twitch expression after years even if be it in the dream the way first thing you see as you change side is that face of his and the waaaaaaaaay he brings his face closer with that very same expression what followed after and you pause with word after word cause again things and the way they can make you feeel is !!!!!!!!!!!!

There’s no high I say as beauuuuuuuuuutiful as this one that you are feeeelin right now !!!!!!!!!!

Miyaaaaaaaaaa you were missed beyooooooond levels of imagination I say!!!!!!!!!

Said it before will say it again if there’s any magic for real abiiiii k abiiiiii bas feeeeel hona uskuuu something atleast!!!!!!

For now workout done with a very happy mind and more importantly a very happy face for reasons loooooooved!!!!!!!

Absolute madness no how and what some moments can make you feeel like even be it living that one face in the dream bhi…….!

Sounds...

 Even récalling it now howwww dumb can you possibly get!!!!!

There was a Live running jumping veryson of him coming towards you but of all the things you had to check on the fone and wonder why you couldn't see his dp nai!!!!!!

Back to the start of the day today be it the feeeeel of the words feeeel of the visual to just live him his presence charlie ayyaaaaa heart mind soul goes to another level only I say!!!!!

Kyaaaaa ho jata kiii yeee kaisaaaa fiiting kiye right from the start of him from that very second up above wonder what you did!!!!!!!

Mind on a constant flight mode mom notices change on your face manager staff even Venky that rarely talks comments on how happy you suddenly looked like you do your best always when feeeeeling all this away to hold back the emotions happiness sudden rush rushing through you like do your best ultimate best bit it's always been this way with things to do with him like your face has it all written all over it !!!!!!!!!

It just transforms you away and how!!!!!!

At work where your mom comes along to the studio getting work done sorting final designs out and right in the middle of some designs discussion with serious discussion this one sound Maine Kiya hai tumse pyaar and that one dhadaaaaaaam sa rush like literaaallky on that level and lavanya comments seeee your face just see that face and it was your moms fone and she increases the volume must be some story or something she was watching but that whole vibe of that moment like you just couldn't say a word more to the other side when your mom suddenly stops it noticing it did disturb the discussion and you ask her to let it play ajd get off and away in the balcony.....

There was no further discussion everybody backnto their work no questions asked.....

That neeeeed that just that something to be away from it all and feeel closer to him in that very moment evry single time you feel him out of nowhere like this.....

It was pure magic charlie!!!!!!

Mind you it's this hiiigh of him like you can't write out in words or express it out....

To this moment when you find this amazzzzing artist and that very first thought he would've loved it...cause it sounded that familiar to his Tama Mali track from years back!!!!!

Something's you just can't add logic you just have to feeeel it.....

Even writing and reliving it now this feeeeeel of these moments how what why you still donnoo but just this feeeel of him that it's left you with.......

Words!!!!

That one dream that one moennt moemnts and the feeeeeeels it filled you with was beyond everything else .....

There was this logic of the today's reality that sort of did disappear vanish away with that one moment lived with him there relived with him in that very same place...in that same way!!!!!!

The waaaay his face looked in that moment exaaaaactly how he used to relive moments of you with you with that silence before sharing it with you.....like you can definitely make out by his face that he was thinking feeeling something before saying it out....like he needed that moemnt to feeel the moemnt on his own and then share it with you kinda vibe all over his face.....

Exact same thing in this moment too the waaaaaay he just looked charlie like with that birthday picture of his it literaaaaaly gave life to your waking dream lived back in the salon when you missed him that bad and felt lunatic almost and then this very moemnt at the stadium.....

seeing him in that Black t high collar one somehow felt beautiful one most important reason being how beauuuuuuuutifully sexy he looked in it and secondly the way it somehow made you feel less crazy like that moment lived somehow made sense even writing it now sounds crazy but it just felt different.....

Sooooo yaaaaah!!!!!!

This morning one....

It was different not sure cause you had it on your mind since the onset of your magical October...

It was a rooftop thing like sleeping on the terrace kinda vision open your eyes and feel the chill in the air and door se hopping over one from terrace of the house to the other you see him running jumping making his way towards you.....again the face from the today that one khushiiiiii the second you see him one terrace closer one more terrace closer almost there almost there and in that very moment one epic dumb Blonde thing you do is to check your fone knowing now that he is jumping towards you he for sure must have unblocked you on WhatsApp too couldn't his picture see the status with some yours I am is yours something like that now that you can't recall but the bold words being yours in the status......

That one khushiiiiii with that question ask him still looking at the fone but why can't I see your dp beyyy and look up and you wake up......

Exaaaaactly why you hold back from making sudden moves even if knowing he is that close to your face like you can see him from that up close but that one fear you move you scream out of Khushi anything you do practically and he disappears.....

It's that beauuuty of some moemnts charlie like these two dreams just felt very different nothing like youd dreamt ever before donno why what or how but they just felt different...

It's that vibe of make belief believe again kinda feeeeeel it left you with, more importantly with that big beautiful hope it left you with...!

side by side...!

 Back to the morning day before!!!!!!

It's been feeling different lately like something just feeels different!!!!!

It's like the day feels ajeeb now it's a weird feeeeling through the day with the wait but soon as it's the shut eye moment the waaaaays he comes charlie it's like the day breaks it all and the night somehow ties it together makes it stronger makes this bond grow stronger with dream...

Reasons logics anything else just takes a backseat or no seat at all rather like all that matters is what and how he made you feel with his presence and that's all that stays with you for the next few days till the next dream till the next presence of his...

Day before this restlessness pehle tho couldn't sleep and somehow open your eyes and you are at his stadium place.....like the now one the way it's now and look around the way it's all like the way it's now and that rush that sense of his presence look to you side and there he was from the present too his daaaaadi him in his High collar black t looking his goooooorgeeeeoooouuuuussssss best the waaaay your heart literaaaaaly feels like it jumped out with that mersseee isee zyada fast beat nai hota that kinda solid rush just the waaaaay he looked in that moment as you stay tht way without blinking or taking your eyes off that beauuutiful shy hint of smile on his face with him still looking at the stadium and the waaaay he slowly whispers asking it's been years somethimgs can never change nai and looks at you that very moment the temple bells start to ring exact same moment the way they used to back then......slowly comes close and mein teri baat karu like all you c9uod feeeeel live looooooove was that one visual before you him that close to you in that very same place that you fell rose in love with him that very place that held you made you feel something made you realise it's always been him it HAD to be him......

Even before you could make sense of the moment the way he holds your hand and literally makes you run along with him over the steps to the car outside.....

Moment relived from back then.....it was like those moemnts relived that same rush relived like you were loving living the present face of his feeeling his daaadi hisbface away with that feeeeel of finally like even feeling his details his daaadi there was this feeeel rushing through you finalllllly to be able to touch him live his presence in that very same place as he keeps looking around over your shoulder keeping a check on just like he used to back then.......it's that soujd of sudden honk or something and you wake up!!!!!

It's that feeeeeeeel charlie soon as you wokeup like you met the today's him in that very same place like you felt lived touched loved the today's him lived that same moment standing beside him with that same ruuuushhhh of a finally!!!!!

Like more than the moemnts it wasvthat whole vibe of that moennt him saying somethimgs will never change it was him talking bout you lost in him just like you used to him talking bout the moemnt you shared......it was all very very different beauuuutifully different almost surreal!!!!!!

And yet felt that real!!!!!!!

Even writing it now exaaaaactly why you were holding back from writing that dream out!!!!!!

Agaaaain this very feeeeeeeling its making you feeeeel away and HOWWWWW!!!!!!!

Him Flight!!!!!

 Mind toniteeee littttterallly on a him flight mode it's this fliiiiigjt it's on!!!!!!!!

Ayyyaaaaaaaa haven't missed him like THIS in a loooong l9oooooongest of times i say!!!!!!!!!

Every lil inch of him hint of him flash of him and the waaaaaay it's rushing through you right now!!!!!!!!!

Thisssss very feeeeeeeling that makes you feeeeeel this alive like you can feeeel every cell in you just this rush of him and all it took was a visual a flash a sound of him and this you that it's left you with!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you only knewwww!!!!!!!!! Even slightest bhi!!!!!!!

It wouldn't have been this way!!!!!!!!!!!

Ayyyyaaaaaaaaaaa if only someayttt uskuuuuu feeeeel ho jaaanaaaaa baaas woooooosh bolkeeeeeeee abiiii k abiiiiiii ine yaaaad Kari bolkeee this very moment if there's some magic in the world it has to jasssssss to haapne Aaj thooo never missed him way before!!!!!!!!!!

Just haaappppaaayy!!!!!

 It’s just beeeen these two beauuuuuutiful days that has made your heart thiiis biiiig haaaappppaaaaayaaayyyyy I say!!!!!!

Is also when you re realise for the godzillionth time where your absolute real sense of happyyyaaayyyness stays I say!!!!!!!

Miyaaaaaaaa tummmmm yeeeeeeee yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee zoooooor shooooooor doooooooorseeeeeee yaaaad aaaaare aaj kal thooooooo howleeeeeeeee if you had the lilst idea I swear how much you are looooooved and missedddddddd!!!!!!!

When even gin tonight feeeels soooo low cauuuse you are nistttt that beaauuuuutifullllly happpaaayyyyaaaayyyy high on him!!!!!!’

Saving thoooo bantaaaa bosssss!!!!!!!

Some sounds and visuals and memories attached to the beat of the sounds!!!!!!

String of pearls one touch and howwwww it flowssaaa along!!!!!!

Way of love…

 Like he must have told you a zillion times how he already was in love with you even much before you knew it was love…..

And the waaaaaays he would just knoooooooowwwww charlie things without even saying a word……be it in moments like these or any other just by your eyes by your face like he would could just read your face that beauuuutifully!!!!!!! Not a word from you and yet he would just know it, how he did is something that still amazes you sometimes!!!!!!

Reliving some moments and the feeeeeels they can leave you with is something else!!!!!!!

Mornings n moments!!!!

 Day starts off with one moment that STRONG and you experience yet another one mid workout!!!!!!!

That one face in the world for you ayyyyyaaaaaaaaaaa HOW LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!

Mid workout place the face towel on the side handle right then and there that very second his face right next to you white t shirt of his hair that beauuuuutifully messy face with all sweat takes your bottle of water and has water from it this was as friends……stays there for a bit leans over the treadmill side of yours checks how long is left for you to finish the workout and you just couldn’t take your eyes off that one curl of hair poking his one eye cause that’s how beauuuuuuutiful he looked that one stare of his smiiiiiiles that smile of his and moves his that side of face closer to you and smiiiiles that one amworkingmymagiconyou smile of his and moves that curl off his face……..

Again a moment where without you having said a word just the way your eyes trace that one eye one curl of his and tries to move closer as if asking you to move it yourself off his face and smiiiiiles that smile away and moves it away on his own stays for a bit and gets back witb his arm set!!!!

The waaaaaaaay that moemnt lived with him made you feeeel was beyond words!!!!!!

No wonder years after the waaaaay it’s been this clear in your head the exact same moment same vibe that whole beauuuty of that moemnt!!!!!!

His face his that one smile from the moemnt him coming closer and the smile after!!!!!!!

Decade later placing the face towel this one feeeeeel of living that moment!!!!!!

These two mornings be it yesterday or today this one feeeeeeel they have left you with is pure magic…

Workout done mind this beauuuutifully lost in all him it’s just this beautifully blank suddenly!!!!!

Another realisation you are more consistent with workout when posting selfies strange no somehow!!!!!

Morning happppppy now this beautifully lost face of today!!!!!

Nothing no face in the world could make you feel all this way all at once I sayyy!!!!!!

Mornings!!!!!

 Mornings like these that just sweeeep swoooooop you off your feet and HOW!!!!!!

You just glow different somehow when you are loved and HOWWWW!!!!!!

As crazy as this sounds that one feeeeeeeel of being loved after decade even if be it in the dream bhi that one face in the world I say!!!!!!!!!!

Like it literallllly shows on your face today!!!!!!

A waking up like this and a very happy workout cause of the waking up today!!!!!

Miyaaaaaaaaaaaaaa tum aaaaaj bhoottttttttttttt zooooor zooooor shooooooooooooor se yaaad aaaaare!!!!!!!

Jaaaaniyaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaja teriii yaaaaadein menuuuu mariyaaaaaa yoooooo!!!!!!!

For now a very happy morning post workout selfie tho bantaaa now thooo one with the C tooo!!!!!!!