Chasing shadows!

 On some days suddenly that one hit or slam of something out of nowhere that makes you feel like you are chasing his shadow like literally chasing him!

It’s a weird feeling on some days charloe when the missing really goes from bad to worse and suddenly that feel of having felt this way for almost a lifetime like literally missed him his presence for a lifetime now and so it just goes year after year !

And there is that sound that one visual out of nowhere or some dream in which he is literally screaming out and telling you I’m not a dream I’m here for real touch n feel me and see I’m for real not just a dream so much so it shakes you up the way he was screaming bout trying to put some sense into you bout his actual presence and not to take it as a dream shakes you up wake up and gone he was again!!

To this constant wait now earlier it was his music channel to find something of him to fill up the absence with smthing of him now it’s his stories and your managers fone that you wait for!!!!!

It’s like there’s that most of you constantly wishing she doesn’t leave it before you and the second she does that rush to just live anything bout him for a bit….

Him growing handsommmmmmmmmmmestest I say!!!!!

Him like the clouds sea and the birds around him….

There’s this patch of wild trees growing with weeds all over like lush green weeds near your apartment close to the construction site and in the evenings there are these white cranes that sort of fly over and across these weeds it’s like lush green patch of almost jungle like liefld and then are these white cranes over slow flight over these weeds….visuals like these somehow make you feel smthing it’s that beautiful slow pace moment of peace that it transforms your mind in an instance it’s exactly what and how anything bout him makes you feel…it sets your mind you on a different level altogether like suddenly smthing just moves and off you are from everything else!!!!!

It’s that complete beautifully zoned out Him state of mind!!!!!