smthings nai actually only the things to do with him bad good worst or beautiful anything to evrything to do with him is smthing you can get or grow used to ...
and one of the yet another one of the most beautiful things now with his absence is this whole vibe of waking up like this.....
just this state of mind this beauuuuuutiful ease state of mind that it leaves you with !!
just his presence and the only thing on the planet i say that could possibly have this THIS imapct on you HIS presence......
be it those times of for real his presence for real or now his absence and yet real the sec you shut your eyes.... and then live his presence....
and the waking up to and with his smell touch or just that beauuuuuuuuuutiful ease it leaves and fills you up with.... like this state of mind right now with that beauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuty of him in white n blue bold checkered shirt with your most looooooved khaki pants on him him standing there waving at you showing you the rainbow as the big bright colored bold C all across the sky..... exactly what and how you felt it the day before when you see the rainbow across the sky for real.... cause rainbow too now is your C big beauuuuuuuuuuuuutiful bright hued C across the sky.....
and the sight of it - happiness to another level only i say...
its this thing charlie like you struggle to keep off writing now cause you knoooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwww the after of writing himd own cause it feels all wrong messed n fcked up now.....
like you can still have all of him rushing breathing liivng through you but when it comes writing him down and then to deal with the after of it is smthing you just cant donnooo how to deal with......
cause somehow every single time it only gets that much more beautifully worse the misseeeing the wanting to see him the need to jst live feel love life him for real.... like all of it only gets that beautifully worse !!!!!!!!
every single time after you write him out there is that initial calm and then calms the beautiful storm every single time......
and one of the yet another one of the most beautiful things now with his absence is this whole vibe of waking up like this.....
just this state of mind this beauuuuuutiful ease state of mind that it leaves you with !!
just his presence and the only thing on the planet i say that could possibly have this THIS imapct on you HIS presence......
be it those times of for real his presence for real or now his absence and yet real the sec you shut your eyes.... and then live his presence....
and the waking up to and with his smell touch or just that beauuuuuuuuuutiful ease it leaves and fills you up with.... like this state of mind right now with that beauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuty of him in white n blue bold checkered shirt with your most looooooved khaki pants on him him standing there waving at you showing you the rainbow as the big bright colored bold C all across the sky..... exactly what and how you felt it the day before when you see the rainbow across the sky for real.... cause rainbow too now is your C big beauuuuuuuuuuuuutiful bright hued C across the sky.....
and the sight of it - happiness to another level only i say...
its this thing charlie like you struggle to keep off writing now cause you knoooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwww the after of writing himd own cause it feels all wrong messed n fcked up now.....
like you can still have all of him rushing breathing liivng through you but when it comes writing him down and then to deal with the after of it is smthing you just cant donnooo how to deal with......
cause somehow every single time it only gets that much more beautifully worse the misseeeing the wanting to see him the need to jst live feel love life him for real.... like all of it only gets that beautifully worse !!!!!!!!
every single time after you write him out there is that initial calm and then calms the beautiful storm every single time......
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