on your way home and just at the start of your gate there was this beauty of a light missing like gone off and it made that one pitch of a placethat beuatifully dark and the way the lights on your window made that complete frame look that beauiful with trees hovering over and just when you stop the driver to take the pic and through your fone you realize it was almost the same visual from the dream this morning....
like that exact frame from the dream where you see him walking in the white shirt and khaki trousers with his and whennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn you suddenly realize how some visuals even reliving it now were almost setting your dream free too in words..............
sooooooooooooooooo yahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
exact same visual and you get off again and instead walk home as they leave with your mom still saying smthing bout you getting drenched in the rain again.....
but that neeeeeeed to just soak away today.....
maybe it was that feeel of the news still disturbing you bout the bad rains and flood situation in bombay and that feeeeeel of him and you couldnt do a thing bout it..... maybe it was your own way of smthing that you dont even know what it was bout.....
walk bac home to the sound of his music and soon as you reach home.....
much expected drama of you gettin drenched and by then sneezing too and your mom tries to dry you and makes you sit with her as she brushes your hair and detangles the knots away combing straight and that feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel of him again as you shut your eyes and struggle not to relive that moment and just be and that struggle the way you keep nodding away with eyes shut tryng to not relive him in that moment with that moment with him......
and that feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeling as if only his hands in yoru hair as he tries to tie a plat and then switches to tying pilkas and then looks at you chuckles awaaaaaaaaay adooooooooooooooorably watching you and that khushiii in him as today you struggle not o relive.....
and the sec you relive him from that moment making you smile and that feeeeling.....
some habits itttiii jaldi nai jaate after all....
reh rehke jaate but will def do your best to !!
to once done back to your room in yoru space up the volume of his music and head out to your place for a bit and back in as it gets more cold and your sneezes dont stop.....
and that one look in the mirror your hair that straight for the first tme in years lip color again that one thing he wanted you to that badly nude lip colors which only now you sort of love wearing like the only color or shade of lip color you reach out to the one that he that badly wanted you to try back then..... soooooooooo yahhhhh everything else still there kajal smudged away but that one change in you with straight hair like you see yourself that way after a very very long time....
and this one loud smthing from your mom saying karelaaa khaale karely..... and you literally run out asking her what she jus said.... and says cause she has been mad at you for getting drenched and all was covering up for it and you ask her again what did she call you and tells you that it was bout karela and wanted you to eat it and all and that one feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeling !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
maybe it was you like actually it was you.....
still that unsureness but that one feeeeeeeeeeeel of some sounds i swear.....
it just made you that happy for that sec.....
back to your room and save the day away.....
it was one day with too many moments of beuaty and those few moments of change trying to change...
hoping some day you do !!
got weirder !!!!!
only now you as you put up the pics do you realize you still had his face on !!!!!!!!!!
changing this too away next tme se pakka !!!!!!!!
the one expression your friend hates you putting up in pics or even as she tries to take a selfie or smthing but that one thing that very expression another one of your most looooooooooooooooved of his !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
his nose twitch face cause that was the very first expression that you made you want to live him for longer and like was the start of discovering that beuaty of living him and his beauuuuuuuuutiful details.....
that one expression of nose twitch the very start of that one beauuuuuuuuuuutiful journey of living him and his lilst of details...
like that exact frame from the dream where you see him walking in the white shirt and khaki trousers with his and whennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn you suddenly realize how some visuals even reliving it now were almost setting your dream free too in words..............
sooooooooooooooooo yahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
exact same visual and you get off again and instead walk home as they leave with your mom still saying smthing bout you getting drenched in the rain again.....
but that neeeeeeed to just soak away today.....
maybe it was that feeel of the news still disturbing you bout the bad rains and flood situation in bombay and that feeeeeel of him and you couldnt do a thing bout it..... maybe it was your own way of smthing that you dont even know what it was bout.....
walk bac home to the sound of his music and soon as you reach home.....
much expected drama of you gettin drenched and by then sneezing too and your mom tries to dry you and makes you sit with her as she brushes your hair and detangles the knots away combing straight and that feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel of him again as you shut your eyes and struggle not to relive that moment and just be and that struggle the way you keep nodding away with eyes shut tryng to not relive him in that moment with that moment with him......
and that feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeling as if only his hands in yoru hair as he tries to tie a plat and then switches to tying pilkas and then looks at you chuckles awaaaaaaaaay adooooooooooooooorably watching you and that khushiii in him as today you struggle not o relive.....
and the sec you relive him from that moment making you smile and that feeeeling.....
some habits itttiii jaldi nai jaate after all....
reh rehke jaate but will def do your best to !!
to once done back to your room in yoru space up the volume of his music and head out to your place for a bit and back in as it gets more cold and your sneezes dont stop.....
and that one look in the mirror your hair that straight for the first tme in years lip color again that one thing he wanted you to that badly nude lip colors which only now you sort of love wearing like the only color or shade of lip color you reach out to the one that he that badly wanted you to try back then..... soooooooooo yahhhhh everything else still there kajal smudged away but that one change in you with straight hair like you see yourself that way after a very very long time....
and this one loud smthing from your mom saying karelaaa khaale karely..... and you literally run out asking her what she jus said.... and says cause she has been mad at you for getting drenched and all was covering up for it and you ask her again what did she call you and tells you that it was bout karela and wanted you to eat it and all and that one feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeling !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
maybe it was you like actually it was you.....
still that unsureness but that one feeeeeeeeeeeel of some sounds i swear.....
it just made you that happy for that sec.....
back to your room and save the day away.....
it was one day with too many moments of beuaty and those few moments of change trying to change...
hoping some day you do !!
got weirder !!!!!
only now you as you put up the pics do you realize you still had his face on !!!!!!!!!!
changing this too away next tme se pakka !!!!!!!!
the one expression your friend hates you putting up in pics or even as she tries to take a selfie or smthing but that one thing that very expression another one of your most looooooooooooooooved of his !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
his nose twitch face cause that was the very first expression that you made you want to live him for longer and like was the start of discovering that beuaty of living him and his beauuuuuuuuutiful details.....
that one expression of nose twitch the very start of that one beauuuuuuuuuuutiful journey of living him and his lilst of details...
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