from that moment of waking up to trying struggling to get a hold on your mind from reliving that dream reliving that beauuuuuuuuuuuuty of his closeness.....
was a struggle !!!
like been years now since youve got used to waking up with his presence in his absence but ever since the last chat the way this waking up feels different..... years of absence but this change recently....
like you dont feel right after waking up from a dream of his cause it only makes you love him more makes you miss him more.... which all of that you need to get a control on....
and the waaaaaaaay it makes the day only that much more beautifully worse...
cause all you can think feel live is that beauty of his presence...
its that feeeeeling charlie soon after waking up to keep your eyes shut that way and just stay way just so you dont visually see the reality like you know still think it to be for real with eyes shut cause opening your eyes is literally feels literally like opening your eyes up now......
in the literal sense of the word !!
soooooooo yahh !!!!!!!
getting ready applying moisturizer and that feeeeel of his touch over your face holding your face liek that feeeeeel that touch of his stays hoepfully just for the day today.....
this level of madness when even as you write now this need to feel your own face !!!!!!!!!!
sooooooooooooo yahhhhhhhhhh !!!!!!!!!!
get ready and off to work and this one meet done and this bad jjam around gvk and just that need to be there....
ask the driver to take there instead.... the sec even before you get off open the door and just that lost looking at that ccd wala spot like that lost with his music still playing one ear plugged and the driver keeps asking you if you wanted to get off or go back cause there were cars behind too.... honking away....
and you get off and just stand there at that spot....
finally inside the mall and just walk around and this one smell right at the start of the fragrance section and that one pull....
go with the smell and there was this one female trying some fragrance on and that one spray again and that beauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuutifully familiar....
ask the guy which perfume that was and the sec the guy mentions the name you decide to buy that and get it home....
it was carolina hererra 212 rose....
an updated version of the same 212 one that you used to back then....
just today after that movie scene after those memory relives that one feeeeeeeeeeeel of waking upto his smell this morning like there was tht moment adding that extra bit of him....
rush to the washroom open it up and spray yourself away and that one feeeeel cause it almost smelled like the same previous one that you had then....
the way akele akele it makes you smile away recalling how even years after he knew which fragrance you used to back then or stil with him when you use the same parfume after a long back the waaaaaaaaay he smells it soon as you sit in the car and tells you that it was the same one that you used to back then.....
smell again just like words visuals and sounds.....
to sometimes when he would ask you to not use any fragrance just cause he wanted to smell you without any fragrance on !!!!!!!!!
where to where eeeeeeeeeeeeee !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
like if these moments werent enough soon home and you get off and ask the driver to take the bags home and instead walk back home....
and this one kid that has moved on the same floor of yours and every morning comes over to say a hi when you step out to take the newspaper....
watches you walking while cycling away and cycles with you....
keeps askign you smthing and you had his music playing..... kittu moved out of city and this new kid strangely reminds you of the actual kittu....
curly brown hair big big eyes but not as beauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuutiful as his.....
and when you dont listen to what the kid was talking the way just stops the cycle and holds your hand and bites your palm away.... and smiles looking at you and runs away leaving the cycle there....
and with you now all the more lost in Him !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
his most looooooooooooooved thing with you !!!!!!!!!
holding your hand when feeels toooooo mcuh waaaaaaay toooo much love for you would hold your hand and then look at you and smileeeeeeee the widest beauuuuuuuuuuuuutiful smile of his and by that you know now he is upto smthing for sure....
and jus bite awaaay your hand and then look at you and show you his teeth....
this again not just his but did become your another one of his most loooooooved things !!!!!!!!!!!
today years after you live that not actually that that kinda moment but i mean there was no way anybody else would and this kid out of nowhere why today had to you still have no idea....
like you dont even talk much with that kid except for those morning chatters of the kid as it talks bout if holiday or no holiday and how some teacher of his scolded him while eating inside the class or anything random at all like the kids talks and you just sit there on the floor reading the newspaper as he goes on....
like those are your only interactions with the kid almost every morning and today that one moment again why made no sense....
like in that moment that very sec its his face his teeth his smileeeee his touch is all you could live in that moemnt !!!!!!!
kid runs away and you jsut sit there for longer and just be with his music.....
some days like you just donnoooooooooooooo what or how !!!!!!!!!
but this wait hope some day it just gets better some day....
what and how you feel today or been feeling off late, some day it gets better...
and less hurtful !!
was a struggle !!!
like been years now since youve got used to waking up with his presence in his absence but ever since the last chat the way this waking up feels different..... years of absence but this change recently....
like you dont feel right after waking up from a dream of his cause it only makes you love him more makes you miss him more.... which all of that you need to get a control on....
and the waaaaaaaay it makes the day only that much more beautifully worse...
cause all you can think feel live is that beauty of his presence...
its that feeeeeling charlie soon after waking up to keep your eyes shut that way and just stay way just so you dont visually see the reality like you know still think it to be for real with eyes shut cause opening your eyes is literally feels literally like opening your eyes up now......
in the literal sense of the word !!
soooooooo yahh !!!!!!!
getting ready applying moisturizer and that feeeeel of his touch over your face holding your face liek that feeeeeel that touch of his stays hoepfully just for the day today.....
this level of madness when even as you write now this need to feel your own face !!!!!!!!!!
sooooooooooooo yahhhhhhhhhh !!!!!!!!!!
get ready and off to work and this one meet done and this bad jjam around gvk and just that need to be there....
ask the driver to take there instead.... the sec even before you get off open the door and just that lost looking at that ccd wala spot like that lost with his music still playing one ear plugged and the driver keeps asking you if you wanted to get off or go back cause there were cars behind too.... honking away....
and you get off and just stand there at that spot....
finally inside the mall and just walk around and this one smell right at the start of the fragrance section and that one pull....
go with the smell and there was this one female trying some fragrance on and that one spray again and that beauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuutifully familiar....
ask the guy which perfume that was and the sec the guy mentions the name you decide to buy that and get it home....
it was carolina hererra 212 rose....
an updated version of the same 212 one that you used to back then....
just today after that movie scene after those memory relives that one feeeeeeeeeeeel of waking upto his smell this morning like there was tht moment adding that extra bit of him....
rush to the washroom open it up and spray yourself away and that one feeeeel cause it almost smelled like the same previous one that you had then....
the way akele akele it makes you smile away recalling how even years after he knew which fragrance you used to back then or stil with him when you use the same parfume after a long back the waaaaaaaaay he smells it soon as you sit in the car and tells you that it was the same one that you used to back then.....
smell again just like words visuals and sounds.....
to sometimes when he would ask you to not use any fragrance just cause he wanted to smell you without any fragrance on !!!!!!!!!
where to where eeeeeeeeeeeeee !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
like if these moments werent enough soon home and you get off and ask the driver to take the bags home and instead walk back home....
and this one kid that has moved on the same floor of yours and every morning comes over to say a hi when you step out to take the newspaper....
watches you walking while cycling away and cycles with you....
keeps askign you smthing and you had his music playing..... kittu moved out of city and this new kid strangely reminds you of the actual kittu....
curly brown hair big big eyes but not as beauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuutiful as his.....
and when you dont listen to what the kid was talking the way just stops the cycle and holds your hand and bites your palm away.... and smiles looking at you and runs away leaving the cycle there....
and with you now all the more lost in Him !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
his most looooooooooooooved thing with you !!!!!!!!!
holding your hand when feeels toooooo mcuh waaaaaaay toooo much love for you would hold your hand and then look at you and smileeeeeeee the widest beauuuuuuuuuuuuutiful smile of his and by that you know now he is upto smthing for sure....
and jus bite awaaay your hand and then look at you and show you his teeth....
this again not just his but did become your another one of his most loooooooved things !!!!!!!!!!!
today years after you live that not actually that that kinda moment but i mean there was no way anybody else would and this kid out of nowhere why today had to you still have no idea....
like you dont even talk much with that kid except for those morning chatters of the kid as it talks bout if holiday or no holiday and how some teacher of his scolded him while eating inside the class or anything random at all like the kids talks and you just sit there on the floor reading the newspaper as he goes on....
like those are your only interactions with the kid almost every morning and today that one moment again why made no sense....
like in that moment that very sec its his face his teeth his smileeeee his touch is all you could live in that moemnt !!!!!!!
kid runs away and you jsut sit there for longer and just be with his music.....
some days like you just donnoooooooooooooo what or how !!!!!!!!!
but this wait hope some day it just gets better some day....
what and how you feel today or been feeling off late, some day it gets better...
and less hurtful !!
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