To just live!!!!

 There is the reality that you are struggling with like how do you even deal with it now!!!!!!

Aiming to get better at work every single day working hard towards it and in a way it's your way of not letting the reality take over you!!!!! To somehow stop those whispers of his chat!!!!!

It's def been a harsh slammed reality after all these years and something like that maybe takes time or does it ever get any better is all you hope with every passing day....maybe tomo it'll hurt less maybe tomo every passing day!

Day comes so does the night the way it just changes it all away just like that.....it's still sounding absolute madness charlie but really wish you could see him the way he is just there making you feel exactly what you miss bout him talking to you the very same things sometimes even talk bout your day to him in sleep now it's weird it's madness but it's beautiful cause evry morning almost you can still smell him his presence even after waking up...

Some quote on one of those pages you follow on Instagram that says it goes like if you live something strong believe in something strong and you bond with it it does come to life and dreams are a way of showing you how they are coming to life or something like that.....

You just don't get these things just don't understand how exactly when feeling him in a moment you see a random guy wear the exact same t shirt of his ur another most fav of his red n blue and walk across look at you like was making you live that moennt of him by literally looking you in the eye.....or with just a dream of his you wake up look outta the window and see sky full of his white birds that he used to call flying stars at night......

Or somewhere some lucky Ali song of his randomly plays at a store and some guy in white shoes with almost same jaali wala backpack of his with also the very same olive green khaki jacket of his stands right infront of you and turns around again looking in the eye....

U see such things in movies charlie signs everywhere directing and there is the you seeing these very things and yet somehow that bad directionless i say!!!!!!!

And this one sound lately every bit of him nothing else but just that beauuuuuuuuutifully everything HIM!!!!!!!!