Sunday 2 August 2020

Date - Rear view !!

some dates on the calendar !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

you may live a thousand and more dreams almost evry week now with a dream almost every day now that you wake up with a bit more of Him......

but theres comes that one date on the calendar and that changes it all away AGAIN !!!!!!

years and yet smthings nai charlie you can never get used to !!!!!!!!

no matter how many times youve felt the same way bout smthing or some date, the very same or maybe feeeel more now with each year....

30-31st july.....

flashes of some dates with memories.....

like you struggle to get over the vibes of the dreams last few days like its growing stronger smthing bout the way it feels more stronger and different withe each passing day now.....

and then comes a date with that same or maybe feel more with year......

30 th when you llive that side of him that he used to be back then with you before the bup..... the childlike side of his..... that you get to live after years online.....

when he suddenly turns that one adooooooooooorable robo cop wearing his most loved black raybans late in the nite almost mornin hours.....

and stays that way reassuring you that he will def meet for sure the next day.... cause you were that unsure bout it !!!!!!!!

to the next day actually meeting him and living that Him from back then...... in his psychedelic t shirt from gym days.....

its this feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeling now charlie with years like every year this one feeeeeeeeling of if you only knew you wouldve held him for a bit longer lived him for a bit longer like kaiseee bhiii kareee ziddd karkeee bhiii wouldve stayed for a bit longer loved him for a bit longer if you onlyyyyyyyyyyyyy knew it would like this after !!!!

lil did you know that day LIL DID YOU KNOW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this feeeeeeeeeeeeel to have held him hugged him chummied him touched him felt him lived him for a bit longer only if you knew...... this is what it would be like now !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

some dates you just cant like ignore let it be or just pass it by......

like they shake you up make you relive that saaaaaaaame feeel of that very specific date..... like flashes of him from that day him dancing away with you dropping you on the floor and then watchin you stay that way on the floor as you refuse to get up and then reaching out to hold you and repeating the same thing over n again...... the waaaaaaay he didnt want you to get up and just stay that wayyyy..... the waaaaaaaaaaaay he was living you in those moments those beauuuuuuuuuutifully slow moments......

like he was almost stretching the time the secs the mins away just so he could live you for longer.... like he already knew this is how it will be !!!!!!!!!!


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