The blues...

 nites and this state of mind some ornings can leave you with......

 that sudden need to head out for a walk and that beauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuty of somem moments everytime now you hear some dog howl.....

 back then over the fone with him and you hear some dog howl and tell him how it sort of scares you away and teh waaaaaaaaaay he that adooooooorably transformed the meaning of dog howls for you from that nite..... 

karelyyy it could be cold or just missing someone that he loves and howling away for it.... like am missing you now and does that sound and you actually howl back at him and the waaaaaaaaaaaaaay he adoooooooooorably says one more time and ill be there and that feeeeeeeeeeeeel like then there was no stopping few more howls and he did come down to see you..... 

 

soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo yahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh !!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

ever since then dog howls did becom that code word for missing....

 today walking around with his music and the dog howls and that feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel of Him and his missing howl.....

 

how charlie like how suddenly sometimes.....

this THIS much of him.....

this line from some movie or series it was today that goes with how times changes...

like you know how the meets get less frequent then the seeing gets even more less and then you even hear all the more less from them and suddenly it all just disappears like all gone.....

some dates on the calendar and that feeeel they bring along with now......

like you cant just help !!!!!!!!!!!

been an year heard from him......

soooooooo yeah it was rakhi and that very morning you wake up with this dream of his him looking his beauutiful best in a beautiful tone of blue almost powder blue and wit that beauuuuuuuuuuuuty of his full grown daaaadi..... like the dream and the after feeeels of that dream the waking up that touch ofhis over your chin still there that smell of his and THAT much of it still there..... like you struggle to get over that feeeeeeel of that dream the waking up after that dream almost made you forget it was rakhi and this happens now often..... as weird as this sounds the other dates on the calendar now come with any to something of him no matter what date it is..... like jo bhiii hai he is there like anything of him and the waaaaaaaaaay it just beomes all bout him.....

rakhi morning too was one of those.....

jsut bout to get ready and you see this gift on your bed it was from your mom like every rakhi she gets one for you in a way from bhayyas side.... 

open it and the exaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaact same color of blue that he was wearing that very morning..... shirt it was.....

you cause of your broad shoulders refrained from wearing shirts all this while and this being your very first proper shirt it was.... and whooo bhi of all the colors it was in His blue from that very same morning......

the fabric that beauuuuuuuutifully soft with that color of Him still on your mind wear it fataaak seee.....

and that feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeling charlie...... you wear things that look good and then there are things that come with Him that makes you happy like nothing else in the world possibly can.... that shirt was one of those cause just a few hours back you held him felt him chummied him felt his daaaaaaaaaadi felt that softness of his skin over the shirt in that same very same color and that exact one was what you were wearing.... like how beauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuutiful of it for a coincidence could that be.....

again one of those things that made you happpppppppy from the inside cause you felt him all through that day like you know that touch of him like you still had on with you kinda madness.....

that one shirt did become that much more special to you already.....

in his blue......

blue rakhi it was.....

mostly liek always its been bout bhayya and guilty it was this time it did become all bout Him....

kabhi bhayya bhot yaad aaate charlie.... specially when theres that sudden need out of nowhere to talk to someone for real bout him like you know verbally live him like talk smthing naything kuch bhi at all to someone like you know share......