whoo hotaaa naiii bas uttteee time mein to have lived that much love !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
like THAT much love !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
that even days like your brothers birthday or anniversary or rakhi now comes with those flashes of him in ways......
back then when you see him for the first time in formals that one shirt white n blue striped of his..... heading out for an interview and he changes and comes before you..... and asks you if he was looking okay even jsut as friends.....
through the conversation just before him leaving you ask him why dont people these days tuck in their shirts inside the trousers or jeans as him wearing.... and he stops one look at you and asks you that adooooooooooooorably who used to wear it that way and you tell him was your brother.....
like bhayyaa nai charlie that one love of his to tuck in every shirt or t shirt under the jeans and wearing those big boots style trainers.....
and after you ever did see anybody dress the way bhayya used to ......
and pata nai kyu that one wish did come out with him before him for teh first time bout bhayya.....
and the waaaaaaaay he nods away that adoorably still looking at you and says that doesnt suit everybody and smthing else he mentions while leaving still looking at you as he keeps turning around and looking at you.....
a few days or weeks it was later when he used to go back to changing from his gym chaddis to jeans that day he wears that same shirt that you loooooooooooooooooooved him in but this time tucks it inside the jeans and comes out that way...... that one feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeling charlie to just see him come out of the mens room walking out that way and looking at you waiting for him like looking you in the eye with that beauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuutiful wide smile on him one hand in the pocket it was that feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeling charlie that one most beautiful wordless feeeeeling of having that one unwished for wish of yours coming true.......
walking out with him you tell him it was just smthing you wanted to share and he could keep it the way he wanted to and not because you wanted to see him in.... and the waaaaaay he just nods away saying he just wanted to !!!!!!!!!
it was his way of love for you..... that still unsaid love for you cause you still were friends then but that need to fulfill that wish of yours.......... it was that thing charlie of sharing something of yours with someone your own.....
and then to live that feeeling to see that feeeling in reality like him showing you in a way he was your own tooo now.....
that one happppppppppy beauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuutiful smile of his that gleam in his eyes as he looks you in the eye all through that walk those slow steps letting you live him the most through the walk......
some moments that feeeeeeeeel of being loved !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
even when you didnt know it was love afterall !!!!!!!!!!
its like every corner of you of your life of your days your mornings your moments the secs and blinks of your life are filled with anything to everything Him and his love !!!!!!!!!!
all of this and more, even in his absence......
how do you even explain this to someone !!!!!!!!!
this life this Him that you are living, how do you what do you even call this as !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
like THAT much love !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
that even days like your brothers birthday or anniversary or rakhi now comes with those flashes of him in ways......
back then when you see him for the first time in formals that one shirt white n blue striped of his..... heading out for an interview and he changes and comes before you..... and asks you if he was looking okay even jsut as friends.....
through the conversation just before him leaving you ask him why dont people these days tuck in their shirts inside the trousers or jeans as him wearing.... and he stops one look at you and asks you that adooooooooooooorably who used to wear it that way and you tell him was your brother.....
like bhayyaa nai charlie that one love of his to tuck in every shirt or t shirt under the jeans and wearing those big boots style trainers.....
and after you ever did see anybody dress the way bhayya used to ......
and pata nai kyu that one wish did come out with him before him for teh first time bout bhayya.....
and the waaaaaaaay he nods away that adoorably still looking at you and says that doesnt suit everybody and smthing else he mentions while leaving still looking at you as he keeps turning around and looking at you.....
a few days or weeks it was later when he used to go back to changing from his gym chaddis to jeans that day he wears that same shirt that you loooooooooooooooooooved him in but this time tucks it inside the jeans and comes out that way...... that one feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeling charlie to just see him come out of the mens room walking out that way and looking at you waiting for him like looking you in the eye with that beauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuutiful wide smile on him one hand in the pocket it was that feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeling charlie that one most beautiful wordless feeeeeling of having that one unwished for wish of yours coming true.......
walking out with him you tell him it was just smthing you wanted to share and he could keep it the way he wanted to and not because you wanted to see him in.... and the waaaaaay he just nods away saying he just wanted to !!!!!!!!!
it was his way of love for you..... that still unsaid love for you cause you still were friends then but that need to fulfill that wish of yours.......... it was that thing charlie of sharing something of yours with someone your own.....
and then to live that feeeling to see that feeeling in reality like him showing you in a way he was your own tooo now.....
that one happppppppppy beauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuutiful smile of his that gleam in his eyes as he looks you in the eye all through that walk those slow steps letting you live him the most through the walk......
some moments that feeeeeeeeel of being loved !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
even when you didnt know it was love afterall !!!!!!!!!!
its like every corner of you of your life of your days your mornings your moments the secs and blinks of your life are filled with anything to everything Him and his love !!!!!!!!!!
all of this and more, even in his absence......
how do you even explain this to someone !!!!!!!!!
this life this Him that you are living, how do you what do you even call this as !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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